Don't act like y'all don't know where we be neither.

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Friday, December 7, 2012

Caught Between a Moron and a Narcissist

Being the selfless employee that I am...I was out late last night. I didn't get home from the Coast 'til around 8 o'clock. Always thinking of the company. Rarely thinking of myself. I did that knowing that I would probably end up having to eat a meal from Mack Donald's...and so I did. That's dedication.

It did afford me the opportunity to drive in the dark. For all the time I spend in the car, most of it is done in sunshine. During the day, Magee is two miles of irritating stop lights and dingy strip night it's like driving up the trunk of a Christmas tree.

The Radio's different too. It's second string, non-league radio. Among other things, this means they'll take any caller they can get. It can be highly entertaining...or, it can be extremely irritating. Callers that are nervous  all the really get out is a lot of heavy breathing. Some don't call for a conversation but to state, and stick to, their point no matter what. The worst of all is when the host misreads what the caller has said. I get so frustrated listening to failed causes a kind of physical irritation in me.

Of course, sometimes it would be better if I didn't understand what was being said. Last night it was the Schnit show...Schhhyt. Some school up north has decided that along with the U.S. National Anthem  and the Pledge of Allegiance, to start the day, the children will also stand for the Black (or African-American) National Anthem. That's dumb...I think the U.S. National Anthem's dumb and they can take that fascists-one-nation-indivisible-my-ass Pledge of Allegiance and shove it where the sun don't shine but, adding the BNA to the mix is just begging for trouble.

For one thing, it sets the "colour-blind" into a tizzy. First it was the host...Schhhnyt, "I worrrk with alat of Ayficayn-Amyricayns...and they are Amyricayns just like me." Then the caller...distraught caller, will call her Bayrb, "I'm ah teaycher and thowse kids I teaych are mostly Ayyfican-Amyricayns but, I don't see a color. Thyyre just Amyricayns to me. Weyyre awwwlll Amyricayns."

No! Schhhhnyt and Bayrb...we are not all Amyyyyyricans. Certainly not in the all consuming glazed over sense that you two mean it. Black folks have had their own history and challenges that have shaped them, as a group, into something distinct. It's called an identity. A concept that is extremely confusing and frustrating for the Amyrricayn.

"Why wouldn't sambody wanna by an Amyricayn Walley?"

"Gosh Beave, I duh know. It's the best darn country that's ever been."

"Gee haveta swear? Now I gatta tell Mom."

Then, there seemed to be some hope. An older Black lady called and tried to explain the significance of the Song...Lift Every Voice and Sing...and why it matters so much to Black Folks.

"Well that's fyyne...if people want to be entertaaayyyned by the sang but..." At that point I turned the radio down so I could rant uninterrupted.

"Entertainment??? You has nothing to do with entertainment you is a part of who they are. It says something profound about their own history...about who they are as Black folks. It's not up to you, and your dumb as... to decide...blahaha bblaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah."

Those that know me, and careful readers of the blog, will know that I am not merely jumping to the defense of Black identity. That this issue is a sensitive one because, I too, have an identity that separates me from the Amyyyricayns. One that I expect to be respected.

Right on cue....I cut the radio back up and there's an older Black gentlemen complaining that he had to sing Dixie as a kid in the South. It must have been Mississippi because he was making thinly veiled complaints about what's left of Confederate symbology at a major state university.

"Oh gayd...OH GAYD...No I can't believe that...OH had to sing Dixie..OH GAYD. That's wrang...that wrang. I wouldn't staynd for that eitha. OH GAYD Dixie? OH GAYD."

Then even worse..."The Sowthh has chaynged alat since those dayys."

Stop right there moron....listen carefully, write it down, take a picture and hide it in a hole, our reverence for our ancestors and the sacrifices they made defending our home from the likes of you and Bayrb has not ceased or diminished one iota. Don't think for one second that  because people like you and Bayrb have managed to stop the Ole Miss band playing From Dixie With Love or, that because some other Amyyricayn has gotten Confederate Battle flags removed from the stadium, that we have budged an inch on the issue of our identity. You and Bayrb can go pound sand then ride of on a tandem bike.

As for the caller....I don't think you or anybody else should have to sing or stand for anything...not Dixie, not God Bless Amyyrica, or Happy Birthday but, NOT everything is about your skin colour! Ole Miss, for instance, has a profound connection to the Confederacy...100%, that's everybody, casualty rate for the Mississippi GrEys from Ole Miss during the war. The town of Oxford was burnt to the ground by Yankees. The importance of the Confederacy at Ole Miss, and throughout The South, is not something that was invented just to spite you.

RRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHH Calgon take me away for the love of kittens...TAKE ME AWAY!!!!

Besides, the most serious, and yet stupid, differences that separate black and white Southerners have their roots in the Occupation...euphemistically called Reconstruction by the Amyricayns.

