I had an appointment on Vicksburg St. in New Orleans...and I've just gotten an abbreviated version of the directions, that I forgot, over the phone from Martha.
"Ok then...right on Canal, right on Harrison, right on Vicksburg. Got it. Thanks Sugar."
What could possibly go wrong?
Well, nothing between Hattiesburg and Canal St. I could drive that blind folded...in the rain. I was feeling pretty smug as I got closer to the exit. The appointment wasn't for another hour and a half. I'd cruise by the address just to make sure (we're still talking about New Orleans after all). Then head down in the Quarter for a binget and some coffee, a smoke. I got this ****.
"What the...?"
The exit was not where it should have been. I had to cross over Canal to get to it. In the Grand Scheme of Things, no great sin against the proper placement of Interstate Exits but, in relation to my directions, it was the start of a series of missteps that wouldn't end for another hour and twenty-nine minutes.
Entering Canal from that direction meant that a right turn would take me into The Quarter...or along the edge of it. Canal, at least in my mind, is it's eastern border. It's probably actually the southern border but, who can keep up? At any rate, Canal is a boundary of The Quarter and runs perpendicular to the River...'course it probably ends at a bend making it an acute or, more likely, an obtuse angle. All the angles in New Orleans are obtuse.
That was a problem for a couple of reasons. One, I was "certain" that I should be heading away from the river. I had mentally mapped out the directions in my mind and this wasn't right but, given my track record in that area, how could I be certain of anything.
Secondly, I was looking for Harrison St. Not a very French sounding name but, then again...all the Quarter streets change names and become more sensibly Anglo once they cross Canal. Chartes St. becomes Camp, Burgundy becomes University, Marais St. becomes Villeres...wait a minute. Anyway, you get the picture. It's possible that Brie or Grenouille St. could, once they cross Canal, become Harrison.
I was still deliberating as I pulled up to Canal...and decided to just go with the directions and turned right toward the river...when this came on the FM....
For the next couple of minutes I didn't care where I was headin'...
_________________________________________________
Pictures for the Mayor...
Central Grocery
Muffaletto
Hey, Boyfriend has to go to New Orleans for business in a couple of weeks. Got any advice for him?
ReplyDeleteSure.
ReplyDeleteWhat's he like to do...other than have a few days where he's not in danger of losing an eyeball?
Whatever he does he'll have to go to Central Grocery and get a muffaletto.
All those billions of taxpayer's dollars on satellites that can gaze upon your navel, with the level of high-definition detail nature didn't even feel necessary to equip with you with, and you don't have sat-nav?
ReplyDeleteA sat-nav or GPS would just be one more piece of machinery to constantly screw up and infuriate my life.
ReplyDeleteBesides...that would be a fundamental shift in my relationship with the roads and streets. I'm not ready for that.
Lazy Sunday, few beers and catching up on the laundry while watching The Sopranos. Never got round to watching it before. And yes, I know I'm johnny-come-lately to the party. I also recommend two new series: Boss, with Kelsey Grammer and Homeland; both, for some reason, feature a lot of boob shots. I have no idea why they felt it necessary, because the plotting and acting are otherwise excellent and, while I'd say I'm pro-boobs generally, especially on women, I don't feel we need to see them, quite to often, exposed on TV, especially when I'm eating dinner. Let's hope they don't catch on to showcasing men's dangly bits on prime time dramas, don't want to see that while I'm tucking into my bangers and mash with onion gravy.
ReplyDeleteFYI, I'm not drinking beer and doing my laundry at 8:18 AM; that's the kind work ethic I'm not prepared to commit to just yet.
ReplyDeleteWhat's a muffaletto?
ReplyDeleteAnd he likes to NOT talk to pretty girls, that's for sure. So anything that involves all dudes and no ladies would be a good activity. Or maybe something musicy. But still no girls.
Nat didn't you once suggest that we change the name to D Cups as part of a complete overhaul of the blog?
ReplyDeleteMayor...if you don't want him around any girls, at least biologically speaking...there are plenty of places like that in New Orleans.
If he goes down Bourbon and how can he avoid it, he will come face to face with methheads in shiny blue bikinis and pleather knee high boots.
Lots of music...obviously there's jazz. In the clubs and on the streets but, there's always bands in town at places like The Howlin Wolf and the House of Blues there has some decent shows. Just check around but there should be somebody playing he'd like to see.
The Mona Lisa down Royal is a great Italian/Pizza place...and if he likes books there are some great stores there.
I've updated the New Orleans tag...so that the post which are actually about New Orleans come up when you click it.
ReplyDeleteAh, thank you! I'll pass this on.
ReplyDeleteDont ever rely on sat nav either.. Had one tell me I was doing 310Mph. Now that wouldn't be bad if I actually was. At the time was stuck in traffic in a Suzuki Swift, so no chance of that being right.
ReplyDeleteSecond one was when I headed south to see my parents, I specifically set no unmade roads and major highways. Ended up going down an unmade road for 3 1/2 hours.. You can imagine what happened to that sat nav unit...
See. You can't trust these machines.
ReplyDelete"mens dangly bits on primetime dramas"...and now the thought is planted I cannot get bloody rid!
ReplyDeleteAlthough....maybe Gia might want boyfriend to be chained to the motel tv watching just that very type of drama...
"D Cups"? Mmmm more like "Nae Cups" - unless the dudes have been partaken of the female hormones...
Anyway, I am snowed in here. And bored. Though marginally less bored after reading your guff...
We were thinking about turning it into a matchmaking site...mainly for Nat's behalf.
ReplyDeleteIf dangly bits is what you're after in New Orleans, the streets are your best bet.
I saw some nightmarish pictures this morning...we'll do our best to help you pass the time.
Gia has turned tales harassing, assaulting, and even nearly mutilating her boyfriend into an art form...poor fella.
ReplyDeleteSomebody in this office is listening to the *&^%%^&ing battle hymn of the republic...and somebody is going to die if they don't turn it off.
ReplyDeleteHahahaha - Gia is a woman after my own heart...
ReplyDeleteand I am certain it would be reduced from murder to culpable homicide given the battle hymn provocation...
snow still falling...ugh.
Round here...it might not even go to trial given the nature of the provocation.
ReplyDelete