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Showing posts with label Mazes Hates on the SEC. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mazes Hates on the SEC. Show all posts

Monday, January 7, 2013

They've Dealt With Yer Kind Before


It's Here...2013 BCS National Championship Game.

The Alabama Crimson Tide v. The Notre Dame Fighting Irish.

ND wins the toss..defers. Alabama will start on offense.

Huge gain for Bama...Norwood picks up 30 on the pass.

It's early but, it's already looking bad for ND...Lacey just bull rushed for 10 and a first down. Topped off with a facemask penalty.

Off sides Notre Dame...they better settle down or this could get ugly in about 10 minutes.

If you're wondering where the Gators have been...we will discuss their vile performance in the Sugar Bowl at half-time.

Oh by the way, Alabama just bulldozed their way into the endzone! If this is any indication of where ND is...they are cooked.

ND comes out throwing. If there's a weakness, weakness being relative, in the Bama defense it's the secondary.

That's a close one but, ND shouldn't have had to call a time out to have it reviewed. It'll be a first down or a punt for Notre Dame.

It's a yard rule Irish...stop whining. You can't be all up in his grill.

Alabama is rumbling all over the Notre Dame D.

That was a good play for ND secondary but, he was wide open...and McCarron had all night to throw the ball.

First Down Alabama.

Shoestring tackle on Lacey...or it would be 14 ...Wait a minute IT IS 14 - NIL.

It's still early but, this is ugly.

He was down. It'll be ND ball.

ND's ball. No fumble.

Notre Dame punts the ball.

Notre Dame has given up, on average, 11 points a game...Alabama has run 18 plays and has 14 points. right now they're moving the ball at will.

Notre Dame finally get's Alabama in a 3rd and long-ish...they just drop a 20 yard pass on 'em. Second and goal from the two yard line.

Notre Dame has brought a football team to a Tank Battle...Alabama Crimson Tide 21 effortless points...notre dame Nothin'.

This is silly.

Two good stops by the Irish long can Alabama maintain an edge?

Alabama might actually have to punt. They will.

One good run for ND...then boom.

ND punts.

Now we just watch and see how long Alabama can maintain the pace.

It just took about 6 ND defenders to tackle Lacey and he threw the first one down WWF style.

Even when Alabama has to punt it ends up being a highlight.

It's kinda settled into ND trying to get something...anything going.

That was there best chance to convert a third down...Bama dropped 'em for about a five yard loss. Hopefully Alabama can get it going again...and put another seven on the board.

Alabama is just stoopid strong.

What a catch by Jones...pitch and catch.

This is an assault. The cops might show up and put a stop to this. Alabama 28 - ND Nothing.

McCarron to Jones...hand it to Lacey...hand it to Yeldon...whatever it's a massacre.

Sideline reporter asked the Notre Dame coach could be done to change this in the second half. He says, "get Alabama not to come out for the second half."

Notre Dame has come out throwing the ball...they've picked up a few first downs.

They tossed it around long enough for Bama to pick the ball off.

Lacey might as well be swinging a sledge hammer out there...he is punishing people. Literally.

Touchdown Alabama...they just drove the ball 97 yards like a Sunday stroll. Alabama 35..ND Nothing.

Words like "embarrassment" are being tossed around's still the 3rd quarter. It's been on the tip of everybody's tongue since the first drive.

Some of what we were treated to leading up to the game, and make no mistake it was directed at all of us...

ND finally gets into the endzone...yawn.

This is just ridiculous...Alabama picks up a first down. It's called back because of hold. They just pick it right back up on the next play. It's academic at this point...the more Alabama runs the ball...the more tired the ND defense gets...the easier it is to run. This is not a football game it's a clinic.

End of the Third Quarter...Alabama Crimson Tsunami 35 (and moving)...Notre Dame 7.

McCarron to Cooper...Alabama 42 - ND 7.

Herb Herbstriet, one of the announcers was heard, as they cut away to commercial, "I can just hear those SEC fans around the country."

SEC SEC SEC SEC SEC...that's what he's hearing. Let's face...LSU dropped the ball in the Peach Bowl and Florida made absolute asses of themselves in the Sugar Bowl but, it's the SEC and and everybody else.

SEVEN NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS in a row...Georgia lost the SEC championship at the 6 yard line, Texas A&M beat Alabama at home. The National Championship is played in Atlanta.

Finally some action...the Alabama players are starting to fight with one another. They're up by 28 points but they're still so jacked up they're squabbling.

Put it in the books...Alabama 42 - notre dame 14. The score looks a lot closer than it actually was. One of the most lopsided games I've ever seen.

Roll Tide!


Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Nobody Would Call That a First Down

I know most of y'all don't care about football....but, I assume that everybody cares to some extent about justice. What happened yesterday during the South Carolina - Michigan game was an example of the Cosmic kind.

