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Showing posts with label SEC Football. Show all posts
Showing posts with label SEC Football. Show all posts

Monday, November 21, 2011

Hope You Don't Land on Your Whatchyamacallit Larry.

Praise for the Georgia Bulldogs doesn't come easy here...in fact under normal circumstances it doesn't come at all but, the death of Legend is not a normal occurrence.

Larry Munson died of complications due to pneumonia yesterday. From 1966 to 2008, he was the voice of Bulldog football...the voice of Georgia. He was the most partisan, biased, irrational caller that ever got behind a microphone. The games turned him into an emotional wreck...just like the fans. Maybe the fact that he was born in Minnesota accounted for his fanaticism...a constant need to prove his loyalty to the team, the state, the region. However it started, whatever caused it...it was genuine and he was the greatest that there will ever be. Period. A Legend among Legends in a league full of them.



All my people are from Georgia (some of 'em are even Bulldogs. Right SKIPPY?). We were back there in September of 08 to bury my Grandmaw. As usually happens whenever there's 3 or more family members gathered...me and Daddy ended up in the car together. As we left Alma headed out 32 to my grandparent's place we listened to Georgia play some nobody. It didn't matter. I was listening to Larry Munson. He didn't care that they were playing a nobody either...every play was life or death for him. It was comforting.

Course he wasn't always a comfort. This one isn't a distant memory to me. Whenever it plays I'm seven years old...it's a recurring heartbreak but, it is, without doubt, the greatest call ever.



It's been posted but...

Rest in Peace Larry.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

The Old Ball Coach - South Carolina

This is probably the toughest game on the Schedule to deal with.

After the 2001 season, Steve Spurrier...resigned as head coach of the Florida Gators to peruse a coaching job in the National Football League. Spurrier wasn't just any coach. He had been a quarterback at Florida and until 1996, the only Gator to win the Hiesman Trophy. He was hired on the last day of 1989 to coach his alma mater and spent the next 11 years revolutionizing the SEC and turning Florida into a force of nature. He is the Greatest Gator of Them All.

Florida had never won an SEC Title when Spurrier took over*...he won six in 11 years. In 1996 he lead the team to it's first ever National Championship. They've never looked. Bear Bryant referred to Florida as a sleeping giant...it was Spurrier that woke Em up.

He was a phenomenon...people loved him and loved to hate him.

1995_11_20_STEVE_SPURRIER_LARGE

Darth Visor, Steve Superior and wryly The Ole Ball..."I'm just an ole ball coach." He wasn't the lovable grandfatherly figure that eats ice cream with fans, who's touted for doing things "the right way," while enabling child molesters...but, he ran a clean program and he was a winner.

"They can call us sore winners...call me arrogant, a crybaby. Whatever...they're not callin' us losers any more."

The day he left was devastating...but nobody had a cross word to say about him. When he took over the Washington Redskins...we all became Redskin fans. It didn't help though. His tenure in Washington was a failure.

When he left the Skins there was hope that he would back as coach of the Gators. His replacement was fired that same year. Probably for the best, it didn't happen. Florida hired Urban Meyer and Spurrier, with a promise of membership at Augusta National, took over at South Carolina.

Now every year he coaches against the team that he still calls his own. Half the time when he asked about the Gators he refers to them as "we" and "us." Not today. Today he's the opposing coach...he's gotta be beaten but, it's not easy to watch or root for.

*At least officially...though Daddy still keeps a Pepsi-cola bottle on his shelf that say's otherwise.

Florida 3 - South Carolina 7

Florida 3 - South Carolina 14

South Carolina had never won anything before Steve Spurrier. Last year they won the East and played in the SEC Championship game...they were favored this year to win the East again. It's not lookin' good for the Gators.



For our, newest reader'....Spurrier's finest moment in The Swamp. The year before, 1996, the Gator's beatened the Seminoles in the National Championship's game. In 1997 the Seminoles came to Gainesville undefeated. All they had to do was beat the underdog's Gators...and they were headed to the National Championship's game again.



