Bravo Sierra

I've been writing about Southerners, and Mississippians in particular, for almost two years now.


Here's what Nancy Pelosi's spawn wants you to know about it.




I don't pray for the dissolution of this country. That would be tacky.

I do; however, long and hope for it.

Adamparsons Called it a Holiday.

Back in the office today...



Vacation's over.

We started strong on Beale.



The Boy almost caused a scene when we walked into the hotel lobby and he saw that.

"Daddy...Daddy...Daddy...it's Bo Diddley. Bo Diddley Daddy...LOOK! LOOK! Daddy!"

Look at the Boy's face...that kid loves Bo Diddley. A while back, I gave him a box of my old Star Wars figures. The first thing he did was snatch out Lando..Billy Dee Williams.."Bo Diddley...it's Bo Diddley." That's right he's got a Bo Diddley action figure.


Bo Diddley was an action figure.


The lady behind the counter giggled the whole way through check in. I'd been telling him the whole way up that Memphis had g'itars.

There's an odd mistake in Pies and Prejudice by Stuart Manconi...he's describing some rowdy Northern street. I can't remember which one...but, he says it's like Bourbon without the guitar motif. Of course Bourbon St. has trumpets and saxophones everywhere. It's a jazz town. It's Beale St. that has g'itars on everything...everywhere. Not that big a deal but...

Then there was that muddly bit in the middle of the week.

Despite it all, I do enjoy getting to see my in-laws...even if L, my sister-in-law, did say to me, after a game of scrabble...

"Why don't you take that J to bed with you tonight...use it as a pillow...you don't seem to be able to do anything else with it."

I got yer number L...yer gonna pay for that one.

A BUNN coffee pot turned out to be a source of some amusement. It's a coffee maker that keeps a reservoir of hot water...there's no waiting. You pour in cold water...hot coffee comes out...not exactly a new fangled idea.

"Do you leave it on all the time?"

"Sure that's what keeps the water warm."

"Is that safe?"

"Of course not. That's why we bought it for you...hoping it would burn your house down.....No No No. I'm kidding. It's perfectly safe. Ours is on at home right now."

"Well...how much energy does it use?"

"I have absolutely noooo flipping idea."

"Well..."

It's a coffee pot...not a *&^**&^% jet pack. I'm sure it's back in the box by now.

We were back by Wednesday afternoon...



Thursday morning I was at the dentist.

You may be asking...as I was...at this point, where's the vacation?

It happened for a few hours on Friday afternoon at the golf club...



...with these two.

Then it was back on schedule. We're selling our house and Sunday afternoons mean Open House. We have to split. It works out 'cause...after all, we're lookin' for a house ourselves.



You'd think it would be a no brainer with a back yard like that. Sadly, the layout of the house is almost as chaotic as the yard is serene. A serenity that was broken when I turned my back on the Boy for two seconds. I heard a door burst open..

"Put that down and get away from the pond."

The Boy had picked up the Goose and I guess the realtor...who was watching through the window...nearly had a heart attack. So, Martha ran out to give us both a dirty look.

I think me and the Boy were kinda wearin' her out anyway. She loves her boys but....she would have loved us more if we'd been in another car.

We think we're hilarious...

Boy - "Excuse me."

Me - "Excuse you."

Boy- "No excuse me."

Me - "No excuse you."

or...

"Stop sayin what I'm sayin."

"Stop sayin what I'm sayin."

"Stop sayin what I'm sayin."

I think Martha's still wondering where the vacation was.

Now Now!

Can you smell the meth?

Rural Indiana is littered with derilect farm houses and out buildings...and meth labs.

Can't imagine why.





While I was there, I spent some time around a fire...



I post the picture not as a fruedian slip but, as evidence of how nice the fire was.

I got my hair cut...



...they have a better grasp on current trends up there.

Here's me trying to get a grip...on the look before the cut.




I did get to see Mazes. We went for pizza...



...at a Ski Lodge themed pizza place. Like I said...they got the trends.* and **

Took in a few more sights...



Then...sadly...it was time to leave!

***


*That is not Mazes in the photo...you could fit two of mazes in that.

**Speaking of Mazes...there is some hope for this patch of dirt. Little Mazes. That kid is cool...he will "show them something."

*** Forgive the NSFW language...but, this foul language exists because sometimes it is all that will do.

Hey Now!

Beale St...Memphis, Tennessee.





Beale St. is not Church St. It's not even Clarkesdale...and tourists will sometimes wondered down into Mississippi under the mistaken impression that the Jukes along 61 Highway are just a more "authentic" extension of Beale.

It's not that people aren't hosptitable or that you can't "tour" The Delta. Some of them little towns are run by drug money from Memphis and, no matter how much you really love the Blues, you don't need to be monkyin' around down there...and just 'cause there's a crowd outside a Grocery on Sunday night it don't mean everybody's welcome.



Still...Beale St. isn't exactly Disney World and it's a lot of fun.



