Don't act like y'all don't know where we be neither.



Subscribe in a reader

Monday, January 9, 2012

Now it starts! Football

Kickoff!

Picked up right where we left off...ferocious defense.

Alright, after an insane set of circumstances that started Thursday...I am free and clear to watch Alabama on this third and goal.

Nope.

Prediction...17 - 10 LSU.

Again..right where we left off...Alabama 3 - LSu 0.

Every 1st down LSU gets is a threat to Alabama...they need to make hey before LSU settles down.

One step forward two steps back...Mosely barely got on field and gets a tackle for a lose.

The hair on the back of my neck was standing up for the first two series...can you imagine what it's like for them. It's amazing they get a snap off.

Baker was trying to kill him.

There's Maze.

Look for pick six

What a catch...Norwood. Outrageous.

End of the 1st. Alabama 3 - LSU 0.

Advantage to Bama. They look settled. LSU does not...at least on offense.

One bad pass...it'll show. Tight as it gets.

Could that have been any closer...oh my.

I don't know if Underwood got that or not.

1st down..here's Richardson...OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Baker SMOKED his ****!!!

Hanks won't know who won the game for another day or two.

Tight coverage...pass interferance...tomato/tomato.

BLOCKED!!!

Bama needs to score every chance they get...this isn't gonna last.

McCarron's 9 of 15 for 92 yards but, they've only got 3 points and he missed one of their best shots...just one flippin play might do them in.

Hanks got it. They need a touchdown here if they're gonna make a mark. Hanks got blasted again but, he hung on.

Richardson makes his first bit of noise. First down.

There's a grown man.

Now there's a grown man on the bench? Lacey's great but why is Richardson on the bench.

STONED.

Shelly again...got it.

Here's a tidbit for a commercial break...I stood behind the Alabama bench at the Mississippi State game. Alabama's cheerleaders are the tiniest properly proportioned (meaning not little people) human beings I've ever seen...a couple of them have to be right at 4' tall.

Alabam 6 - LSU 0

LSU's still only one play away.

Beckham was covered but an outside throw would have been better than that crap.

Still lost. I wonder what's going through Lee's mind.

Look out now.

That Tight-End Williams...is a GIGANTIC human being.

Shelly gets another. That's Half.

Alabama 9 - LSU 0.

It's weird to see a Les Miles team so tight like that but, they are on the verge of being named the greatest team to ever play...they better use the break to get Stella on the phone.
____________________________________________________
HALFTIME

While we've got a break...here's a glimpse into the minds of SEC football fans.

The clip you're watching is of a high school senior announcing where he is going to play college football. The woman sitting next to him is his MOTHER ...



His mother.

As a side not...for those of you not from around here...she has a quintessential south Louisiana accent.


What's up with this clown?

Shank...just a little left my ***/ Shank...Come on number 12...Short.

More hooks than a tackle box. He did win a car.

Enough of this nonsense.
_____________________________________

Heartbreak for Maze...balling on sideline because he can't get back in game.

Third Quarter.

Bama's got the ball...again.

Hanks again...Hanks with a block...Bell down the sideline. Bama back in red zone.

Alabama 12 - LSU 0. Another field goal.

Only 10 more field goals and maybe they can put it away.

LSU's taking the kick off. Here we go.

Beckham was wide flippin open.

Beckham got that one.

Upshaw's maybe the best in the country Kirk? Please...who's better?

I didn't see a fair catch signal. WT...?

Is wagging an alligator arm out..barely...really a fair catch signal??

McCarron to Norwood (hey Mississippi)...for 25. Wow.

3rd and long...I feel the interception coming.

Watch out now...here comes number 7.

Kirkpatrick blew that one.

Jefferson is a mess. They may have to call Lee off the bench. Would that be the height of drama or what...all his long series of woes have been because of Alabama. In a last ditch effort LSU brings him in...to save the day facing his old nemisis.

Mosely's down...but, Bama's starting on LSU's 30.

It's funny watching future NFL players bouncing off of Richardson.

If Shelley hits this one it gets interesting...bringing ...NEVERMIND. Wide Right.

Here comes Jefferson again...the coonasses are getting restless. Watch for flying Wild Turkey.

SMOTHERED like a hashbrown.

Did you see that shiggity?

Good ***...LACEY!

Ohhhhh Ohhh Oh....Reed saved 'em on that one.

This may be it...they gotta stop 'em.

Shelley again.

