meischair

Idiot Flickr has changed it's sharing function...and this is the result. A random picture on my blog...well, it isn't exactly random. It is from my account and it is another MS Paint Masterpiece.

meischair, a photo by jtemperence on Flickr.

It's probably a better post than the one I was trying to stick it in anyway.

Spring Time

Supposedly we don't have seasons in The South...or so we're told.

Translated...what that means is we don't have much of a Fall...we don't get much of those muddy brown and orange clammy leaves all over our driveway in October.

Anyway...around the beginning of March those stinky Bradford Pears and Japanese Magnolias will bloom...won't be long before the Dogwoods, man do I love Dogwoods, burst...then Wisteria...and finally the Azaleas.

That's our neighbors yard up there...what I stare at with my morning coffee...beautiful that's all.

Biographical Tid Bit #3

I was almost killed by, and may yet die from embarrassment because of...one of these.




It happened in the parking lot at Hudson Salvage in Brandon...I'll never forget it. We had just left the store and were headed across the parking lot to the car when my right foot slid...more like a glide really...out from under me. It was so sudden and severe that Martha grabbed my arm.

I was the first to notice what had happened. I stared at the rubbery fleshy yellow lump in silence...not wanting to believe it while my mind started calculating the implications of what had happened.

Then I heard it...a guttural braying that was hard to place...like a pony and elephant having a heated argument..hahuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh heeeeh heeeh heeh...followed by gasping...huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh and sighing....aaahhhhhhhhhh...over and over. It sounded like the universe was laughing at me but it was just Martha...and when the sister found out....

It's a sound that's echoed in my head for 14 years.

"You slipped on a banana peel." That's their answer to everything.

As has been recently established by one of our loyal readers, I have the looks of a young Marlon Brando..."You slipped on a Banana Peel."

Style? I've got miles and miles. Martha's moseyin' around this morning in a pair of, admittedly flattering, sweatpants and short terry-cloth robe while I'm lounging in a red and white gingham oxford, a pair of perfectly faded jeans and loafers. Ralph Lauren told me he wanted to have my baby..."You slipped on a Banana Peel."

The two of them have a good degree from fine institutions. I have degrees from Superstar institutions...."You slipped on a Banana Peel."

I have a better record collection than both of 'em put together. They think James Chance was a game show host and neither one of 'em could name one Slint song or pick Mark E Smith out of lineup...."You slipped on a Banana Peel."

Etc.

Nothing I've done in life or may yet do can get out from under the shadow of that banana peel. This may end up being the only biographical tidbit that matters in the end.

Karaoke Queen

If you're a long time reader you will have noticed the recent silence of The Sister. She's been on a soft boycott of the blog ever since I told everybody she used to live in Pearl.

While the absence of insults has been pleasant I'm gonna go ahead and buckle...say something nice. It's for the boy. He was hurt when his aunt didn't comment on his smokin' guitar licks...I tried to tell him that it didn't mean she didn't love him, but...the little fella was just crushed.

So...

The sister is not without talents. As y'all know she has an artist's flair for telling people to kiss, stuff, and shut things...and she has the power to sniff out demons.

She's also a superstar at the Karaoke. Below is a still and some audio from one of her classic sets.





For those of you who may not know...this what the sister's on about.



USA! USA! USA!

More Old Pictures - London

Found it tucked in the pictures.



That's where I'd sleep when I would visit...right across the street from Kings Cross Station. It was run by a sweet old Maltese lady. She had passed away the last time I was around.

There was a Kentucky Fried Chicken around corner...and it was the setting for a very funny story involving Martha and her love of mashed potatoes...and a gigantic woman passed out on the counter.

Martha and Me

I don't remember where we were...maybe Paris.



I certainly remember where we were here. Graduation Day at Millsaps, but that's besides the point...the point is obviously Martha in that flowered dress.

Below is me...



after three hours of screwing with the scanner and finally getting the pictures on the computer...to be told by flickr that it can only upload two of a dozen photos...so instead of old pictures from London, Holland, Munich, Rome...I ended up with these two random shots.



Rome...I reckon.

enjoy

Coffee. Black. Hold the Politics

I haven't spent a dime with Holiday Inn for at least 15 years..since whenever it was they decided to no longer fly the Mississippi state flag on their Mississippi properties.



The state voted on it...and by a staggering majority(75%+) we, the state with the largest proportion of black folks in the country, voted to keep it.

Get over yourself...you're a low rent road-side motel with stupid television commercials.

You could call it race politics I guess, but it's not really about race. It's really about the insistent, sad and cloying U.S. need to be loved. They can't fathom that a group of people who, though they really don't deserve it, have the glorious privilege of being citizens of the United States of Uh-meeerica would still harbor separatist sentiments...that's all it is...FULL STOP.

Needy b****es.

Well I don't need to be loved (I'm well taken care of at the house thank you just the same)...

I NEED A CUP OF COFFEE!!!!

I've been in L'usiana all week workin'...with a co-worker who's trying to break the Guiness Book Record for loyalty points with Holiday Inn. So, here I am in one of their rooms...for now that is...until I need another cup of coffee. Then I'll be across the street (not a small feet when you're on Causeway in Metarie) at the curbstore standing in line behind 25 construction workers...all waiting to pay a buck fifty for a hot cup of bilge water marked Gourmet.


These morons have decided to remove the coffee pot from the lobby.

A motel without a coffee pot in the lobby!

Seriously...there's no coffee pot in the lobby.