"Where you takin' that box?"
"To the dumpster."
"Can I have it?"
No, of course, you can't have it. Every time I take a box to the dumpster it gives me a new Hummel Figure for my collection.
"Sure."
"This is a really great box. I've gotta get my office organized and this box is perfect."
...
"What you got goin' today?"
"Yer lookin' at it....probably burn a cigarette." I didn't even raise my eyes from the computer screen, which at that moment was blank. A question like that is necessarily preceded by a series of unpleasant thoughts..."I want to accomplish X. X is a really big task. I need help with all that work. I wonder what Erik's doing."
"I think I'm gonna jump on that freezer...get it straightened out. Try to get some organization in there."
"It is a mess back there."
...
"What's happenin' man...what's really goin' on."
He took a long drag...sighed through the smoke..."Just tryin' to cross reference some products with users...tryin' to maximize my time so I'm not drivin' all over creation this year."
...
These people are always trying to get organized. They're constantly trying because they always fail...and I'm supposed to be the one that's crazy.
First of all it's unhealthy. At some point you gotta accept the world for what it is. Maybe the world is trying to organize you. Relax, accept it...take comfort in the fact that you will never express a thought so dreadful as.."That's a really great cardboard box."
Secondly, people that are actually doing their job, don't have time for that crap. My job is to walk into a kitchen...smile, crack some jokes, and wink on the way out...and I am very good at my job. People that talk in meetings, fill out reports, and organize are people that want you to think they're working. That's a Universal rule.
"Honey can you get that trash out?"
"Sugar men who have time to take out the trash...are men who aren't working hard enough at being a Father and Husband."
See?
My one and only New Year's Resolution...be an even better employee and an even better Father and Husband.
Ha! A good resolution! But procrastination at work is just sooo easy.
ReplyDeleteYes it is ma'am...yes it is.
DeleteI second the resolution. All you have to do now is keep it.:-)
ReplyDeleteMy husband would have snatched that box right out of my hands! Never get rid of anything that might be useful is his motto.....
Given the parameters that I've set...I think I can hold to it. Ha.
DeleteIf Martha had been there...a fight would have broken out over that box.
Bless you - at last, the perfect spokesman for The Disorganised. And in my experience, cardboard boxes are full of papers that have been there for at least twelve years, along with assorted socks, hair and toast crumbs. There is no other kind.
ReplyDeleteI'm here for you C...I'm here for all y'all that have been tormented by these list makers and filers.
DeleteReally great box? Oo er, sounds a bit rude.
ReplyDeleteYou're bad.
DeleteI got jokes now...none of which are appropriate.
Have you got another box that's quite similar? I'm looking for one, to put 'stuff' in. Then I can slide it under an appropriately-sized piece of furniture, find it in three years, and have a row with my husband about why we should hang on to the contents because we might need them.
ReplyDeleteHa One thing about Martha, she would have used that box to take things to the dump.
DeleteI try not to sit still in the same place for very long...for fear of being bagged up.
I like boxes. Have you heard the 'Little Boxes' song? Boxes are great and neat and tidy. Straight lines and fit nicely in corners.
ReplyDeleteAre you refering to the rocknroll scorcher Little Boxes by Adamparsons?
DeleteWe're not talking about boxes with Cats on 'em or bedazzled boxes...we're talkin' about white cardboard boxes stamped IQF Chicken Wings.