"Where you takin' that box?"
"To the dumpster."
"Can I have it?"
No, of course, you can't have it. Every time I take a box to the dumpster it gives me a new Hummel Figure for my collection.
"Sure."
"This is a really great box. I've gotta get my office organized and this box is perfect."
...
"What you got goin' today?"
"Yer lookin' at it....probably burn a cigarette." I didn't even raise my eyes from the computer screen, which at that moment was blank. A question like that is necessarily preceded by a series of unpleasant thoughts..."I want to accomplish X. X is a really big task. I need help with all that work. I wonder what Erik's doing."
"I think I'm gonna jump on that freezer...get it straightened out. Try to get some organization in there."
"It is a mess back there."
...
"What's happenin' man...what's really goin' on."
He took a long drag...sighed through the smoke..."Just tryin' to cross reference some products with users...tryin' to maximize my time so I'm not drivin' all over creation this year."
...
These people are always trying to get organized. They're constantly trying because they always fail...and I'm supposed to be the one that's crazy.
First of all it's unhealthy. At some point you gotta accept the world for what it is. Maybe the world is trying to organize you. Relax, accept it...take comfort in the fact that you will never express a thought so dreadful as.."That's a really great cardboard box."
Secondly, people that are actually doing their job, don't have time for that crap. My job is to walk into a kitchen...smile, crack some jokes, and wink on the way out...and I am very good at my job. People that talk in meetings, fill out reports, and organize are people that want you to think they're working. That's a Universal rule.
"Honey can you get that trash out?"
"Sugar men who have time to take out the trash...are men who aren't working hard enough at being a Father and Husband."
See?
My one and only New Year's Resolution...be an even better employee and an even better Father and Husband.
