On the Road - Hubig's Pies

It's occurred to me that, given all the time I spend on the road, as a service to my readers, I should start to compile the vast knowledge I've acquired into something like a survival guide. Not only do I have the experience that comes with spending 72 hours a week behind the wheel but, it also fits in with my natural tendency to be always thinking of others...rarely thinking of myself.

A compendium of things like how to navigate when your GPS is on the blink...or how to maintain a properly functioning vehicle...



You can leave your wife and kids behind but, your health travels with you.



We'll keep an up to date list of exactly where to get donuts and cheap cigarettes when travelling in Mississippi and Louisiana.

Our first installment concerns the proper (by negative example) procedure for heating a Hubig's Famous New Orleans Style pie on the dashboard.



Just because I spend my days going in and out of the finest kitchens in the Southeast doesn't mean I get to eat in 'em. Besides, a true hallmark of the Road Warrior is not having the time for proper meals. If you want to eat meals...go work for wages. It takes caffine, sugar and, intestinal fortitude to live this life.

Hubigs Pies...delicious in any state but, like anything involving butter solids, heavenly at room temperature. That's when the magic happens...crumbly becomes flaky...viscous becomes gooey. There's always the microwave, but....



...you run the risk of burning a hole between your mouth and your nasal cavities.

The better option is your dash. Granted there is an abundance of sunshine where I live and even on a chilly day it beats down enough warmth to melt butter on a dashboard. If you "live" in colder climes...you'll be running the heat.

What you don't want to do is what I did last week on the way back from Baton Rouge. Conditions were perfect..not only was the sun brightly shining but, it was a cool day and I had the heat set to a gentle warmth. I watched that Hubig's Apple on the dash all day long. Letting the anticipation build...at times I could smell it. My mouth would water. I would resit. This was going to be my treat for the last leg of the trip...coffee at the McDonald's in McComb and my delicious fried apple pie.

I was set when I pulled back on the I-55 headed towards Brookhaven. In a couple of miles the coffee would cool enough to drink and it would be time to rip that brittle paper open on the form of delicious.

"WT..."

The bottom of my pie was perfectly soft to the touch...but, the top was like a block of dry ice. I had let the sun set on my pie. Evidently 50 degrees hitting your windshield at 80 miles an hour, in the dark, turns the thing into a freezer coil. Disaster...or, it would have been if not for the Mackdonald's coffee. After 10 miles, the temperature of the coffee had dropped down to just above the boiling point. I was able to cool my coffee to a potable temperature and heat my pie right up to the melting point.

Adapt and overcome. That's how you survive on the road.