Without bogging down into minutia, a team has four downs (or tries) to move the ball ten yards. If they are successful...they get a new set of four downs. The ten yard distance that a team must move is kept by a chain with a pole on each end.

Look closely that ball at the end of the chain? No it is not but, Michigan, on fourth down, was awarded a fresh set of downs based on that spot.

Bull S**T is the only way to describe it. Steve Spurrier went berserk...the announcer was flabbergasted, "nobody would call that a first down." For all the complaining that fans do about officiating, it's rare to have such a blatant example of incompetence or worse.

By all rights, signs, runes, tea leaves and flash polls....the ball belonged to South Carolina. What happened on the very next play shook the Universe and set it aright....


First Down South Carolina.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

"Enjoy The SEC Championship Everybody"*

*The only sensible thing Tim Brando has ever said.

Roll Tide.

All you need to know about Georgia is their Fight Song is based on The Battle Hymn of the Republic.

And they wear silver britches.

These two played for the first time in 1895.

Bama picks up a first down then far nothing gained or lost.

Murray running for his life...that has to be part of the game plan for Georgia. We'll see how that works out.

3 and Out - Punt Dawgs.

Georgia does have a few players on that defense...but, if they can't stop Alabama from running the ball this thing won't last long.

Uh oh...Alabama turns the ball over.

Don't looked shocked Murray...we all saw it. Back 'em up.

First down Georgia.

Got 'im.  Kick a field goal losers.

Ha ha...wide right. Still 0 - 0.

Short...see if they can flip the field. Crap. Alabama picks up the first down on a fake punt only to have it called back for a delay of game penalty.

Murray goes down again.

Then Gurly runs right by the defense. 1st down Georgia.

End of 1st Quarter - Georgia 0 - Alabama 0

Georgia fakes the punt...and pulls it off.

Touchdown Georgia...

Georgia 7 - Alabama 0

Georgia's fired up now...they just backed Alabama up about 15 yards. Coverage Sack.

There you go a wet blanket. Punt you dirty dogs.

What a catch...what a flippin' catch.

That's runnin' down hill.

I don't like the these rules that baby the quarterback's the rules. Roughing passer. First and goal Alabama.

This is some stout football...3rd and goal.

What a terrible throw...Alabama is screwing themselves to the wall. Two turnovers...and that hideous songs starts.

Answer to the Trivia question...Ingram, Newton and Weurfell.

Bama's moving the ball...slowly.


Georgia 7 - Alabma 7

Are they gonna let these knuckleheads score before the end of the half?

Interception!!! And Murray got the sense knocked out of 'im.

Uncharacteristic for Bama...bad clock managment, like Miles bad but, Bama gets 3


Georgia 7 - Alabama 10.

"Vicious" is how Gary described the first half.

Can I just express my hatred for the commercial that begins with the statement..."all individuals are created equal...teams are not." How is that possible...gooblygoook. I can't stand it.

Georgia's back down the field.

Touchdown Gurly...that was too easy.

Georgia 14 - Alabama 10

If Bama can blast it through the tackles like that they may yet get this thing under control.

Or they could take sacks and lose 6 yards at a time.

Alabama gets ripped on a pass interference that was waved off...then Georgia blocks the field goal for a touchdown.  Two special teams fails and two turnovers for Bama...horrendous clock managment...who is this.

Georgia 21 - Alabama 10

Alabama's tryin' to respond.

Bama RESPONDS...TOUCHDOWN! Alabama is going for two...GOT IT!!!

Georgia 21 - Alabama 18

Stoned!  One more stop.

Outstanding...punt it dawgs.

OOOOPS...about 30 yards on that one...15 on the next.  They are beatin' 'em down at the line. Alabama's almost as fired up as Martha.

The Tag on that truck reads LACEY.

Martha's calling out the yard to go.

End of 3...Alabama on the one inch line.

TOUCHDOWN ALABAMA...they are just running it down their throat now.

Georgia 21 - Alabama 25

Martha is talking all kinda trash about Saban being a real coach because of the two point conversion. Georgia needs a touchdown to pull ahead.

I think, like a lot of women...she hates timidity (especially in men) and there are a lot of scared coaches out there.

Uh Oh...that was a great catch.

Just like that Georgia's in the red zone...Murray hits King for about 50 yards.

Damn...Gurley in for the touchdown.

From Martha.."This is Stressful." Where's she been all year.

Georgia 28 - Alabama 25

Yeldon just carried three Dawgs across the first down line.

This is brutal football...and Alabama seems to be wearing down the Georgia defensive line.

That Jenkins is wide as dump trunk.

Bama punts and pins Georgia back behind their 10 yard line.

STONED at the line...punt Georgia punt.

How man Ogletrees are on this Georgia team?

Bama's kinda sputtering...they've got about 5 minutes here.

