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Friday, June 17, 2011

Patriotism and Golf

I'm busy today at work...watching a live stream of the U.S. Open.

In the spirit of our bantering Fridays, I just hollered across the hall to ask my co-worker who was gonna win...

"Hopefully an American."

Sigh..."Yeah it's not lookin' too good for that right now."

"I know..Europeans are kickin' our butts."

Whoa...wait a minute now..."OUR" butts?

First of all, though I genuinely like my co-worker...he's a good fella...he and me are not a we. He's got family down here, been here for a while but unlike some who come down here to live, leaving behind their bad habits*, he's still got some that are decidedly northernish (and some that are just bizarre and hilarious).

Don't get me wrong. He's a buddy of mine but, I had good friends in Germany. Don't make me German. Flimsy Cups has more British readers than North Americans...don't make us British. When I finally get that lime-green with orange racing stripe, hard top MGB GT from my old neighbor...I won't be English. I will, thank God, still be the same Cracker I've always been.

Affinity does not equate to oneness.

UPDATE: He's now watching it too...and doing a mocking English accent whenever a non-American comes up on the screen...Lord have mercy. Is it dinner yet?

Secondly, is there really a place for patriotism in golf? I have no emotional or intellectual problem with patriotism...the gaudier the better. I just don't really feel it for the U.S. Should Dixie ever regain it's independence...I'll make you cross-eyed with Battle Flags around here. And if a Good'un like Bubba Watson get's close on Sunday I'll be all over it. Still, it's golf. It's the Form of individuality disguised as a sport. Aside from Bubba and Boo, I'm rootin' for Phil...and he's from California. I'd love for Rory to get the taste of Augusta out of his mouth or, for Luke Donald to live up to his ranking.

If Mazes ever finally qualifies...I'll be his biggest fan. Begging to be on the bag...and we all know where he's from. :)

That's why I can't stand the Davis Cup (should be Ryder Cup...that's how much I care) thing that's played between Europe and the US every year. There's just something smelly (almost reddish) about turning golf into a team sport. I'm supposed to root against one of my favorite golfers of all time like Nick Faldo just because he's playing against some fella from New Jersey? Kiss my grits!

Team sports are different...team sports and patriotism go hand and hand. A lot of our friends in "the rest of the country" are irritated and confused by, generally speaking,** our fanaticism for the SEC as a whole...not just our own teams. The SEC is a Southern Institution and it's one of the few outlets for Southern Patriotism.

If you want to USA USA during an international basketball tournament...I get that but, please leave it out of my Golf.


*Somewhat ironically...they are usually referred to as Damn Yankees. Yankees that come down and never go back...ironic because these are usually the ones that make themselves at home and blend right in.

**The Sister actually rooted for michigan state against Alabama this year...her hatred of the Crimson Tide has obviously caused some mental damage.

11 comments:

  1. Drop the paint-brush, Picasso, and keep'em comin' just like this one. (And may Rory get his today...I'll be prayin' for him.)

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  2. This is the thanks I get after naming a work after you?


    We do get to kinda have it both ways...every Good'un in the top 10 has a British surname. McIlroy...maybe McElroy...is as common as pine cones around here. (I've got some pictures from the Confederate cemetery in McComb...every conceivable combination of Mc _____ you could imagine and some that are just mindboggling) Pretty sure I've never met a Garragus or Kuchar.

    You just wait til Christmas buddy...working feverishly on your present between posts.

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  3. That bobble-head Johnny Miller keeps talking about tiny Northern Ireland....like it's Togo or something.

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  4. I'd just like to thank Mr. McIlroy for making me look like an idiot by waving the Northern Ireland flag around :).

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  5. here's a question, Artist:

    is it just golf that defies the patriotic instinct for you, or are there other sports that do the same? i'm thinking of boxing or wrestling, maybe (or PING-PONG, where it is said that Americans get it handed to them by folks who don't even know how to hold the paddle correctly!). after all, golf isn't the only sport where teams aren't involved.

    just curious what you think.

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  6. Critic:

    I guess one could apply the same principal to other individual sports. I'm sure a lot of folks outside the US loved Ali.

    I will say this...Golf stands apart from other non-team sports in that every "play" is a part of your final outcome. Unlike your favorite sport Ping Pong where you can over come a bad volley or two...every missed stroke in Golf is recorded for all posterity...even if you win in the end. Bowling is close I suppose...but it's the same task over and over again.

    Every round of Golf is a unique journey...:soundofgurglingbongwaterandatriangle:

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  7. Howdy,
    I like my sports without patriotism, but my Sport is F1, so for the most part its a bit like golf, nationality is a secondary aspect. However, last year we had two strong British drivers, in a British Team (hey they are nearly all UK based anyway) and being honest it didn't hurt.

    Still, we didn't win, but no biggie. I think its only really the Italians, and fairweather F1 fans (2 distinct groups there- not lumping them together) that care about nationality too much.

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  8. Hey Hey,

    I don't think I'm being entirely honest here...either with y'all or myself.

    Let's look at my International list of favorite golfers.

    There's Phil and there's Mazes that stand out...everybody else is either a Briton or a Southerner.

    I think I should just face it...I like more than a few people around here take the view that there are only two groups of people in Western Culture worthy of respect...God's people (Southerners) and those that were necessary for our Creation...the British and Irish.

    And if Southern golfers were presented as being from Dixie...let's face it I'd be a lot worse than my co-worker.

    I'm a cliche and a hypocrite...what are you gonna do.

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  9. I'm just glad i made the top two. I put a lot of work in throwing clubs and cussing out on the course to break into the top two golfers. Don't worry I'm just holding back till the senior tour. Hell Tiger don't have it in him any more. Phil will way about 350 pounds by that point. Hell with you on the bag I'm set for 2027. USA USA USA

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  10. Well Tiger has an Australian on the bag...so I guess there's no reason you couldn't have a foreign caddy too.

    I guess my real job to keep you from committing felonies on the course.

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