Don't act like y'all don't know where we be neither.



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Showing posts with label The Volvo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Volvo. Show all posts

Friday, December 17, 2010

Things You Should Know About The Volvo

Over the last few weeks the car has become like a silent team member for the blog and I thought maybe a proper introduction was in order.

I would just direct you to the Mississippi Highway Patrol website, but I don't know how to post links.

the car

If you've been reading you already know that my turn signals aren't working, and that I have a coat hanger for an antenna. There's more...

There's Tinny the radio...I hesitate to call it a stereo. Sounds like a transistor in a coffee can... And it's got a governor on it. There's a point where turning the knob does as much good as callin' it names and yellin' at it to get louder.

If it's legal to put a governor on a stereo it should be illegal to play certain songs over the airwaves...

No Scrubs - TLC
Twang - George Strait
Country Grammar -Nelly
You can just wipe the whole Skynrd catalog from the rotation.
Workin' for MCA calls for 11...I get about a 4.

The driver side back door lock sticks. At first I thought it was because, other than the driver door, that's the door I use the most...throw the computer bag back there, load and unload the boy...but were talkin about a remote key. Why should it matter how many times I open the door...just the cosmos pickin' on me...AGAIN.

Of course, when it sticks I don't just press the button again...I mash it, squeeze it, shake the remote at the car, swing it around...like I'm attacking it with an imaginary samuri sword.

There's goldfish crackers piled into every crevice and pocket in the back seat..and toys hidden somewhere back there that squeak and squall and then go silent until the very moment that I've forgotten they're back there. Creepy toys.

I've got a cracked windshield, but clean windshields have the same life span as a double A battery around here.

That's the car...I spend almost as much time in it as I do in the house...and it's responsible for at least half the posts around here.

P.S. Adam reminded me yesterday that I may have a broken speedometer..and that's why I keep gettin' speeding tickets. Thanks brother...that might be just the defense I need in court.