Saturday, September 24, 2011
This Ain't Kentucky
There's the original. It's almost cinematic...nobody does it better than Vern.
Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer,
Hey ______, Hey ______
We Just Beat the Hell Outta You.
Rammer Jammer, Yellow Hammer,
Give 'em Hell Alabama
that's how you're serenaded when you lose to Alabama. I was there that day. Loosing in Tuscaloosa is a thoroughly unpleasant experience for any of the eleven SEC teams not located in the state of Alabama.
For Auburn...a mere 200 miles away meaning there is no geographic separation, these fanbases live right on top of one another 365 days a year...it's an issue with traumatic potential.
You might say...well, it works both ways, Alabama's barely 200 miles from Auburn isn't it? No...it doesn't work that way. Never mind that Auburn has their own great traditions, or that they're the reigning National and SEC Champs, never mind that that they've had a couple of the greatest players to ever play the game and their own share of characters....Fair or not, nobody measures themselves against Auburn...least of all Alabama.
Did he say 22 SEC Championships...Twenty...TWO??? :grindsteeth:
While 10 teams in the SEC love to hate Alabama*...for Auburn it's a genuine burden. It's not just football. Alabama's old money, doctors and lawyers go to Alabama...farmers go to Auburn. A Cow College...that's what they call it and when Auburn comes to Tuscaloosa they're greeted with Old McDonald Had a Farm. The fact that the Auburn's Engineers and Agriculturalists go on to do just as well if not better than Alabama's Doctors and Lawyers makes the persistence of the stereotype that much more bitter. So bitter that an Auburn victory over Alabama in the Iron Bowl is never exactly sweet...
...more cathartic really.
.
"I LUH YOU CHARLIE"
It's worth pointing out here that they still had an SEC Championship game and a National Championship game left to play.
To be fair, the game causes it's own peculiar psychosis for the Alabama fan who, as it turns out, is not always a doctor or a lawyer.
To be continued...
P.S. The Alabama slot is still open if anybody wants it...they are as elephantine as ever. Ridiculous defense...
*Among the many accomplishments of Steve Spurrier one of the greatest was to finally provide Bear Bryant with something approaching a peer and to put Florida in a position to challenge the dominance of Alabama...which they have more than managed to do for 20 years now.
Friday, September 23, 2011
The Week That Was...Maybe
I'm desperately tryin to get back to Jackson. Took me three hours to get from New Orleans to McComb, Mississippi...birthplace of Bo Diddley and Brittany Spears.
Road WORK!
I'm ready for the last 60 miles...I gotta cokecola, a bag a cold boiled peanuts, and two moon pies for the road. Just try and stop me.
Before I head out for the last leg...here's a quick runndown of the week. A list of events, one from each day, that were more interesting than the dissolution of REM.
Monday...it rained during my drive to Oxford.
Tuesday...I almost died when I inadvertently ate an under cooked piece of gator meat.
Wed...we had some work done on our roof. In the process a horde of misquotes descended on our yard like panties on the stage at a Tom Jones Concert.
Thurs...I heard OOPS I Did It Again on my way to Louisiana.
Fri...I got burned for ten bucks on a book at Crecent City in New Orleans...and then I ate two Moon Pies on the way home.
That's it...as far as I know.
Road WORK!
I'm ready for the last 60 miles...I gotta cokecola, a bag a cold boiled peanuts, and two moon pies for the road. Just try and stop me.
Before I head out for the last leg...here's a quick runndown of the week. A list of events, one from each day, that were more interesting than the dissolution of REM.
Monday...it rained during my drive to Oxford.
Tuesday...I almost died when I inadvertently ate an under cooked piece of gator meat.
Wed...we had some work done on our roof. In the process a horde of misquotes descended on our yard like panties on the stage at a Tom Jones Concert.
Thurs...I heard OOPS I Did It Again on my way to Louisiana.
Fri...I got burned for ten bucks on a book at Crecent City in New Orleans...and then I ate two Moon Pies on the way home.
