In 31 days we'll push the screen door open and step out onto the front porch. Our former lives, which at that point will seem dull and dingy by comparison, will be transformed into a techinicolor world of singing, dancing, adventure and intrigue...High Drama.
It's a world that runs on bourbon, and the vapors of smoking hogs. Ladies it's time to go shopping for a new sun dress. Fellas you may need to get a new tie and if you're in Baton Rouge...you probably need to do both.
Half of y'all know exactly what I'm talking about...and the other half, by now, can probably guess....
For those of you who can only guess (Brits, minus Adam, and the odd...very odd yankee cough:mazesandgarylurker:cough), you are being invited...no you're being required...to participate in what is probably the greatest spectacle in all of sport* - The Southestern Conference football season. The S-E-C.
Over the next month were gonna talk about the game...try and deal with certain elements that are troubling to our overseas friends like pads, the stops and starts, the clock, etc. Talk about the history of college football and The SEC in particular. Give an overview of each team and what will be required of you once you've decided which team you'll be backing. That's right you gotta pick a team to follow so I can berate you every week when the Gators destroy them.
There's only one rule. For those of you who reflexively love the underdog...first one that picks Vanderbilt has 'em all to their self.
Go Gators, Roll Tide, War Eagle, Go State! Go State!, Call the Hawgs...it's time.
*I was in Germany when England and Germany played in the European Cup to penalty kicks...only thing that I've personally witnessed that compares. It makes sense...because these games are at least nominally played between states. The animosity and passion that attends these games is more like that between European and British Isle national teams than professional American sports. The NFL has it's passionate fans but the teams are not as wrapped up with identity as these College teams are.
The NFL Tennessee Titans play in a stadium that holds just under 69,000. The University of Tennessee Volunteers play in a stadium that holds over 100,000.
I know there's that world cup thing every four years...I know but, since our "overseas" readers are really English readers...well you know...
EDIT: Let me save Mazes the trouble...
Vid belongs to ESPN/ABC
I will do my best to keep everybody else informed about the Big Ten. SEC must stand for Southern Education for Criminals.
ReplyDeleteBy way of movie recommendation: I watched Bronson last night:
ReplyDeletehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bronson_%28film%29
One of the better low-budget Brit efforts I've seen recently. Great performance by actor Tom Hardy who's playing Bane in the new Nolan Batman movie - not that I care much for Nolan - style over substance, etc.
Netflix keeps telling me to watch that...I guess it's settled now.
ReplyDeleteNat...are you a snazzy dresser? It's important..be honest.
Am I a natty dresser? They say women dress to impress, not men, but other women. In a similar, though inverse fashion, I think I dress to disappoint other men … having said that … not sure I know exactly what that means.
ReplyDeleteMost of my clothes are frayed at cuff and hem and/or ripped and holed - holed independently of the apertures through which one would normally put head or limb. Though I do enjoy a good leisure trouser and am a fervent believer in a sensible and supportive quality leather shoe.
I do wear a blazer and tie to work every day; however, wear and tear means I can't really afford comfort and quality of a tailored fitting. If I had more money, I think I would dress better, but am generally ambivalent, especially when it comes to the thorny issue of accessorising.
In short: I do believe in taste and discrimination and, cometh the hour, cometh suit; however, those that believe “clothes maketh the man” are in won't of an education in biological basics. And while Mark Twain's addition: “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.” may have been wittily apposite when fist coined, it is increasing off-mark in the present era of mass advertising and celebrity fashion.
It's interesting how adjectives and terms related to fashion are interwoven into our everyday language and how we, almost subconsciously, seamlessly tailor our language to fit - cut our cloth to - a measure suiting our own view of the world … hearts on sleeves …belt and braces … blue collar worker … rose tinted glasses ...eat my hat and/or shorts … by the seat of my pants ...bob and weave close shave … if the hat/shoe fits … similarly for agriculture and construction … tools of survival … war … work … sex … sex work … sex wars … and so on.
With lack of words to wear, we dress ourselves with whatever comes to hand which, in my case, is bad puns.
More on topic - when sporting clichés go wrong:
ReplyDeletehttp://youtu.be/LTRSY06pcNE
I think we have to just give Vanderbilt to Nat...are there any objections?
ReplyDeleteI thought about LSU...as I'm sure Nat likes to drink and post and I'm guessing there's been a furry purple pimp hat somewhere in his past but, it's pretty clear that to send him anywhere other than Nashville would be unfair to both him and the co-eds at Vandy.
Nat you gotta get a pair of chinos with little anchors on them for Saturday...we'll get into all that.
Adam...how do you feel about Athens, Georgia?
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of anchors, you reminded me of the only lines in Anchorman, as spoken by Steve Carell's character, to make me laugh out loud: "I'm Brick Tamland. People seem to like me because I am polite and I am rarely late. I like to eat ice cream and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks. Years later, a doctor will tell me that I have an I.Q. of 48 and am what some people call mentally retarded."
ReplyDeleteVanderbilt? Isn't that the name of Harry Potter's mortal enemy in the eponymously titled film series?
Vanderbilt University. According to most ratings one of the top 50 universities in the world.
ReplyDeleteThey have no athletic department and have been to exactly two bowl games since Kennedy was president, they've never won the SEC but, are a charter member of the conference and everybody loves them...but, they are eggheads. Funky eggheads though, as cool as eggheads can be...located in West End in Nashville...not entirely clueless eggheads.
The Vanderbilt Commodores...your new favorite team.
You're welcome.
Once, twice, three times a Commodore!
ReplyDeleteYour Sunday mornings are gonna be anything but easy...rootin' for the Commodores.
ReplyDeleteJust been checking out Vander coach James Franklin's pep talks on youtube; frankly, one's heart does not catch in one's mouth, nor does one want to pull that family photo out of the wallet to take that one last glance before entering battle proper; knowing that not everyone one will make it back; there will be sacrifices, but who dares, wins; and there will be no time to wonder if one's parents had paid in the monthly allowance and whether Tibbles had enough cat food in her bowl this morning.
ReplyDeleteThat is one tough row to hoe...coaching Vandy.
ReplyDeleteThey can't recruit the same athletes because of the academic standards...It would be near hard anywhere but, in The SEC it's a ridiculous task. It's a place for a gentleman coach like they had in Bobby Johnson or a place where a coach tries to make his name. If he can win there he can win anywhere kinda thing.
I've got a post coming...we've been tied up with the boys 3rd birthday and all his company...and trying to extract toys from packages.
I'm expecting a post sometime in the near future on The Boy's birthday extravaganza...since his favorite uncle couldn't make it (his favorite uncle's maw-in-law was visitin', and I can assure him that one day he will understand just how MUCH his uncle would've rather been blowin' out candles with him instead).
ReplyDeleteThat said...I've the pipelines searching hard for tix to the beat-down that will take place at the hands of the Gators in Death Valley. Things are not looking well at the moment so far as procuring said tix are concerned, although I'm holding out hope. But I did receive favorable news of late: a friend has an extra ticket for when the Crimson Tide visit the Rebels in mid-October, and I'll be there, amigos.
Favorable news for you...now that I know it's every man for himself it'll be a lot easier for me to use my extensive connections in Louisiana to find one ticket.
ReplyDeleteI'll make sure The Boy knows why we're watching the best looking game in all of football* at the house instead of the stands....your Uncle Allan is a mercenary.
*Actually the best looking game in football is Ole Miss, in their road uniforms, at Alabama. 1 and 1a of the greatest uniforms in the history of sport.