We all stepped out during a Georgia timeout and Bama scores on a bomb.

Georgia 28 - Alabama 32.  That conversion is really telling at this point.

Get on now Dawg...punt the ball so you can lose. Ha ha losers.

All Alabama needs is a few first downs.

Alright y'all...Georgia gets one more shot at it. Right at one minute.

85 yards to cover and no timeouts for Georgia. Here we go. the review. I can't say...I know what I want it to be but...

Martha's catching the vapors over on the couch.

That ball hit the interception...that close. We await the official call.

No interception.

Georgia's at the 35 now...great catch, especially after the way he got popped.

So close close. The game ended on the 3 yard line with Georgia unable to stop the clock.

Martha was pretty hilarious...she was down for Bama.

Up next revenge for 1966!


It was a great football game...and this clip is worth a look if you have any interest in what great offense looks like.

Friday, November 30, 2012

Hold that Thought Punk.

Last weekend, in an attempt to never leave the house again...ever, I watched a documentary about Joe Strummer. I'm not sure I learned anything new...I was already certain that John Cusack has nothing of interest to say about anything before he popped up in this pogram. I'd never really seen the timeline of his early life straight through like that...public school (boarding school we'd call it), the quasi-hippie days and the sense of having missed the revolution...his recruitment into Punk Rock....

Later in the week, I read an article about Conservatism and Modernism...the importance of Modernism in bringing about the kind of a-political, anti-ideaology, Conservatism that your author subscribes to...coming to tradition and belief through an absolute skepticism that anything can ever be known. Much of it focused on T.S. Eliot....but, the article glanced against Punk Rock describing it as the last Modern expression in Popular Culture.*

It was the last sight of, what one reader called, "manly nihilsm." The last unflinching look at a world without Authority and the consequences of such a situation.

It's here that Strummer comes back into the picture. That's where we'll pick it up...after tomorrow or, not. We can't talk about it today because this post is about to be buried.

Tomorrow, the Southeaster Conference will decide it's Champion as the Georgia Bulldogs and the Alabama Crimson Tide get after it in Atlanta. Y'all know we ain't missin' that.



Be here or be square punks!

*Here we could swerve into a lengthy discussion about the towering genius of Mark E Smith and the Mighty Fall but, we probably shouldn't. We should point to No Wave, strains of Hip Hop, and the Slackers of the author's youth as other examples...and so we have.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

"Green is Behind the Defense!"

One of the greatest moments in Gator Football. The fact that it had as much to do with spite as achievement tells you all you need to know about today's game. The previous season had ended with the Gators destroying Florida State in the Sugar Bowl for their first National Championship...yet, I think this games has a stronger hold on the Gator imagination than the championship game.

In 1997, the Seminoles were ranked #1 in the nation. All they had to do was beat the Gators and they'd be in the National Championship game. The season had been a huge disappointment for the Gators. Not only had they lost to an unranked LSU team but, for first and only time during Steve Spurrier's tenure, they had lost to Georgia.

Spoiling the hated Seminoles' season was about all they had left....

It was my last night in Germany. I watched the game at my buddy's apartment in Patrick Henry Village. When Thomas intercepted the ball...I jumped on the floor and started breakdancing.  One of the greatest games ever. I still get goosebumps every time, and it's a been a lotta times since 1997, I hear Sean McDonough yell..."Green is behind the defense!"

Still, my favorite moment of the clip is watching the FSU players cry on the sideline.

They're playin' again today...the Gators still have an outside chance at the National Championship but, I couldn't care less about that right now.

Just beat the ****** Seminoles.

Any minute now.

Not Nuremburg...just idiot Seminole fans.

3rd and 2


Move the chains again.


Stalled out at the end but they moved the ball pretty good.

Gators 3 - F$U 0

Old school in the orange britches...beat 'em like it's the 80's.

Come on Defense.

Now we're cookin'...


Right now it looks very much like an SEC team playing the acc.

Keep it rollin'.

Beat 'em DOWN!!!

This is the only game on the schedule that still makes me sick to my stomach no matter what...this year I've got a four year old, who's obviously feeding of my excitement, jumping all over me.

Bad call...dadgummit.

How do you mess that up.

Back on offense.

End of the first quarter...Gotta be happy. The Gators are moving the ball.

Gators 3 - F$U 0

That was just freaking sloppy.

Stuffed like a turkey's a@@! Gator's ball.

Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful.

That's a catch fools.

BULL S***! Anyway...

Gators 6 - F$U 0


First and Goal!!!!


Gators 13 - F$U 0

Todd Blackledge "FSU is finding out what it's like to play an SEC team."


Another sloppy series. This game should be 35 to nothin' by now.

Stop bein' goofy y'all...yer throwin' away points morons.

Come on y'all don't let 'em move the ball here.