That's it...as far as I know.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Odd Traveling
I'm on the road a lot. I live in motel rooms half the workin' week and you'd think they were all the same. To an extent they are. Each one has it's own quirks...sockets that don't work unless a light switch is thrown, t.v.s that sit so far back in a cabinet you can't see them from anywhere except the edge of the bed, some have bad abstract paintings...while others have atrociously bad abstract paintings (how do you get that gig...without living in China?), some put out soap in convenient tear-away bags others wrapped in that infuriating wax paper,etc
Still it's mostly the same...generic desk by the tv in a generic cabinet, bed in front of the tv, generic lamps, dirty carpet, beige walls, and a cheap radio alarm clock. That's the landscape.
Other than missing Martha and The Boy, there's no reason by now that I should be as right at home in these places as I am in my own living room.
Sometimes I am...and it seems to have something to do with where I am...like area or town wise. On the Northshore, the Coast, Baton Rouge, Indianola and Tupelo...I take a room over like my names on the mortgage. I put my feet on the desk and settle in for the Law and Order.
Other times, I'm restless as a cat out of doors. The same chair at the same desk that's been perfectly fitted for me in Slidell is, like a pea under the mattress, a 16th of an inch off in Philadelphia and comfort is out of the question. The hamfisted Moralizing of the nypd special victims unit is campy and fun in Ocean Springs...in McComb it's dead boring.
All in what is essentially the same room.
Still it's mostly the same...generic desk by the tv in a generic cabinet, bed in front of the tv, generic lamps, dirty carpet, beige walls, and a cheap radio alarm clock. That's the landscape.
Other than missing Martha and The Boy, there's no reason by now that I should be as right at home in these places as I am in my own living room.
Sometimes I am...and it seems to have something to do with where I am...like area or town wise. On the Northshore, the Coast, Baton Rouge, Indianola and Tupelo...I take a room over like my names on the mortgage. I put my feet on the desk and settle in for the Law and Order.
Other times, I'm restless as a cat out of doors. The same chair at the same desk that's been perfectly fitted for me in Slidell is, like a pea under the mattress, a 16th of an inch off in Philadelphia and comfort is out of the question. The hamfisted Moralizing of the nypd special victims unit is campy and fun in Ocean Springs...in McComb it's dead boring.
All in what is essentially the same room.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Week Two Heartbreaks (With Official Assignments Now...Adam)
Though we haven't done the official announcement South Carolina has been assigned for weeks...as have the Georgia Bulldogs.
ISbW ...you get South Carolina for a cuople of reasons. One their heritage with the conference is...well, non-linear. They are a seamless fit, and they were a member of the old Southern Conference but, their history includes stintsnas a member of the Atlantic Coast Conference and as an Independent.
Two, and mainly, with South Carolina you get the Brian Clough of the SEC, maybe all of American football, Stephen Orr Spurrier...Steve Superior, Darth Visor, The Old Ball Coach, The Greatest Gator of them All. That's right. Not only was he a legendary player at Florida...he came back as head coach and turned them from a mediocre squad of under achievers to a monster that dominated the SEC for a decade. "They can call us arrogant, call me a whiner...whatever. They aren't calling us losers anymore."
In 2001 he left for an I'll advised ego trip to coach in the NFL. Three years later he was back in the SEC...at South Carolina where they'd never won anything. Last year he took them to the SEC Championship game and they are a huge favorite in the West this year...they are beasts.
And they beat Adam's desperate Bulldogs this weekend so...let him have it.
Even more unofficial is the assignment of these two teams but, it's out there. This game ended on the two inch line. Heartbreaker.
Mississippi State belongs to Jennifer Q, The Sister (aka Insulting Anonymous Poster) and, Mazes. Mazes gets MSU because they love to play the guitar up there and they smoke a lot of weed...and Mazes is obviously high with some of the stuff he posts.
Dr Wommm has remaind quiet on this issue but he's got Auburn for reasons already stated.
Dr feel free to give Mazes the biness over his coaches atrocious play calling at the end of the game.
Obviously it was the music that put the Dores over the top.
Vandy is on a roll.
Just for fun.
I'll be in Oxford tonight...an appropriate location for making all assignments official and getting this party started in earnest. Full slate of SEC games this week.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Where Were You...
...when you read that I almost got killed by a Cottonmouth?
http://flimsycups.blogspot.com/2010/11/biographical-information-tid-bit-1.html
Today is the 10 month and a day anniversary of the publishing of that emotionally charged and bone chilling post.