Everybody was pissin' me off last night :)...and it was with great relief that I pulled into the drive.

Listen to the's gorgeous. If you're gonna stand for something it might as well be Ray Charles.


  1. I get it, I think. It's a little bit like calling me British. Technically true, but I am English, and my identity is as important to me as my fellow Britons leaving in Scotland, Wales and Ireland.

    And do not get me started on calling me European just because our tiny island is part of the EU.

    Your right about Ray to.

    1. These conversations or rants have to be a little confusing for y'all. There are no actual borders here. If you called me an American it wouldn't bother me and of course, technically you'd be correct anyway.

      Over here, on the one hand you have those that are happy to point to a Southern identity but, only as a racist identity. Everything preculiar or novel thing about the Southerner is an expression of racism...a response to blac folks. We have not other distinguishing cultural attributes.

      On the other, there's the 'we're all Americans' crowd...nothing else about our identity matters. We have no other identity.

      You don't have to worry about me calling you a European. That distinction is actually important for The South as well...we've never had a lot of European immigration down here. So, the difference between various Britons ( ;) )and say the Dutch, or Poles, or Italians, etc is not lost on us.

  2. Yes, I too was guessing that it's about me, like Sharron, being English, and in fact not just English, but Lancastrian. It's where I and my ancestors are from, and I still identify with it, even though I have lived in Wales for 40 years now.

    1. Good good...the deeper the better.

      We've got another Lancastrian around here...though he may consider himself a Cumbrian. I know he's a Northerner.

    2. Yeah Northern, I live in Lancaster now, but was born in Kendal. My mum, and her side are from Yorkshire from way back, and my Dad is from Cumbria, as are 3-4 generations on his side, before that they were from the Black Country. Both my folks spent their teens in North Lancashire, and I married a Geordie.

      If you can figure out what that makes me, good luck, but I know its northern, and I know I love Cumbria best. I also know I'm not Southern, have a lot of good mates down there, its got some lovely places, best of luck to them, but its what I love.

      You'll know a Northerner when you meet one, people think we are arsey and confrontational, but what they don't understand is thats just because we are arsey and confrotnational... oh and also racist.

    3. "Arsey and confrontational"...WHat? Somebody said that? Who said that?

      How do such erroneous stereotypes come about...this is just crazy.

      If there was any truth in that then Spliff, with her strong familial ties to Yorkshire, would display traits of arsiness and confrontationalism. :0

    4. Y'all should know...Adam was so bad last week that a friend of mine pulled her gun on him.

    5. And it was pink, most awesome thing I ever saw. You can paint me impressed.

    6. She can use it too.

      Imagine yer a bully boy that's gonna jump this tiny little blonde girl...only to find that yer blood line has been put to an end by a pink pistol.


    7. When actually I'm more bitchy and snide. And racist.

  3. I know you know this but all sorts of distinct and proud regional/ethnic groups get categorized on the basis of their perceived racism. Croats are fascists. Flems are Nazis. Catalans are pinko elitists. It's a question of which people in these sorts of groups are the biggest camera hogs, I suspect.

    1. Unfortunately there's a sinister purpose in it over here. We are the only group left that hasn't been Americanized (not to say that you won't find patriotic people around here..of course you do. Loyalty as a concept is extremely important to us). We have a congenital hatred of authority and centralization.

      We are the last hurdle and charges of racism increasingly involve symbols of the Confederacy and are really attacks on the idea of separate Southern identity.

    2. Well, yes, it's sinister as a characterization everywhere. In the cases I listed the shared "national" histories of Belgium, Spain and Yugoslavia are tenuous to barely existent, and the motives for seperatism practical as well as emotional and identity-based, and the violence involved in attempting to put down seperatist or federalist movements, in the case of Spain and Croatia anyways, not unakin to US history.

      Sinister sure, but far better (or at least more predictable) for the "nation" that is getting seperated from to approach the situation as "they're a bunch of evil fucking racists/fascists/ethnic snobs" instead of allowing themselves to really question the basis of their own nationhood.

    3. Yeah that ^^^^ over and over again. Repeat.

  4. Identity is important to everyone I think, being called something your not, or being forced to swallow something you don't believe in is just cruel (reminds me of communist re-education camps).

    Today me and my kind are openly discriminated against by laws passed down by governments who are supposed to listen. I am proud of the flag that we have but I would never force anyone to pay homage to it. Don't even get me started on paying taxes for services I will never use, all the while the government taking away services that help my community.

    Its part of my identity and I would hate to feel that I must pretend to be something I am not or worse still to hide my true identity.

    As for radio shows causing issues check out whats happened in Aussie land in the last week. Radio does not equal smart.

    1. I love the radio provides a lot of entertainment throughout the week. Sometimes the dumber the better.

      You know during the bright light of the day, its doubtful I'd be ranting like I do at night...unless it was about football.

      Good to see you back around Horse.