Now there's trouble...

Alabama 15 - LSU 0. Now we'er lookin' at a two point conversion somewhere along the line for LSU.

Well it's a completion...4th Quarter.

Alabama 15 - LSU 0. Jordan Jefferson still quarterbacking for LSU.

LSU's won two national championships in that building. Surely Miles knows they sell liquor there.

1st down LSU.

Why would anybody...the freakin' Saints even...try to get the edge on this defense.

Why would you try to run that ball right at Gentry???

Defense is gonna have to score...this is the downside of being RocknRoll...you need something to get you going. LSU doesn't even look like they're at a football game right now.

There's a spark...busted McCarron's ***. Now the punt.

Kirkpatrick gets a little pay back.

First down...Hilliard.

Look out now.

Is Jefferson a moron?

I think the answer is yes.

They might as well go for it.

Hightower!!!

Beerburger's best line might be the one line...Mauling. This is the best defense that's ever played the game. As bad as we've been clowning on Jefferson...he's not really had a lot of options. Landry was wide open...Gentry gets a piece of his arm. This is ridiculous.

I guess you just don't mess with Alabama when a National Championship is on the line. By any standard (14 or 9) if they win tonight nobody will have more...except for maybe my Elis.

There's the bow...Trent Richardson ******es! Call it Allan.

LSU fans pouring out...they do not hang around for this. I just can't believe how dead LSU has looked. You can't blame the defense...after a while you just get beat down but, they've seemed wound up all night.

Alabama's still playing like it's the first quarter. They're gonna score again...they don't want any doubt...in anybody's mind.

There's the beerburger we all know..."Is this the coach that can make Alabama fans forget about The Bear?" What an idiot.

Now he's taking it on himself to dedicate the game to the "folks in Tuscaloosa." Have another beer brent...you windbag.

D*** Alabama....D****!

ALABAMA 21 - LSU 0

Here it comes..."Hey Tigers. Hey Tigers....

They did just beat the hell out of 'em.

47 comments:

  1. whew! sorry i'm late...can't eat ribs and type. (oh okay, i _can_, but wren won't let me on her computer)

    alright, bart, what's your prediction for tonight? i wanna' score too!

    me: alabama 20 / lsu 18

    ReplyDelete
  2. dang! maze out? who besides smelley can catch the ball?!?

    well, at least bama can make a short field goal.

    ReplyDelete
  3. They're in trouble without him.

    I barely got here in time. I'm on the Coast...had no idea I was traveling until this morning.

    I had more Oysters tonight...and Gumbo.

    ReplyDelete
  4. on the coast??!? not at home for The Game? i'm sorry to hear it, man.

    i had some sweet, sweet ribs...though not as sweet as the Bartlam Recipe I remember so well...next time i'm up, i expect RIBS from you and chili from the Beautiful Missus!!!

    bama's driving...

    ReplyDelete
  5. holy cow...by a hair's breadth!

    sweet call, saban!

    ReplyDelete
  6. We aim to please...those damn ribs would be good about right now.

    We have a thing at a certain military base tomorrow and the boss man needed some help with it. Funny thing is...he may not even get on base. I've done this thing a few times...he has no idea what a hassle he's in for tomorrow morning. If they have to do a background check...oh man. It would be hilarious except I'll be left to do it all by myself.

    ReplyDelete
  7. same as last time...bama drives, but comes up empty. it's sad, really. or a real testament to lsu's red zone D.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I think LSU is just that sorta team. I don't think they care how many yards they give up between the 20's. The best Gator defense has been like that.

    ReplyDelete
  9. richardson is The Man.

    lacey is no boy, however.

    ReplyDelete
  10. oh no...not another kick...whew!

    they can't keep relying on 3 points. lsu will calm down on offense soon enough.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Nope. They need a touchdown somewhere.

    ReplyDelete
  12. that lsu punter...holy good gravy he can boot it!

    ReplyDelete
  13. He's that Australian kid Wing.

    He's the one that had a touchdown called back for taunting in the Florida game.

    He is lights out.

    ReplyDelete
  14. oh, please don't let that excellent drive be for nought...

    ReplyDelete
  15. now that it's half, let's talk GATORS!

    okay, former Gators...now don't get me wrong: i've never been accused of saying that Tebow would be Joe Montana. but when he beat my buddy's Steelers yesterday, said buddy emailed me a one-liner: "it's official - tebow is just magical."

    i'm always happy to see former Gators do well. but it's just amazing to me how much some folks want to see that guy fail. i hope he keeps putting it to folks like merrill hoge, and keeps smiling while he does it!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I usually don't follow 'em too hard after they leave. I want them all to do well...but, it is hilarious watching this thing play out.