How have you dealt with the shocking realization that the web came so close to losing the author of this blog...before the internets was even known to the general public?
Were you able to say a prayer of thanks and move past it...or have you been obsessively replaying the event in your mind just to make sure I did actually survive unscathed?
How has your life changed since that moment? Do you now cherish every word of every post as if it was the last. Do you read like I was dying?
Do you panic if a few days pass without a post...terrified that Satan's hand puppet has come back to finish the job?
Or was the emotional turmoil of it all just too much, too much to process and, unable to cope, you've cut your internet off completely.
Tell us your story. Make it an emotional performance...prance and preen. Solipsize the event so we can all have a better understanding of how to deal with it.
You don't know who you might be helping.
Please acknowledge a moment of silence before hitting respond.
http://flimsycups.blogspot.com/2010/11/biographical-information-tid-bit-1.html
Today is the 10 month and a day anniversary of the publishing of that emotionally charged and bone chilling post.
How have you dealt with the shocking realization that the web came so close to losing the author of this blog...before the internets was even known to the general public?
Were you able to say a prayer of thanks and move past it...or have you been obsessively replaying the event in your mind just to make sure I did actually survive unscathed?
How has your life changed since that moment? Do you now cherish every word of every post as if it was the last. Do you read like I was dying?
Do you panic if a few days pass without a post...terrified that Satan's hand puppet has come back to finish the job?
Or was the emotional turmoil of it all just too much, too much to process and, unable to cope, you've cut your internet off completely.
Tell us your story. Make it an emotional performance...prance and preen. Solipsize the event so we can all have a better understanding of how to deal with it.
You don't know who you might be helping.
Please acknowledge a moment of silence before hitting respond.
Monday, September 5, 2011
An Off Day Off.
After a nightlong Tropical downpour, the powers been off, the cable and internet's been off, my stomach's off...mainly because I've been doing paper work all evening.
Big goings on this Saturday...Vanderbilt crushed it, The Gators have a football team again...Georgia does not. We have to talk about Auburn's shenanigans (Dr Womm should he choose to participate gets Auburn...youtube fans have the best taste in music, relatively speaking, and sharing the state with Alabama gives them a perpetually cranky edge)...and LSU,AL-LUH-BAAAMUH, ARKANSAS, ISBW's Gamecocks (we're gonna get to why...I promise) and Mazes baked Mississippi State Bulldogs all looked the part.
Ole Miss? Well...there's only one person that's gonna listen at this point...
Back to my paperwork...and the antacids.
P.S. Y'all did a fine job carrying the load last week...especially you Maze's. You did a great job of demonstrating how bored and sick and tired you are of the SEC.
Big goings on this Saturday...Vanderbilt crushed it, The Gators have a football team again...Georgia does not. We have to talk about Auburn's shenanigans (Dr Womm should he choose to participate gets Auburn...youtube fans have the best taste in music, relatively speaking, and sharing the state with Alabama gives them a perpetually cranky edge)...and LSU,AL-LUH-BAAAMUH, ARKANSAS, ISBW's Gamecocks (we're gonna get to why...I promise) and Mazes baked Mississippi State Bulldogs all looked the part.
Ole Miss? Well...there's only one person that's gonna listen at this point...
Back to my paperwork...and the antacids.
P.S. Y'all did a fine job carrying the load last week...especially you Maze's. You did a great job of demonstrating how bored and sick and tired you are of the SEC.
Monday, August 29, 2011
You Tell Me
I talked with Mazes on the phone this weekend.
In between tales of incompetence on the golf course and a very sad story about how his own two year old son had runaway to live with his grandparents...he tells me all the SEC talk is boring. Keep in mind he called me to ask about two high school teams that were playing on ESPN. He loves and understands the game as well as anybody I know*...but Mazes is a mid-westerner. It would take more time than I'm willing to devote and expertise I don't possess to explain the psychological issues at work when it comes to our friends around the Great Lakes and The SEC.
Besides this post isn't going to be authored by me anyway. Mazes isn't the only "reader" with personal access to me that would rather express his opinions about the blog over the phone instead logging on to post a comment.
