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Friday, July 8, 2011

I AM NOT SHOUTING!!!



Because if I did the pressure in my face would shift and my head might explode.

SICK.

This has been the longest nastiest bought of sinus trouble I've had...maybe ever. I actually left work early today.

What do I expect y'all to do about it?

Feel sorry for me and tell me I'm gonna get better.
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10 comments:

  1. Kolley KibberJuly 11, 2011 at 5:34 AM

    On the bright side, it gave you an excuse to show that Young Ones clip.

    You need to inhale, lad, and inhale deep. Get some menthol crystals (not to be confused with crystal meth) and drop a few (just a few) into a bowl of very hot water. Towel over head, and breathe deep. It will hurt and you'll curse, but then you'll feel better.

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  2. e.f. bartlamJuly 11, 2011 at 6:46 AM

    "Alright then. Where's your girlie purse?"

    If you held a gun to my head that is the funniest three minutes of television ever aired.

    We may have to try it. It's getting rough around here.

    Martha's gone through a full course of antibiotics and her face is still killing her.

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  3. AdamJuly 12, 2011 at 4:01 AM

    You catch that from your communion cup dude? I warned you!

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  4. e.f. bartlamJuly 12, 2011 at 5:57 AM

    I don't think so. We weren't at Church last weekend.

    I tell you what did happen this Sunday at Communion...Deacon knocked me in the teeth with the cup and I didn't get any wine.

    No I think my illness was brought on by your prolonged absence from the blog.

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  5. natetinJuly 12, 2011 at 1:58 PM

    A friend of mine is a yoga teacher and cognitive scientist; she has this tea pot device with a long spout which she fills with salt water and decants into her nasal cavities in order to clear the sinuses. I for one deplore such barbaric quackery and, instead, recommend switching to cigars and high alcoholic-sterilizing-content drinks with vitamin C rich mixers (vodka-orange or whiskey-lemon say). Also try to avoid those unsympathetic members of the fairer sex who will try to diminish your suffering by comparing it with the pain of childbirth - they may have a point, but is it really necessary to throw it in your bunged-up cavity face?

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  6. natetinJuly 12, 2011 at 2:06 PM

    Yeah, communion backwash. Adam's right. May be take your own sacramental flask in future ... helps those who help themselves, etc?

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  7. e.f. bartlamJuly 12, 2011 at 7:42 PM

    We'll do the menthol crystals then use the booze to get over it.

    I'm just glad we have so many readers positioned to give expert advice on the sniffles...it would be like having a bunch of Egyptian followers to consult before buying a camel.

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  8. e.f. bartlamJuly 13, 2011 at 8:23 AM

    P.S. You should ask The Sister about the pain of childbirth.

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  9. natetinJuly 13, 2011 at 2:17 PM

    But avoid the crystal meth and booze combo: sure, it'll clear your sinuses, but also your bank account (unless you're Charlie Sheen and have a very large bank account to begin with, as well as an endless supply of tiger's blood on tap (but even that isn't always enough to keep the goddesses aboard the crazy train)).

    http://youtu.be/JRbPWcLode0

    PS. Try to avoid smoking camels too ;)

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  10. e.f. bartlamJuly 13, 2011 at 6:12 PM

    Humps and caffine...that' how I do it.

    Tiger blood I got...we'll have to wait until tonight's powerball numbers turn out to know where the bank account is.

    Ozzy's always been a favorite of mine..and what can you say about Randy Rhoads..dang.

    Speaking of the meth...have y'all seen Breaking Bad?

    ReplyDelete

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