It was my last night in Germany and I broke danced on my buddy's floor.

Florida 6 - South Carolina 14

Gators are moving the ball.

Florida 12 (they scored a touchdown...failed on the two point conversion) - South Carolina 17 (field goal)

Y'all are gonna be on your own for the rest of the game...I gotta get goin'.

Hold on. There's only a minute forty seconds to go. I can wait for that. South Carolina's got the ball at mid field and they just picked up a first down. Florida's got to somehow get the ball back.

48 seconds left...SC is punting.

SACK...ball game.

Florida 12 - South Carolina 17

He should have left Brisset in.

If Georgia loses to Auburn tonight...South Carolina goes to Atlanta.

Friday, November 11, 2011

The Bar Has Been Raised.

We have the best readers on the internets.

You don't believe me? Read the comments here, go to the blogs of these people...you'll see. They're all well above average intelligence, excellent writers and funny. They make this blog. We log on every day in hopes of a comment here or even better a new post on their own blogs. We love them all but...

Today we love one of them slightly more than the rest...one of you has moved into first place among equals. Shockingly it is not one of our regular contributors, she doesn't even have a blog of her own...she is a regular lurker. Worse still...she one of those lurkers. The one's that either contact me directly about the blog or passes on comments through third parties like Martha.

How is it that a non-contributing, passive reader of the blog, has reached this lofty status with us here at Flimsy Cups?

She gave me a ticket to the Mississippi State/Alabama game this weekend.

That's how easy I am.

Thank you Ms. Quick.

Pictures from last years Mississippi State/Georgia game...also, courtesy of Ms. Quick.

IMGP3654

MSUUGA3

IMGP3681

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Dixie Holds It's Breath...

...the entire U.S. is holding it's breath.

LSU and Alabama kick off in less than 10 minutes...for the biggest football game that I can remember in 38 years.



Tickets were going for 10,000 bucks...though you could get a volume deal at 4 for 22 grand. Bryant Denny Stadium holds over 100 thousand and some estimates are saying there will be double that outside of the stadium...just to be there.

Mazes just called me to ask about the game...and y'all know how jealous he is of the SEC.

It's not normal for me to post twice in one day but, this is not a normal day.

The **** is on y'all.

Trent Richardson is a Grown Man.

Full Grown.

Right on cue LSU backs him up.

No Good...wide right.

Bama stunned Em for a second there but LSU bowed up.

There's Jefferson....he's gotta play tonight against those blitzes.

Williams is an Australian...that's at least two out there.

He was open but ifhe'd have caught that ball he would have been blown to atoms by the safety.

Speaking of Australians...wing is ridiculous. It's like he's swingin' a nine iron.

Just when it looks like they got 'Em stopped...penalty was stoopid though.

They can forget about the lateral run game.

Another field goal attempt...Missed again.


Uh oh...that hurts.

McCarron put there but Claiborne made an outstanding play on the ball.

End of the first 0 - 0. what you might expect from two of the best defenses in all of football.

DA*N! Mazes what would Trent Richardson do to the Colts defense?

Kickin again...wt....BLOCKED!

That's a wash on the turnover.

BOOOM...BLEW YER *** UP!

That Wing kid may be the best punter since Guy. There's gonna be a lot of furious Australians if the SEC starts cherry picking some of their best players. I don't know what Australian Rules Football pays but it can't be as much as the SE....I mean NFL.

Even Mary-Cathcart has come into the living room to watch the game.

It takes five men to tackle Richardson and LSU usually has six there but when they don't...that's what happens.

Are they gonna try and kick it again??

Finally.

Alabama 3 - LSU 0

I thought Kirkpatrick had screwed em there for a minute...but they held it.

Alabama 3 - LSU 3 Halftime.

Every bit as good as advertised.

Now we'll see if Jefferson can make a difference.

Even though the play lost two yards it got an ooh out of Martha.

Upshaw is a monster.

If not for the penalty that would have been real trouble. I feel for Lee.

Bama gets another three points off the interception.