Well it's fun until you're told you ain't allowed in the bars.



That's the Boy trying to convince his Moma that he is big enough to go in.

He was mesmerized by the live music...which passed from Rockabilly to Noise/Jazz/Regga to Chitlin Circuit and Soul Blues...

"Daddy let's go in...we have to go in...I have to go in there."
___________________________________________________
12 hours later we had crossed the river twice...the land of lincoln...a long way from Memphis, Tennessee.

For Now.

Just logging on to leave some convenient images of Spring...




...before getting in the car and heading north to visit the in-laws. About a billion parts of pollen per square inch around here right now. If it doesn't rain for a few days everything appears through a greenish yellow haze. It's a strange sight.

This is my dogwood y'all. Hopefully she'll still be in bloom by the time we get back next week. It's about the only time of year I actually notice the back yard.



The neighbors yard will have exploded by the time we get back.



Just one long mound of azaleas...hot pink and white.

For the next couple of days we'll be travelling back in time to barren winter and naked trees. It's been warmer than usual up there this year but, I'm certain, as soon as we cross the Mississippi River into ciaro, illinois...the clouds will roll in and the temperature will drop 20 degrees.

Y'all say a prayer for me too...at least the few of you who aren't heathens. We all know what happened the last time I drove through illinios. &&^%&%^&%^&% Yankee Cops!!!

We've got one refreshing pause before carrying on up there...tonight we'll be on Beale St. in Memphis. Baby!

Post # 18

One of the highlights during my visit up north occurred yesterday on the way home. I got a speeding ticket in illinios.

"Is thrrrr-uh sammm-uh particulaaaar-uh reason-uh yah werrrr-uh drr-eye-ving-uh at-ah such ex-cess-ivuh speeed-uh?"

Have a look around bud...you should be pulling people over who aren't speeding. If they're takin' their time leavin' this miserable place they probably aren't sound enough mentally to be driving.

Is there some reason why you're talkin' to me through your nostrils?

I'll tell you...if you tell me how it became your childhood dream to hassel people along a miserable stretch of highway in this *** forsaken part of the country.

But, he hadn't written the ticket yet...and after a long tempting pause...

"Just tryin' to get back to Mississippi." I explained while handin' him my proof of insurance and driver's license.

"Doooow ya-ah knoooooooow-uh haaaw-uh fhhast ya-ah wrrrr-uh dr-eye-ving?"

"No sir...not really."

"Well-uh, Eye'm-uh gunnuh haaavuh ta wr-eye-t ya-ah a c-eye-taaa-sseeuhn..EARRR-ICK."

ERIK? Seriously? Erik?

Who in the h*** was this clown to be callin' me Erik?

For real..Erik?

We'd never laid eyes on one another before...and even though he's a cop he can't be so stupid as to believe I ever want to see him again.

Erik?

I guess in the land of lincoln it's quite alright to talk to someone you don't know by their first name...even when conducting official business.

Anyway he wrote the ticket and told us to "haavuh a guuuduh daaayuh."

"Yeah ha ha...you too fella."

Just in case I'd heard wrong...I turned to Martha and asked.

"Did that yankee call me by my first name?"

She had a look on her face that I haven't seen since we used to have a cat box in the house..."Uh yeah...he did."

Anyway...it's a 140 bucks. Which would have been money well spent if we had been able to speed through the lenght of the state. Sadly we were still 100 miles from the Mississippi River...we had to crawl the rest of the way...people zoomin' by us the whole time with those hideous license plates.

I hope they spend the money wisely 'cause it's the last flippin dime they're gonna get from me in illinios for a very long time.

The Dreary North

I don't know if it's actually raining...it's more like a thick mist that gathers into drops and falls sporadically. It's real wet whatever it is. And man is it dreary. The skys a dirty colorless gray...all the asphalt's balck and covered with a thin sheen of water...a mirror to the grime above. Solid objects like buildings, brown grassy medians, the Dollar Inn and Bob Evan's signs all look like they're floating in murk...like ships in a heavy fog.

Happy Thanksgiving Everybody.

:)

Frozen North

I'm sittin outside at a Starbucks havin some smoke and a cup of coffee. It's six in the morning, drizzly and breezy but I'm perfectly comfortable in a short sleeved shirt.

I am not perfectly comfortable with the awful, honkey 40s pop music blasting out over my head...if you have to ask lady you can't afford the doggy! This place....

Anyway, here in a minute we'll be getting in the car and heading to Indiana. Five hundred miles and eleven hours later we'll be in a winter wonderland of stubbled fields, naked trees, murky skies, genuine wind and menacing, biting, relentless cold.

I want to put a jacket on just thinkin' about it, but I better save it. I'll be wrapped up like the Michelen Man for the next four days.

Should be good company though*...Happy Thanksgiving y'all.

*I will be good company too as long as I'm in front of a tv somewhere warm for the Alabama/Aburn game on Friday.