This is some typical Gator crap right here...they gonna let 'em get a field goal.


Idiotic five end the half.

End of half

Gators 13 - F$U 3

Here we go...the two quarters that matter.


Gator Ball.

They have got to watch these stupid penalties.

About all they're doin' on offense now is burnin' clock.


They've dug themselves a hole now.

3rd and goal...stop 'em b***es.

Timeout f$u...the Gators have done there best over the last 10 minutes to piss away everything they've done.

Unbelievable...flippin' Gators.

Gators 13 - f$u 10

All the momentum that they'd built up is gone. Let's see how they handle it.

There you go. F$U ball.

Gators 13 - f$u 17.

A clinic on how to piss away a game. I'm going to throw up now.

Good way to start climbing back but, I swear I thought that was gonna be picked off.

3rd and a mile...the kraut got to him again.

They look like the keystone cops now.

It's about to get stupid out of

A penalty of f$u...that's a novelty.

Great play...y'all come on. Do something.

Gators 13 - f$u 20.

It's still a one possession game but, the Gators with the ball has been an anti-possession.


REED....R. E. E. D. 23 yard run  to end the 3rd quarter.  15 minutes to go.

Gators 13 - f$u 20.

I just want to vomit.  Just so y'all know.

It's like the specialize in wasted opportunities.

Gators 16 - f$u 20.

They have got to get the field possession under control here.

Tackle first...worry about a damn turnover second.

Gator Ball!!!!  COme on Gators GET UP AND GO!!!


Gators 23 - f$u 20.

Poor Emanual probably won't know where he is until wednesday sometime.

Good stop.  Come on y'all. Take that  ball and shove it down the field.

Still wanting to get sick.

What a return...y'all come on. Just seven more points.


Gators 30 - f$u 20

Come on Defense...let's put this thing away.

Y'all put this thing away.

Where's the sick bag...they're lettin' down the field again.


4th and 26!! Do not let them convert this.

Gator Ball!  We are 4 minutes from gettin' down like Cooter Brown.


They toyin' with 'em now.

Under 3 minutes.....

Gators 37 - f$u 20!!!!!

Garbage touchdown for f$u as the clock hits 0:00


Put it in the BOOKS!

Gators 37 - f$u 26

The Party Never Stops..

If you watch the clip...listen to the sound of the hit during full speed. Sweetest sound in the world.

HaHahahahahaa hahhahahahhah

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Florida Gators - Georgia Bulldogs.

I thought about settin' the scene...Why?

The only other person that reads these is Allan....three days after they've been posted.



It's Florida - Georgia! What more do you need to know?
2:24 We start with the usual problem...I can't remember the last time on of the Mississippi teams weren't playing in the JP game ahead of Florida - Georgia. The game is supposed to start in 7 minutes and Ole Miss - Arkansas just entered the fourth quarter.
I'll have to find the game online. They have got to move those JP games to another network.

2:36 Got it on CBS Online.

Nice recovery though.

Settle down pooch...that ball hit the ground.


Gator Chomp by'll pay for that b****!

Florida 0 - Georgia 7

Still watching'll be second quarter before the Ole Miss game and post-game is over.

Geez..get it together.


You can't grab the facemask...or the collar of the shoulder pads...but you can tackle somebody by the neck.

Typical Georgia runnin' their mouths....non stop.

Keep backin' em up.

They've got to get settled down.

Georgia's not really alble to run the ball so far.


Do something with it for the love of cupcakes.

Is it really OK to drag people down by the neck like that?

One of the sloppiest quarters of football I've ever seen.

Florida 0 - Georgia 7


Hammer 'em with Reed and Burton.

Now we're movin.

Let 'em keep comin'...just bust 'em open with screens.

That was an ugly throw.

Alright then.

Gators 3 - Bulldogs 7


Come Gators...Take the Lead.

He was more open than I was...Good L*****!

Gators 6 - Bulldogs 7


Joook...Joook.  Get 'em y'all.

Look out now...unless there's a dissaster they can at least take the lead with a fg.

Awwwww Damn Dawg...don't look around. You did it.

First and goal.


Half Time.

Florida 6 - Georgia 7

Here we go.

Obviously the Refs intend to make themselves a part of the game.  That is UTTER BULL SH*T!

Anybody got a flag to throw...6 and out for the Dawgs.

First downs matter in a game like this...basically the ridiculous penalty has finally been nullified.

I don't know what to say...I just don't.

Florida 6 - Georgia 10

Stop kiddin' yerself Dawgs.

Hope that kids alright.

Five turnovers from Florida today...more than they've had all year combined.


Bout time. If they're gonna throw one for talking...and not for punching. Back their smelly a%%es up.

Of course there's a Florida penalty to off set it.

They needed that.

End of 3rd Quarter.