Alabama 6 - LSU 3.

This is a solid drive. They need it. They're only down three but in this game first downs are like touchdowns.

That's how you defend the option...textbook.

So much for the drive.

Oh my...oh man...that's a serious mistake.

Fourth Quarter.

Alabama 6 - LSU 3 but LSU's in field goal range after the interception.

Tie ball game.

Alabama 6 - LSU 6.

That was a great stop by Bama. These defenses are
Mind boggling.

What a run...you can't stop him all night. Just punishing people.

They gon' have to have another look at that.

Interception.

Nicks and scrapes are starting to show.

Alabama could get the win and Richardson the Heisman on this drive.

Of course, he gets blown up by Taylor on the next play.

Beckham's return negated by a stoopid penalty on Kirkpatrick...who's still down. That was just Idiotic.

Under four minutes...LSU's movin the ball. This may be the game.

End of regulation...Alabama 6 -LSU 6.

Overtime.

Alabama gets the ball first.

LSU backs Em up...it's on the kicker. No freaking Good!

All LSU has to do is keep it in the middle of the field and kick a short field goal.

Oh crap...he stepped out. Bama hanging by a thread.

This is it.

LSU WINS IT!!! 9 - 6.

What a ball game. There is no hype in this league.

Vanderbilt: With Guest Commentary

Vanderbilt is coming to town today and for the first time since 1945 they are bringing a football team with them.

If the Gators lose today it will be the first time they've lost five games in a row since 1988. That was the same year that the Commodores last won this game.

If the Gators lose today it'll be Yale football around here for the rest of the season.

I've gotta go to Vicksburg...do some work. Working on Saturdays in the Fall is a crime but, the boss man is in a jam and I couldn't leave him there.

You'll be in capable hands....I think. I mean I know the hands are capable. I just don't know if he'll show up. That's what you get dealing with college professors.

Y'all know Allan.

Photobucket

He's is a PhD in, and professor of, philosophy. Which seems appropriate for today's game.

Nat, I know the game is on Gator Sports.com and you can try ESPN.Co.Uk. Game starts at 11:00 central time...I reckon that'd be about 7:00pm your time. 1900?

Go Gators.

Athletes 7 - Brains 0

Round of applause for Dr Allan everybody.

There's less than two minutes left. Florida's winnin' 24 - 21. Vandyy just scored....onside kick comin up.

Fail. Sorry about your luck scholars...game over. Go on back to the li'berry and read your books.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Georgia

So far so good.

God fearin', red-blooded Gators 7 - Communist wing of the Taliban 0.

That's where it stands at the end of the 1st quarter...with Georgia in the red-zone.

7 - 3.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahah

14 - 3. That's what the fastest man in America looks like at 75%.

Don't wimper off yet...mangy dawgs.

It wouldn't have been good against anyone else...hahahaha.

17 - 3.

All-American kicker....but it's still wide right. Hahahaha.

D#%#^ it

They give 'Em that one.

17 - 10.

Brantly's issues are a little disconcerting. He's a statue...a collapsable statue...back there. Hopefully they're setting them up for something to deal with the blitz.

That's a win forth defense.

Braced for the usual third quarter surge from Georgia.

What the...they look hapless.

Another three and out...but more dreadful field position.

##%#^€€¥€£....gotta bow up now.

17 - 17

Florida's about to attempt another field goal with a kicker that's not even on the depth chart.

Good!!!

20 - 17

I think Gary's right Georgia should keep running the ball up the middle.

That was a good stop.

Now come on Walsh I know you can miss this one too.

Hahahahaha

Still...20 - 17.

What a crock of s***!!!

No Gary you babbling moron you don't have to give it to the Georgia oline you have to give to the ref that kept the drive alive.

20 - 24 Georgia and the pass interference.

What was that? Who could he possibly been trying to throw the ball to?

The Defense is gonna have to pick up some points here...they have to.

Three and out is good too...as was that doody poot punt.

Why for the love of cupcakes why would they try to run the ball up the middle. They better fake it...it's the only chance they've got.

