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Thursday, March 21, 2013

Why Did Lincoln Invade The South?

Because everybody was high.

That's what I was told yesterday.

We stopped at a curb store in Crystal Springs so my buddy could take an order. While he typed I got up to get coffee. At the urn was an older black man stirring cream into his cup.

"You know that was the worses war of all."


"They said that was more people killed than all them other wars put together."

"Which war?"

"Well," he held out his right hand and pointed to a finger with his left as he explained, "they had the Conferararcy...and the North. It was turrable...they shot mothers, brothers, sisters. They shot up e'erybody. It was right here...they shot up e'everybody here."

"Yes sir. My people fought in the War."

"I ain't sayin' they didn't had cururash...they had cururash but, if people woulda just had a thought...they coulda stopped that war...but, when you smoke that grass you don't curr 'bout nothin'."

Lincoln got his war because everybody was too stoned to stop him.


  1. Did you ask him for references, or to present his study of empirical evidence?

  2., I didn't want to stop him. Two, he voluntarily offered that people think grass is new but "they been smokin that s--- for a long time."

    What is that...anecdotal?

    1. It will have to go in as a: (pers obsv).

      I can get him references for USING 'that shit for a long time' not SMOKING but definately getting battered chemically. It's found in viking burials of very high status, usually female characters, thought to be Volur, the grave of a Volva... quiet that dirty mind. The Oseberg ship burial is one (they found cannabis alongside some Cumin), and there are some at Birka. In prehistory, I believe traces have been found in beakers and such from the bronze age, and prior. Smoking we have no evidence for, physical or literary, but then even if there was, there would be little to survive the test of time, but there is evidence for drinking and eating it, smoking might just be the more modern fad addition to it in the last several hundred years.

    2. I wonder if they were cooking with it...having it there with the Cumin. Mexican Brownies.

      You just need heat to release the thc.

  3. You mean Lincold didn't start the war to deflect attention from the fact that an alien spaceship had crash-landed at Roswell? Who knew!

    I once worked with on BBC TV News with a sports presenter called David Icke. He left the BBC and had a bit of a lifestyle change. He now believes the Royal Family - and many of Britain's political leaders - are in reality alien reptiles disguised as humans. (This, to be fair, would account for a lot of our recent history.) Icke holds events at Wembley Arena, attended by thousands (you can see him in action here:

    In comparison, the idea that the North invaded because they were all fried seems perfectly reasonable.

    Watch out for those pesky Archons!

    1. You worked with that cat? Haha

      It's been on Coast to Coast before and I've seen a documentary.

      I thought he was crazy too...but after our recent elections...well...

  4. Do you think your guy might be related to this lady who was convinced that Mitt Romney was a communist working for the Chinese?:

  5. Gosh. No wonder Americans are so weird about reefer if they blame the Civil War on it.