Gators 6 - Bulldogs 10.  Florida with the ball mid-fieldish.

Florida has got to do something on Defense here....a defensive touchdown is what they need.

Back it up.

Set up the return.

This is about as good as it's gonna get. They've got the ball on the 45. They've had one good drive today. It's time for another.

Finally sprung the trap...great run by Driskle.

Well...there's a 51 yarder by Sturgis.

Gators 9 - Bulldogs 10.  I could eat a light bulb right now.


There you go. Refs give 'em life....and here they go. Right down the field.

Of course...Purifoy makes a great play. Let's review it. What bull s***! This is the ugliest crap I've ever seen.

Was there any doubt it would be overturned?

There you go....cruse along on these piss-ant, mealy mouthed, ticky tack calls.

Gators 9 - Georgia 17

This is it and to this point it doesn't look good. The last time I remember them winning a game that felt like this was South Carolina 06.

First Down!

Great catch by Reed.

Great run by Gillislee.

First down Driskle.


That's it.

Gators 9 - Bulldogs 17.

Here's how it ended...On the verge of being able to tie the ball game, the best player on the team is trying to make it happen...

Dissaster STRIKES!

This is so typical of the way things used to be with Georgia...before Spurrier.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Third Saturday in October?

The Third Saturday in October has always meant one thing... Alabama - Tennessee .

Below, is a classic scene from the series.

It's a great illustration of how the stoppages, the clock and the crowd work in football. This is it. The clock is down to 4 seconds...there won't be another play. If Tennessee makes it they win. If they don't they lose.

Not only is this one of the more bitter rivalries in the SEC but, at this point Alabama was undefeated and ranked number one in the country. Because of the way college football is structured one loss puts your entire season in serious jepordy...if, that is, you intend to play for a National Championship. Alabama plays for National Championships and in 2009 they hadn't won one since 1992.

Everything was on the line as Lincoln lined up for the kick.*

There's that damn cheer again.

Gary Danielson references the 2006 Florida - South Carolina game. Same situation, except the Gators had already lost one game and their National title hopes were barely alive.

We were the clip below, we're sitting in the far upper left hand side of the field.

Warning: The clip below is loud...and then ear shattering.

Greatest game I've ever been to and like Alabama in 2009 the Gators went on to demolish Ohio State in the 2006 National Championship game.

Today, South Carolina comes to The Swamp. Against every pre-season prediction the Gators are undefeated and two games away from securing a spot in the SEC Championship...and beyond. South Carolina is also undefeated in the SEC East (they lost a heart breaker at LSU last week).

Of course, the The Greatest Gator of Them All will be coaching the Gamecocks....never easy to see. Never easy to root against The Ole Ball Coach but, he's gotta go down today.

*Apologies to Mrs. Ronnie who is a Tennessee fan.

ON YOUR A$$$$$$$$!!!!! Gator ball on the 3 yard line.

TOUUUUUUUUUUUUCHDOWN GATORS! Four plays into the game...

Gators 7 - Gamecocks 0


That's right...uncatchable.

That is the most ridiculous call I've ever seen.

Won't matter because Shaw is running for his life and the Gamecocks are gettin' stoned at the line.

Is this football or soccer???? He barely touched him...if at all.  WT...

That was just a good call...freakin' Ball Coach.

They'd be better off tryin' to teleport into the endzone than trying to get the edge on this defense.

Kick your field goal...Cocks.

Gators 7 - Gamecocks 3...half the necessary yards due to unnecessary, ridiculous even, penalties.

Alright! Alright...short field. Do something with it.

Have mercy!!!

Christy is working on another MVP.

Yo turn to punt...from your own endzone!

One of the greatest catches I've seen all year erased by an idiotic call...another one.

This is the absolute worst officiating I've seen all season. End of 1st quarter..

Gators 7 - Gamecocks 3

Another pure SEC defensive struggle.

There goes Lattimore.

Artful coverage from Saunders.


YES.  As long as Burton is anywhere on the field you are not safe Gamecocks.


Gators 14 - Gamecocks 3

About six inches from making it 21.

Gators 21 - Gamecocks 3!  How 'Bout Them Gators!

They got these boys on the run right now.

Don't let 'em drag this out y'all.

Another terrible call wipes out a big play.

Great kick but, it's another gift from the refs.


Gators 21 - Gamecocks 6

Back at it.

Slow but steady.

Not so slow on that one...get 'em Patton.

Clowney is a beast.

Burton...Burton....he's too big for arm tackles Cocks.  First DOWN!


Way to stink that up.

Gators 27 - Gamecocks 8 (two points on the blocked extra point).

Still that was a great drive and a gorgeous play for the touchdown.

Have y'all noticed something...or the predictable absence of something...someone.

HAHSHAHAHAHAHH...they clowin on you now Cocks.

