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Saturday, November 5, 2011

Vanderbilt: With Guest Commentary

Vanderbilt is coming to town today and for the first time since 1945 they are bringing a football team with them.

If the Gators lose today it will be the first time they've lost five games in a row since 1988. That was the same year that the Commodores last won this game.

If the Gators lose today it'll be Yale football around here for the rest of the season.

I've gotta go to Vicksburg...do some work. Working on Saturdays in the Fall is a crime but, the boss man is in a jam and I couldn't leave him there.

You'll be in capable hands....I think. I mean I know the hands are capable. I just don't know if he'll show up. That's what you get dealing with college professors.

Y'all know Allan.

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He's is a PhD in, and professor of, philosophy. Which seems appropriate for today's game.

Nat, I know the game is on Gator Sports.com and you can try ESPN.Co.Uk. Game starts at 11:00 central time...I reckon that'd be about 7:00pm your time. 1900?

Go Gators.

Athletes 7 - Brains 0

Round of applause for Dr Allan everybody.

There's less than two minutes left. Florida's winnin' 24 - 21. Vandyy just scored....onside kick comin up.

Fail. Sorry about your luck scholars...game over. Go on back to the li'berry and read your books.
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17 comments:

  1. sansserifNovember 5, 2011 at 9:12 AM

    Googled Vanderbilt/gators...revealed to me the full glory of hunks clad in super-body-armour. Or maybe that should be second-bodies.
    Mmmm. maybe there is skill in this strange "game" e.f.
    I am off to the Motherwell v Celtic game tomorrow. Now there's a game of skill... (I will leave you to ponder my tone as I wrote that last sentence...).

    ReplyDelete
  2. natetinNovember 5, 2011 at 9:45 AM

    Drum roll: \ / drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

    Natetin slips on his cut-off jeans and examines his snug-fit sleeveless tlibrednadV T-shit in the mirror and lovingly runs his finger over his Ernest Hemingway spines: yes, Ernie, we will be hunting big game today.

    ReplyDelete
  3. natetinNovember 5, 2011 at 10:22 AM

    Allan needs to get over Satre, poor man's Heidegger and Being and Nothingness is clearly a sub-par rip-off of Being and Time.

    ReplyDelete
  4. natetinNovember 5, 2011 at 10:29 AM

    Also, is Allan shaving his arms from the elbow up? I intend that as an observation; not an allegation.

    ReplyDelete
  5. natetinNovember 5, 2011 at 10:34 AM

    Allegation - also the informal collective noun for a group of Gators fans.

    ReplyDelete
  6. GiaNovember 5, 2011 at 11:00 AM

    I told Allie there was a football team named the Gators and she was very veeeery interested in getting some pictures and maybe trying out for the cheerleading team. But then I told her they were just boys and not REAL gators and she got all huffy and said "That ISN'T FUNNY, Gia!!"

    Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  7. e.f. bartlamNovember 5, 2011 at 11:02 AM

    I got yer tone...and you've earned yourself a lecture on the merits of American football.

    :whisper:allanhatessatre:whisper:

    Games at 11:30 not 1.

    There's a connection in here but I'm giving out free stuff in a banquet hall full of women...HELP!

    ReplyDelete
  8. e.f. bartlamNovember 5, 2011 at 11:04 AM

    Thanks Mayor...they need it.

    ReplyDelete
  9. natetinNovember 5, 2011 at 11:25 AM

    The thing about gators, as a member of the reptile family, is that when the Vanderbilt meteor hits them, they will face mass extinction, just like the dinosaurs.

    Oh yeah, bring it on scaly skins - we're about to moisturise your ass!

    I could have phrased that better, but whatever, you're all Paris Hilton's handbags.

    ReplyDelete
  10. e.f. bartlamNovember 5, 2011 at 2:54 PM

    In yo' face!

    ReplyDelete
  11. e.f. bartlamNovember 5, 2011 at 4:46 PM

    Mujer...that looks like a good one to be at if the tables I saw are correct. Are you a Celtic supporter or do you steer clear of all that?

    Nat...Allan does not shave his upper arms. On a hand you'd cal it a farmer's tan but Allan, when he's not warping young minds, is a big boss Planter...blueberries.

    I guess you'd have to call it a money tan.

    ReplyDelete
  12. AllanNovember 5, 2011 at 4:57 PM

    good game. and by "good" i mean "florida wins." i'd forgotten what that was like. at least we've not devolved into vanderbilt-suckage. that's something. best part of the game was our lack of penalties. it's about time they got some discipline.

    sorry for the lack of commentary. internet's been down all day. but i must say that i look rather ravishing in that photograph.

    who is sartre?

    ReplyDelete
  13. e.f. bartlamNovember 5, 2011 at 5:16 PM

    I missed all but the last two minutes. Daddy wasn't real happy about it but they could beats the Saints and he'd find something to complain about.

    You gonna be around tonight Ravishing?

    ReplyDelete
  14. sansserifNovember 5, 2011 at 5:30 PM

    Motherwell all the way in this house e.f. - support your local team and all that...
    The greens and the blues are banned. We have been known to threaten our children with physical pain (least ways that what they would suffer if their mobile phones were removed from their paws) if they even hint that they might consider supporting the Big Sectarian Two...
    Sounds as if you had a good day...and I am glad for that.

    ReplyDelete
  15. e.f. bartlamNovember 5, 2011 at 8:46 PM

    Thank you but it's a relative good. The Gators have won two of the last five National Championships. This year due to several circumstances...including a coach that bonkers from the pressure...they are struggling to have a winning season.

    I thought you might stay clear of those two.

    ReplyDelete
  16. e.f. bartlamNovember 6, 2011 at 8:06 AM

    I saw the score Muj.....booo....hisses...boooo.

    Nat are you gonna cut your mullet off in anguish over yesterday's loss?

    ReplyDelete
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