So I'm turnin it over to y'all. You tell me what you want to talk about. You can offer your own subject for this post or file formal complaints or tell us what you'd like to hear more of...or just say what's ever on your mind. I'll copy and past your comments into the body of the post. I'm turning it over to y'all.
*Just don't ask him for his expert opinion on any games involving the big ten and The SEC.
Mazes27 said...
Why is all the bowl games played in the South or California. Sick of the sec having home games. Big Ten, has large stadiums also. I know your going to complain about the weather. Its football weather. I would like to see florida. Come to Michigan in January, to play in a bowl game.
natetin said...
When I see SEC I read "Securities and Exchange Commission". One couldn't imagine a more hideously de-fanged, gum-smacking bunch of chicken-s**t stooges dressed in Vulpes' suits (not to be confused with zoot suits, but close). Now that's the kind of description I'd like to hear on Fox News. But may be that's just me, Libra - "the scales".
natetin said...
I've been incredibly busy with this and that, but mainly that, with the occasional excursion into this. So what new from the Vander's locker room? I imagine them sitting around reading Scott Fitzgerald's "Gatsby" while Copland's "Fanfare for the Common Man" plays ominously over the PA system. I've no particular reason for imagining that, it just seems somehow fitting. Probably not this version though:
http://youtu.be/YkL0KGY-VIM
Speaking, at least in passing, of Fitzgerald, as I was, Hunter S Thompson was a big fan. He used type and type, over and over again, Gatsby, on an old ribbon job, as he held it to be the finest American novel. I mention this because Dr Thompson's first novel has been turned into a film and I, for one, am looking forward to it.
Trailer here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YUx36yLLug
Adam said...
OK heres a min rant for you. Check this Guardian article out, on spiders.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2011/aug/31/spider-season-home-arachnid-invasion%20-%20sent%20from%20my%20Android%20phone%20with%20Guardian%20Anywhere
and my response: I could, I stress COULD, write a bit rant on the fact that its a spider, but y'know, whatever right, ain't hurting anybody giving it a name and all that. However, what really bugs is, this is about where the Guardian is at these days, indeed all supposed credible papers in the UK. I'll just mind my own buisness and continue in ignorance cheers.
Man, sucks that you got robbed! Arseholes, kinda feel a bit violated after someone has been in your house. horrible. :-(
natetin said...
I love The Mail, it's like a comic book for adults with learning difficulties (no really, can't stop checking it out everyday without fail). And they love the Kardashians as if they were the main attraction at the circus freak show - sans the make up and designer get up, the Kardashians would look entirely at home in Fraggle Rock.
Well, I hope they catch your TV & gun rustlers, round em up, wire their eyes open like Malcolm McDowell's character in A Clockwork Orange, secure your Winchester so the barrel sits squarely facing their noggins - so they are able to reach the trigger - while the films of Adam Sandler play, on your flat screen TV pressed to their faces, on continuous loop till either their optic nerves pull their eyes balls back through their skulls or their fingers decides their head needs to kiss the bullet ... it doesn't need to be Sandler ... Kardashians ... Geraldo ... Ricki Lake ... Jersey Shore ... Who's The Boss? repeat. Pick your own bête noire to fulfil your revenge fantasy. I'm sticking with Adam Sandler, though, I know it may be controversial, but Jerry Seinfeld come a close second for me.
Adam said...
Whilst we are on tangents, they now have a new UK version of Jersey shore, called Geordie Shore. Much to the disgust of my northumbrian good lady. In a way, its a good thing we didn't renew our TV license this year, as not only have we found ourselves with more time to do stuff we enjoy more, and its has saved us £145 quid, we also get to miss the existence of this sort of shit, and the dull, pointless, hollow vessels that claw to get themselves on it, and push their own unique brand of feral morality, fed with turkey twixlers, scented with paco raban, dressed in designer fashions. Decadence and dreamy aftershave. I think I need to go write another song to get this off my chest :D
In between tales of incompetence on the golf course and a very sad story about how his own two year old son had runaway to live with his grandparents...he tells me all the SEC talk is boring. Keep in mind he called me to ask about two high school teams that were playing on ESPN. He loves and understands the game as well as anybody I know*...but Mazes is a mid-westerner. It would take more time than I'm willing to devote and expertise I don't possess to explain the psychological issues at work when it comes to our friends around the Great Lakes and The SEC.
