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Monday, July 9, 2012

Huh?...WHAT? What the.....


I got the swimmer's ear y'all. Feels like I'm pregnant on the left side of my head...it hurts to chew. Any movement of my outer ear is a lightining strike. I guess I wont be able to give the Carol Burnette tug on my way out the door that all the clients love so much.

Maybe I am pregnant in the head or, maybe I've got one of these molting in there...

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I know we've got at least one lurker who just shut down his computer and crawled under his desk. HA.

It's the annual cicades...not the periodic, red beedy-eyed, noise makers that pop up every 13 years down here. These do a pretty good immitation though. You never heard such persistant racket. Of course, these aren't the actual bugs. They'll shed their skin anywhere they can latch on. I pulled one of these off my tire.

They have to fight with the lightining bugs for space...

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We got more of these in the yard than grass blades right now. Oddly The Boy will help me gather cicada skins but, he won't stay in the whole wide yard if he catches sight of one of these.

"Boy that lightining bug ain't gon' do nothin' to you."

"I think that one...he's trying to do somethin' to me."

They're freakin' lightining bugs man...of all the things to worry about around here you gon' worry about a lightining bug. It's not like it's a butterfly (I hate those things...*&^%$ creepy the way they flitter around like half of a memory).

Maybe he's been dreaming about lightining bugs or maybe it's the fact that he's not takin' naps anymore but, not matter how hard we try to wear him out during the day, he's having trouble going to be lately. This is a new one for us.

Last night he just didn't want to go down...back there cryin' and carryin' on like somebody cancelled his birthday. I went out for a smoke, to catch a break and discovered we had a visitor on the car port. One that I thought the Boy would love to have a look at...so, me and his momma decided to bribe him.

"We wanna show you somethng outside but, then you gotta come back in and go to sleep...no more whinnin."

He agreed...face all puffy. It's amazing what forcing tears will do even to a four year old's skin.

We get out there and I tell him to go around one end of the car while I go around the other...I hadn't passed the bumper when I heard him shriekkkk!

"Mom-MAH!...aghhhh...aghhhh MMOM-MUHHHH!"

He was terrorfied.

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A turtle...a &^%* trutle.

"Why was he stikin' his head out?"

"He goes in his shell to protect himself."

"I hope he goes back in his shell forever...he was tryin' to crawl all over me."

It was the first thing he asked me about this morning. Got gators around here that could bite him in half...snakes that could swell his up bigger than his head and swimmers ear...just don't mention turtles around him.









20 comments:

  1. Awww turtle! And ICK ICK ICK to bugs.

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    1. Even the lightning bugs? They light up at night.

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  2. Funny, gotta love kids!

    and you are right about butterflies. Moths in fancy dress

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    1. This kid will jump into or climb onto anything without hesitation...he only plays tackle football. ...just don't show him a lightning bug or a turtle.

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    2. And butterflies can go right back to you know where.

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    3. I remember about ten years back cycling down an alley created by lots of buddleia bushes (also known as butterfly bushes) and being accompanied by several hundred cabbage whites whirling around - it was like cycling through a shower of white blossom and as near to a mystical experience as I've ever had. I love the things - but I understand how they might creep people out. I remember my boy losing it on a visit to a butterfly house in London (mind you, they were enormous). I'm guessing it's the same feeling I get from Daddy Long-Legs, which, though I'm 6'5" and hefty, make my flesh crawl - I cannot sit in a room where one of those horrible insubstantial, centreless, spindly suckers is faffing around. It's the lack of mass, of definiteness, I think.

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    4. That's exactly the problem for me. I'm not so put off by the bigger ones but, the little yellow round ones that really just flitter...can't stand 'em. Creepy little...

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  3. Oh I think you can predict my reaction to these photos. I love them. The uglier and the weirder, the better. I don't know why.
    I'm sure the Boy could grow to love turtles once he gets the hang of them. I had my first beloved pet tortoise, Timmy, when I was about 6 or 7. I told my mum I was going to marry him one day, and I was quite convinced that it was perfectly possible I would.

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    1. I thought you might approve. I could send you something different everyday.

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  4. Thats definately one for the weird-parsonometer, tell him 'I' meaning the royal we, call them Tortoises, Turtle is reserved for the swimming variety, and Heroes in a Half Shell.

    Either way there is no need to be Terrorfied of Trutles.... sorry &^%* Trutle.

    Them things are proper manky though, no thanks.

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  5. That's the what the...part. He is a swimmer. I've never even really seen one in our neighborhood. There is a good size drainage ditch down the road. I don't think we have any land rovers around here.

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  6. I just want y'all to know how touched I am by everybody's concern that the left side of my head is deteriorating.'

    You all know how much I hate to make everything about me but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate your genuine interest my well being.

    Next to the Woman and the Boy...I'm gonna miss y'all the most.

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    1. The pictures were just too distracting...
      By the time I got my head around the pictures I'd forgotten your opening paragraph and for that I am now most remorseful. I hope very much your ear is now unclogged.
      In future you're just gonna have to lay it on a bit more:-)

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    2. I know when it comes down to it, I don't stand a chance, even with a flesh eating earache, against a wayward turtle and bug skins.

      I know where I stand.

      :)

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  7. Hey man, I used to climb the trees as a kid and get those things down. I was a daredevil bare feet and all. (remembering we have big spiders that live in our trees and I am arachnophobic. The noise those little buggers puts out is amazing.

    Gotta love kids though scared of stuff that's safe fearless with stuff that can kill them.

    Hows the swimmers ear? Im sure its making you miserable, grumpy, and down right mad. Know the feeling

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  8. Y'all have more cicadas than even is don't you?

    My ear's not screeching anymore but it's still clogged up.

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  9. That first picture freaked me the hell out because I'm irrationally afraid that all of maladies are the result of some bite. I think I've heard one too many "a bug laid it's eggs in this innocent bystanders skin" stories. All I'm saying is that you could have swimmers ear, or your brain could be a baby spider breeding ground.

    JUST KIDDING. Mostly. What I'm really saying is that the boy is adorable. And turtles stink and are creepy.

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    1. I don't think I've ever had anything that was so neatly described in a textbook as this earache...otherwise I'd be more concerned.

      The cicada's harmless but if you let one sit on you long enough they have been known to try and split the skin (mistaking it for a branch) in order to begin the egg laying process.

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  10. Can you hear this?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXtPjVILQfA

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    1. I can hear half of it and that half is better than half of anything else I've heard today...except maybe Nothin' But A G Thang.

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