Gators 30 - Gamecocks 8.

Fowler...a true freshman just embarassed your tackle and...smoked yo a****!


Another short field for the Gators.

ANOTHER TOUCHDOWN. They are hammering South Carolina!!!

Gators 37 - Gamecocks 8

Everybody from Muschamp to the Cokecola vendors is saying the Gators aren't back til they win a championship and there is something to that but, let's not be coy....the team is a Monster!

Start of the 4th...

Gators 37 - Gamecocks 8. One more quarter to go.

Gators with the ball again...main thing now is to keep Carolina from scoring. The Gators have only given up 10 points in the fourth quarter all year.

Don't let em score y'all.


Gators 37 - Gamecocks 11

Gators 44 - Gamecocks 11...It's gettin' ugly now.

Interception...Gator Ball.

Put in the books...

Gators 44 - Gamecocks 11.

Saturday, October 6, 2012


Tuesday I was in New Orleans. As usual I was driving around trying to find a place that I'd already been to a million different times. Freaking Mid City.

It did give me the opportunity to hear this exchange between a radio host and a real live, pure bread coonass...

Budreaxbeaux Tibbadeaux..."I kayn...I know whey dey tawk like dey English bu dey nah English,,You know..
Host: Uhh
B.T....You know...whey dey Cadolics and dey Padastans done get along too well.
B.T....Yeeee AWLand...AWLAND...AWLAND...dem people was so nice to me.

Harmless, even charming, on a Tuesday morning, Deebeaux a differnt creature all together on Saturday nights in the Fall when the Byooo Bangles...his Tigahs...take the field. Higher than Cooter Brown...and meaner than a cat box.

Big game today. LSU was picked to win The Conference at the begining of they year and they are undefeated. The Gators have surprised everybody with how they've been able to wear teams down.  They too are undefeated and both teams are ranked in the top 10.

In short, IT'S ON!

I'm ready(not pictured Mexcian Cokecolas, Mallow Cups and pint cans of Boddingtons).

Trivia: Our own Ronnie is a graduate of the Louisiana State University. We might have a thought for Ronnie Jr but, we will be ruthlessly wishing the worst for senior.

Of course, we can't let this pass without playing the most outrageously over-the-top intro video ever made...

Never ever gets old.

Thankfully the game's in Gainesville this year.


Gators are in all Blue...haven't seen that in a while.

Already got a fight.

You got Knocked the.....OUT!

Field Goal?

Gators 0 - LSU 3.

If the Gators keep beatin' on 'em like'll be a good day.

They are scrapin' after every play.

What a catch...great through to the OUTSIDE.

Great hit but not nearly as hard as the celebration...settle down clowns.

Put that in your crawfish boil beeot....!!!!!

All defense.

...and field position. Pure football. 

Another 3 and out for LSU. If this keeps up a blocked kick or a punt return will put the Gators up. 


That's what we been waitin' for....interception Watkins!!!!

Good grief. There are teams in the NFL that don't have defenses this good.

Go Punter.

Shut 'em down.

What was that?

Look out now...the Gators are on the move.



Those were points they just fumbled away.


Punt that ball!

Gillisllee is chimpping away at it...he'll break eventually.

Why Driskle Why???

Great stop at the end. This game should at least be tied.

Gators 0 LSU 6

There you go baby...North and South...North and South.

Right back where we were...field position and defense.


Here comes Gillisillee baby...he's sneaky like that.

There's not gonna be anybody left on LSU's team if this keeps up.

Tack another 15 on it.

Finally using their speed against 'em...come on y'all.




Wait...hold that crap...that looks like a fumble.

Gator BALL.

Gillissillee running WILD!


The Gators are droppin' the hammer like a blacksmith right now.

One quarter to go...the Gators haven't given up a point in the 4th quarter all year.

Gators 7 - LSU 6

Half the distance to the goal.



The Gators are a steamroller right now.

Just one play. They're back on 'em again now.

Nine minutes....which in football times is like an hour.

Gillissillee down hill....that's the headline.

Burn that clock....burn it down.

D####! 5:43 til victory.

In com pleeeetion.  Punt y'all...Punt.


4th and 15....4th DOWN and 15!

Beautiful Punt LSU...beautiful punt.

1:42 y'all....1 minute and 42 seconds. First down Gators.


:20...LSU has 20 seconds to score and pick up two point conversion.

:09...9 seconds



A couple of quotes

Florida Gator Head Coach Will Muschamp: 
''That was typical 1980 SEC right there today,'' Muschamp said. ''It was a physical, physical match. ... That's the difference between playing in this league and these other leagues you watch on TV. I know you guys like all these points being scored, but the quarterback won't make it through the season in our league.''

Defensive End Dominique Easley:
''Them boys was huffing and puffing,'' Easley said. ''I was looking in people's eyes and they were scared. That's what we wanted. We wanted to take somebody's will. We like to take people's will, not just win the game. Make them remember this night.''