Besides this post isn't going to be authored by me anyway. Mazes isn't the only "reader" with personal access to me that would rather express his opinions about the blog over the phone instead logging on to post a comment.
So I'm turnin it over to y'all. You tell me what you want to talk about. You can offer your own subject for this post or file formal complaints or tell us what you'd like to hear more of...or just say what's ever on your mind. I'll copy and past your comments into the body of the post. I'm turning it over to y'all.
*Just don't ask him for his expert opinion on any games involving the big ten and The SEC.
Mazes27 said...
Why is all the bowl games played in the South or California. Sick of the sec having home games. Big Ten, has large stadiums also. I know your going to complain about the weather. Its football weather. I would like to see florida. Come to Michigan in January, to play in a bowl game.
natetin said...
When I see SEC I read "Securities and Exchange Commission". One couldn't imagine a more hideously de-fanged, gum-smacking bunch of chicken-s**t stooges dressed in Vulpes' suits (not to be confused with zoot suits, but close). Now that's the kind of description I'd like to hear on Fox News. But may be that's just me, Libra - "the scales".
natetin said...
I've been incredibly busy with this and that, but mainly that, with the occasional excursion into this. So what new from the Vander's locker room? I imagine them sitting around reading Scott Fitzgerald's "Gatsby" while Copland's "Fanfare for the Common Man" plays ominously over the PA system. I've no particular reason for imagining that, it just seems somehow fitting. Probably not this version though:
http://youtu.be/YkL0KGY-VIM
Speaking, at least in passing, of Fitzgerald, as I was, Hunter S Thompson was a big fan. He used type and type, over and over again, Gatsby, on an old ribbon job, as he held it to be the finest American novel. I mention this because Dr Thompson's first novel has been turned into a film and I, for one, am looking forward to it.
Trailer here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YUx36yLLug
Adam said...
OK heres a min rant for you. Check this Guardian article out, on spiders.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2011/aug/31/spider-season-home-arachnid-invasion%20-%20sent%20from%20my%20Android%20phone%20with%20Guardian%20Anywhere
and my response: I could, I stress COULD, write a bit rant on the fact that its a spider, but y'know, whatever right, ain't hurting anybody giving it a name and all that. However, what really bugs is, this is about where the Guardian is at these days, indeed all supposed credible papers in the UK. I'll just mind my own buisness and continue in ignorance cheers.
Man, sucks that you got robbed! Arseholes, kinda feel a bit violated after someone has been in your house. horrible. :-(
natetin said...
I love The Mail, it's like a comic book for adults with learning difficulties (no really, can't stop checking it out everyday without fail). And they love the Kardashians as if they were the main attraction at the circus freak show - sans the make up and designer get up, the Kardashians would look entirely at home in Fraggle Rock.
Well, I hope they catch your TV & gun rustlers, round em up, wire their eyes open like Malcolm McDowell's character in A Clockwork Orange, secure your Winchester so the barrel sits squarely facing their noggins - so they are able to reach the trigger - while the films of Adam Sandler play, on your flat screen TV pressed to their faces, on continuous loop till either their optic nerves pull their eyes balls back through their skulls or their fingers decides their head needs to kiss the bullet ... it doesn't need to be Sandler ... Kardashians ... Geraldo ... Ricki Lake ... Jersey Shore ... Who's The Boss? repeat. Pick your own bête noire to fulfil your revenge fantasy. I'm sticking with Adam Sandler, though, I know it may be controversial, but Jerry Seinfeld come a close second for me.
Adam said...
Whilst we are on tangents, they now have a new UK version of Jersey shore, called Geordie Shore. Much to the disgust of my northumbrian good lady. In a way, its a good thing we didn't renew our TV license this year, as not only have we found ourselves with more time to do stuff we enjoy more, and its has saved us £145 quid, we also get to miss the existence of this sort of shit, and the dull, pointless, hollow vessels that claw to get themselves on it, and push their own unique brand of feral morality, fed with turkey twixlers, scented with paco raban, dressed in designer fashions. Decadence and dreamy aftershave. I think I need to go write another song to get this off my chest :D
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