Post #13 Installment 2

NO. I hadn’t discovered a tear in time…I had just bounced my melon off the floor after passin' out. I tried get to my feet but the nausea knocked me back down. I had to get to the breaker box in the hallway. I figured there was at least a chance that the sound was of this world...and if it was it would need juice. If I could cut the electricity maybe I could kill it.

I crawled and stumbled my way back through the hallway…a hallway that seemed to be spinning into a tube...the hardwood was crawlin’ the walls. I pulled my self up to the box. Pain piercing deeper into my ears with every breath my heart sunk as I pulled each switch..nothin'...nothin'...nothin'...until the last one...nothin.

That left one explanation...there was a ghost, a shade, a specter, a spook, in the attic...and I wasn’t hangin around for that. Me and my adrenal glands were up and out the door and onto the back deck...into a torrent of acorns and leaves.

After being in the house, what had been intolerable in the front yard was now manageable in back.. There weren’t anything left to do but call Martha. She’s not a medium…that's just what I do..."have you seen my keys? Are my grey socks clean? There's a banshee in the attic."

"It's probably the carbon monoxide detector."

"Say what now?"

"Yeah the detector I got the other day."

"We have a carbon monoxide detector."

"Yep. It's been on my to-do-list for a while now."

"Well...it's goin' off. What should I do?"

"I don't really know honey. You probably shouldn't be in the house though."

"That’s good advice Sugar, but I don't need it. Is there any way to stop it?"

"I guess you could take the batteries out.”

Let’s stop a second here…I don’t know what was more irritating her nonchalance or the idea that the belligerent assault I’d just endured was powered by a cheap battery from Sams.

“Where is it?”

“Under the desk in the kitchen."

“In the house?”

“Well yeah.”

"OK"

"Good Luck.”

I had no choice but to go back in…only this time I had to hold my breath. Push ups on a tilt a whirl woulda been easier but I reached the detector and snatched it out of the wall. Got the battery out…and called the fire department.

"It's probably just a dyin' battery, but if you want to be on the safe side"...really..."you could open some windows."

Do I need to explicitly articulate the insanity of this episode or can y’all read between the lines?

It’s not the first time an item on one of Martha’s to do lists has nearly killed me, but I’d say it was the closest call.

'Course the ultimate irony is I probably couldn't last more than a week without her.

Love you Sugar,
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