...and it's a wrap.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

After the Millionth Time You'll Hate It Too

FSU brings 5,000 tubas to every away game...allowing each player to take the lead for the song at least one time. With Tennessee it's Rocy Top...non stop Rocky Top.

Datline: Knoxville Tennessee, Neyland Stadium

Home of the University of Tennessee Volunteers. The stadium seats well over 100,000 and has it's own navy.

Tonight it will be the scene of a crime as the Florida Gators rob Tennessee of all hope for a meaningful season.

Looks like they'll need to be more adjustments this weekend.

Stop Cryin' and punt the ball.

Gators 7 - Vols 0 
I am likely to have more rushing yards than Tennessee.
 IDIOT Umpire. I guess it's not enough to screw up the game with awful they want to get in on the action.
D&*^% IT!
Same fat a$$ that blocked the last Gator makes an atrocious pass interferance call.
Gators 7 - Vols 7. You still haven't rushed for positive yardage Vols.
BULL -----!
Could that play have developed any more slowly?
Darth Vader wears Alabama underoos. Alabama 58 - Arkansas...still trying to find their way to the stadium.
Cannin' some heat.
Keep 'em comin' morons.
B.S. penalty but I'm having a hard time giving a damn right now.
 This is how it's done Florida.
This is how the Gators used to do it....when they were truly representative of actual Floridians. Like my family and my ancestors who fought lincoln and his thugs while they were burning Oxford and Tuscaloosa. 
Touchdown Gators...touchdown Burton! 80 yards and a stiff arm.
Gators 20 - Vols 20
Interception by Elam. Time to put the hammer down.
Gillislee for about 50...he's a man.
Even with dampened spirits....WHAT A FREAKING CATCH!!!
Gators 27 - Vols 20
We love it when Tennessee recievers try to run before catching the ball.
We also love it when they cut their routes short of first down yardage.
Put this thing out of reach Gators.
They'd have been better off with a monkey pointing at the play book than they were with that call.
I ask again...has anybody seen the good Doctor tonight.
Gators up two touchdowns now...I'm not hearing Rocky Top for the first time all night.
Gators 34 - Vols 20
Gators 37 - Vols 20...that's 8 in a row.
One last note...I stepped out, barefoot, for a smoke right after the game and my legs were ravaged by misquitos....including on the top of my right foot and right ankle. Pure misery...prolly got the West Nile again.
It's a wrap...

Sorry about the Casio Opera soundtrack...just turn it down.

Friday, September 7, 2012

The Return of Allan.

transfers 106

That title's been sitting in my draft box since last week. He made me a prophet earlier this week by logging on to complain that, seven days into the season, there had been no talk of SEC football on the blog.

In response, my complaint is that there has been no Allan on the blog since January...hardly. Even as The South, which we, both proud sons of the Confederacy, cherish with equal fervor, has taken up so much space here. We've talked of beauty...a philosophical issue that can't help but butt up against perfection, an area in which he has earned the right to be called Doctor...silence. We recounted, with horror, an episode that nearly saw me killed by an exploding Cokecola concern.

To think....he used to care.

transfers 234

So, if we want Allan around....and surely we do...I reckon we better talk about some football.

Tomorrow, the Florida Gators have the pleasure, the honour, of welcoming one of the two new members into the SEC.

Unlike JenniferQ...whose idea of a proper welcome is for the Aggies to be brutalized by every team in The Conference...I wish the Aggies well, after tomorrow.

We'll follow all the action right here.

Change of plans...thanks to the Sister, me and the Big Man have tickets to the Ole Miss - Texas El Paso game tonight. We will be on our way to Oxford while the Gators are pounding Texas A&m.

We could ask Allan to provide play by play but, we tried that in the past and all we got out of that was an irresitable target for Russian bots. I have know idea why but that thing gets about 100 hits a month from Russia and the Ukraine.

For those of you who don't care about SEC football...they'll be flinging telephone poles and tying knots down at the Ag Museum all weekend...Mississippi Celtic Fest.

Arab Strap - The [Last] Big Weekend.

An old favorite..."I thought she had been quite pretty until Matthew informed me she had in fact been a peyg." Hahahahahah

Monday, September 5, 2011

An Off Day Off.

After a nightlong Tropical downpour, the powers been off, the cable and internet's been off, my stomach's off...mainly because I've been doing paper work all evening.

Big goings on this Saturday...Vanderbilt crushed it, The Gators have a football team again...Georgia does not. We have to talk about Auburn's shenanigans (Dr Womm should he choose to participate gets fans have the best taste in music, relatively speaking, and sharing the state with Alabama gives them a perpetually cranky edge)...and LSU,AL-LUH-BAAAMUH, ARKANSAS, ISBW's Gamecocks (we're gonna get to why...I promise) and Mazes baked Mississippi State Bulldogs all looked the part.