    What I don't understand is why people would ever completely sell on him. That is stupid.

    Damn...did you just see the "You're Watching Number Six" commercial. Put that in your pipe....

    ReplyDelete
  17. best commercial of the year!

    [though i'd be lying if i said i wasn't impressed with the Catholic Church commercial...talk about trying to sell something of IMPORTANCE!]

    ReplyDelete
  18. bama's offense is FIRED UP!

    ReplyDelete
  19. will they stall...again?

    ReplyDelete
  20. How does McClewain end up going to Colorado State?

    Ole Miss????

    ReplyDelete
  21. i was surprised by that too...i was _really_ hoping ole miss would hire kirby smart. but we get HUH? freeze. oh well, maybe he's a diamond in the rough. [who will ultimately screw us, a la tuberville!]

    ReplyDelete
  22. bama's D and special teams are absolutely SWARMING tonight.

    ReplyDelete
  23. did LSU just get a first down?!?

    ReplyDelete
  24. hightower and upshaw are beasts.

    kirkpatrick and barron are out of this world DBs.

    how can you leave upshaw unblocked?!?

    ReplyDelete
  25. They play like a the tide...unstoppable.

    ReplyDelete
  26. this game is going by FAST.

    ReplyDelete
  27. i think you're right. lee will be coming in before long. jefferson looks like a blind duck in a white out.

    ReplyDelete
  28. It's like he's never played the position before.

    ReplyDelete
  29. what happens in #4? more of the same?

    ReplyDelete
  30. I don't know. It's the same thing over and over again from LSU.

    ReplyDelete
  31. gracious, brent has made the line of the game:

    "honey badger picks it up...dangerously. HONEY BADGER FEARS NO MAN!!!"

    (later)

    "Fear the Tide, Honey Badger!"

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    rare that this moron says anything even remotely memorable. have to prop him on that one!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Even a drunk picks up a tab every now and then.

    ReplyDelete
  33. how do you miss someone THAT wide open?!?

    yes, jefferson is a clown playing the role (badly) of a qb.

    ReplyDelete
  34. i think that might be the ballgame.

    this defense is historic.

    ReplyDelete
  35. whew! talk about Monday Morning QBing...LOTS of people gonna' be wondering why the "Mad Hatter" (a.k.a. The Idiot) didn't replace George Jefferson ("Where you been, Weezie?!?).

    ReplyDelete
  36. He can't put him in now. He drives the length of the field...scores a touchdown. Can you imagine?

    They're gonna be calling for his head again.

    ReplyDelete
  37. the Grown Man asserts himself. it was just a matter of time.

    but you're right: this defense might be the best to've ever been fielded. led the nation in every major category. (and, notably, played against REAL teams insodoing.) allowed NINE touchdowns ALL year. and just man-handled lsu tonight.

    i can't recall a more dominating unit, that's for sure. hat's off to them.

    ReplyDelete
  38. ooh! there are gonna' be some PISSED OFF coonasses tonight.

    ReplyDelete
  39. yep, you can't pin this on the lsu defense...it's all the fault of the offense. chavis did a fine job with this defense, that's for sure.

    look at saban - raising hell! first penalty for alabama all night! dang, you'd think he was losing by 21!!!

    ReplyDelete
  40. what a dominating defense. that's incredible.

    well, it's over, bro. had a great time. glad to share the game with you!!!

    talk at you soon!

    ReplyDelete
  41. Being British, the above was almost totally meaningless to me, EF, but I know someone who can translate for me - our daughter. Back in high school in the 1980s she was a keen follower of American football and would stay up all night to watch the Fortyniners in the final of the Superbowl!

    ReplyDelete
  42. Welcome ma'am...good to see you here.

    A lot of that up there is jibber jabber outside the immediate context of the game...I've been doing these game posts all season and they are mainly an indulgence between me and Allan.

    Last night was the National Championship in college football between the University of Alabama and Louisiana State University. Alabama clobbered them lastnight.

    That's interesting about your daughter...man the 49ers were good back then. They've got a very good team this year and are playing the New Orleans Saints this weekend in an elimination game.

    Welcome again. Make yourself at home.

    ReplyDelete