Here we go.

That's it you clowns...now block the punt.

35 yards y'all.

They went backwards. They'll stop 'em again but then what??????

That was about as awful as it gets.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

War Gator!

For the first time in ten years me and Daddy won't be in the stands at Auburn for the Florida / Auburn game...

"Yeah," says Martha, "maybe they'll win this time."

That's cold.

As hilarious as that was it wasn't the funniest thing that was said this afternoon.

"Alabama fans," according The Sister, a Mississippi State alum, "are horrid trailer trash" was the real funny.

Anyway...6:39 to go in the 1st quarter...0-0.

What a bunch of crap...typical crap at Auburn.

0-7 Auburn and the Referees.

3-7 auburn's still winnin the football game but losing the wrastlin match.

No GOOD Clowns.

6-7

Halftime.

Wide Left...losers.

:bangsheadagainstwall:

6-14 Cow College

Typical.

6-17 Auburn.

Next up a bye week....maybe they can win that.

__________________________________________________

As referenced in the comments...listen close you can hear Gloson's ankles snapping.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Geaux Gators!



This...high on bourbon...is what we're dealing with today.

Where Alabama is methodical and aggressive...LSU is insane and hyper-aggressive.

At least the Gators have a quarterback who's never started a football before.

24 minutes and counting.

There is one thing...it won't be Saturday night. It'll be Saturday afternoon and that matters in Baton Rouge.

That was 24 minutes not counting whatever time it takes to get through the JP game.

Oh for the love of cupcakes....who is Jacoby Brisset???? Never even taken a snap!

First time ever at Florida a true freshman has taken his first snap as the starting quarterback.

That took all of two plays.

0-7 LSU

0-14 LSU

If you were generous you could call it signs of life...of course there's nothing a cat loves more than signs of life.

LSU's got a flipping Austrailian punting the ball...dropped that thing on the five yard line like nine iron.

What a stoopid rule...but, we don't have choice we'll take it. Sorry Mate.

He should have been flagged for the fruitiness of the celebration anyway.

Insanity surrounds that sideline...lives there like a house pet.

%#*^%#%#%+^%£€¥€¥€¥!!!!!!!!

Make up calls.

WT.....

There you go.

Oh yeah...0-17 LSU. At least for the next 30 seconds.

0-24.....LSU.

Don't anybody move...they're moving the ball.

11 seconds...thanks to Milesian clock management.

3 - 24 LSU

http://www.cbssports.com/video/player/sec-live

30 more minutes to go.

Stop....now go

Hammond was as wide open as it is possible to be and still be on the field...sad.

3-27 LSU.

11-27 Clowns. Brisset...the name's Brisset.

Ha ha yeah real funny....hahahah...I'm in stitches over here. %#%##+#+#^#>~%#>#%#><*#£#£,+~'fm

11-34 LSU

Freakish athletes...freakish

Why are they punting

11-41

That's supper.

Up next Arkansas v Auburn...Georgia v Tennessee.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Work Em Silly!!!!!!

They got in the end zone faster than I could get to the blog!

7 - 0 Mighty Gators

Richardson is a grown man.

Go on getchya kicker out there.

7 - 3

Burnt yo A** AGaIn!

50/50

That one's comin back but...it came back

D****

10 - 3

They workin' Kirkpatrick...he don't look so tough this Saturday.

:grindsteeth:

There's a victory...he only got a yard on that one

Gary say's McCarron has no stage fright....maybe not but that's the second time the crowd has caused a time out

2nd and goal

What bare they gonna do with this cat?

10 - 10

I don't know if getting Demps in space is going to do much more than keep Bama on their toes...nobody tackles better than these clowns

Keep Blitzing B******es


Flippin Upshaw! :x

UPSHAW again....dadgummit

10 - 17 Bama on a freak interception.

0 yards rushing for the Gators. They are gonna have to figure out how to get behind that defense...somehow. There's no getting around those tackles...and they ain't big enough to run anybody over.