Ole Miss? Well...there's only one person that's gonna listen at this point...

Back to my paperwork...and the antacids.

P.S. Y'all did a fine job carrying the load last week...especially you Maze's. You did a great job of demonstrating how bored and sick and tired you are of the SEC.

Monday, August 29, 2011

You Tell Me

I talked with Mazes on the phone this weekend.

In between tales of incompetence on the golf course and a very sad story about how his own two year old son had runaway to live with his grandparents...he tells me all the SEC talk is boring. Keep in mind he called me to ask about two high school teams that were playing on ESPN. He loves and understands the game as well as anybody I know*...but Mazes is a mid-westerner. It would take more time than I'm willing to devote and expertise I don't possess to explain the psychological issues at work when it comes to our friends around the Great Lakes and The SEC.

Besides this post isn't going to be authored by me anyway. Mazes isn't the only "reader" with personal access to me that would rather express his opinions about the blog over the phone instead logging on to post a comment.

So I'm turnin it over to y'all. You tell me what you want to talk about. You can offer your own subject for this post or file formal complaints or tell us what you'd like to hear more of...or just say what's ever on your mind. I'll copy and past your comments into the body of the post. I'm turning it over to y'all.

*Just don't ask him for his expert opinion on any games involving the big ten and The SEC.

Mazes27 said...
Why is all the bowl games played in the South or California. Sick of the sec having home games. Big Ten, has large stadiums also. I know your going to complain about the weather. Its football weather. I would like to see florida. Come to Michigan in January, to play in a bowl game.

natetin said...
When I see SEC I read "Securities and Exchange Commission". One couldn't imagine a more hideously de-fanged, gum-smacking bunch of chicken-s**t stooges dressed in Vulpes' suits (not to be confused with zoot suits, but close). Now that's the kind of description I'd like to hear on Fox News. But may be that's just me, Libra - "the scales".

natetin said...
I've been incredibly busy with this and that, but mainly that, with the occasional excursion into this. So what new from the Vander's locker room? I imagine them sitting around reading Scott Fitzgerald's "Gatsby" while Copland's "Fanfare for the Common Man" plays ominously over the PA system. I've no particular reason for imagining that, it just seems somehow fitting. Probably not this version though:

Speaking, at least in passing, of Fitzgerald, as I was, Hunter S Thompson was a big fan. He used type and type, over and over again, Gatsby, on an old ribbon job, as he held it to be the finest American novel. I mention this because Dr Thompson's first novel has been turned into a film and I, for one, am looking forward to it.

Trailer here:

Adam said...
OK heres a min rant for you. Check this Guardian article out, on spiders.

and my response: I could, I stress COULD, write a bit rant on the fact that its a spider, but y'know, whatever right, ain't hurting anybody giving it a name and all that. However, what really bugs is, this is about where the Guardian is at these days, indeed all supposed credible papers in the UK. I'll just mind my own buisness and continue in ignorance cheers.

Man, sucks that you got robbed! Arseholes, kinda feel a bit violated after someone has been in your house. horrible. :-(

natetin said...
I love The Mail, it's like a comic book for adults with learning difficulties (no really, can't stop checking it out everyday without fail). And they love the Kardashians as if they were the main attraction at the circus freak show - sans the make up and designer get up, the Kardashians would look entirely at home in Fraggle Rock.

Well, I hope they catch your TV & gun rustlers, round em up, wire their eyes open like Malcolm McDowell's character in A Clockwork Orange, secure your Winchester so the barrel sits squarely facing their noggins - so they are able to reach the trigger - while the films of Adam Sandler play, on your flat screen TV pressed to their faces, on continuous loop till either their optic nerves pull their eyes balls back through their skulls or their fingers decides their head needs to kiss the bullet ... it doesn't need to be Sandler ... Kardashians ... Geraldo ... Ricki Lake ... Jersey Shore ... Who's The Boss? repeat. Pick your own bête noire to fulfil your revenge fantasy. I'm sticking with Adam Sandler, though, I know it may be controversial, but Jerry Seinfeld come a close second for me.

Adam said...
Whilst we are on tangents, they now have a new UK version of Jersey shore, called Geordie Shore. Much to the disgust of my northumbrian good lady. In a way, its a good thing we didn't renew our TV license this year, as not only have we found ourselves with more time to do stuff we enjoy more, and its has saved us £145 quid, we also get to miss the existence of this sort of shit, and the dull, pointless, hollow vessels that claw to get themselves on it, and push their own unique brand of feral morality, fed with turkey twixlers, scented with paco raban, dressed in designer fashions. Decadence and dreamy aftershave. I think I need to go write another song to get this off my chest :D