There's a stop

That's just stoopid good on their part

#]#%*#^#}##¥£€€{%}£}£{*^!!!!!!!

Third down....


This thing is teetering


It takes a full blown rugby scrum to stop this clown

Punt Bama Punt

That was Bull ****

10 - 24 Bama

This is their first real moment of the season...

Rhythm

That's it...that's it

Brantley got the fumble Gary...you seem to be the only one confused about it.

Well if they don't have somebody serviceable behind Brantley...

I'm just gonna say it...I want to punch Upshaw in the neck. Sue me.

Bad as it's been...that interception was the killer. They can't run the ball but, they've been able to throw it and you cannot count Demps and Rainey out...Bama Can't send everybody without opening themselves up. They do seem to be getting as many bodies as they can on Richardson.

Pick six is what is called for...Do It Clowns.

Y'all ready...

10 - 24 Bama start of second half

Drisckle looks like he's trying to swallow the first bite of his last meal sitting there on the sideline

That's a loss clowns

What a crock of -----. They stopped Em anyway.

Geez

Half of my posts are not posting...it's only the really brilliant analysis that is being zapped. Blogger is a fan of the Borg...figures.

That's two stops...but will they see Bama's end of the field again tonight. I cannot stress the obvious enough...points on defense are what is needed.

WIDE OPEN...WIIIIIDE OPEN. :(

That's another stop...can they at least get the ball to mid field?

That was a legend move.

In case you didn't know they have to stop em

If this thing is going to go --- over ---- this is the start of it.

@&$&@!!!!!!

Well.

10 - 31 The Borg

The stage is truly set for a legend to emerge...like Chesty Puller said, " they can't get away from us now...they've got us surrounded."

The Gators are going to end this game with half a quarterback...and immediately start getting ready for LSU.

10 - 5,000,000 the Borg

If Muschamp is truly an SEC Coach...and I believe that he is...Bama will pay for this at some point in the future.

At least Driskle is getting some experience...

You hear that? Rammer Jammer in the Swamp...I want to puke.

P.S. Mel Kiper Jr. has Richardson as his obvious front runner for the Heismen...there gonna have to come up with a new set of awards and goals for the rest of college football.

Here it is...in all it's hideousness.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

This Ain't Kentucky



There's the original. It's almost cinematic...nobody does it better than Vern.




Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer,

Hey ______, Hey ______
We Just Beat the Hell Outta You.
Rammer Jammer, Yellow Hammer,
Give 'em Hell Alabama

that's how you're serenaded when you lose to Alabama. I was there that day. Loosing in Tuscaloosa is a thoroughly unpleasant experience for any of the eleven SEC teams not located in the state of Alabama.

For Auburn...a mere 200 miles away meaning there is no geographic separation, these fanbases live right on top of one another 365 days a year...it's an issue with traumatic potential.

You might say...well, it works both ways, Alabama's barely 200 miles from Auburn isn't it? No...it doesn't work that way. Never mind that Auburn has their own great traditions, or that they're the reigning National and SEC Champs, never mind that that they've had a couple of the greatest players to ever play the game and their own share of characters....Fair or not, nobody measures themselves against Auburn...least of all Alabama.



Did he say 22 SEC Championships...Twenty...TWO??? :grindsteeth:

While 10 teams in the SEC love to hate Alabama*...for Auburn it's a genuine burden. It's not just football. Alabama's old money, doctors and lawyers go to Alabama...farmers go to Auburn. A Cow College...that's what they call it and when Auburn comes to Tuscaloosa they're greeted with Old McDonald Had a Farm. The fact that the Auburn's Engineers and Agriculturalists go on to do just as well if not better than Alabama's Doctors and Lawyers makes the persistence of the stereotype that much more bitter. So bitter that an Auburn victory over Alabama in the Iron Bowl is never exactly sweet...



...more cathartic really.

.

"I LUH YOU CHARLIE"

It's worth pointing out here that they still had an SEC Championship game and a National Championship game left to play.

To be fair, the game causes it's own peculiar psychosis for the Alabama fan who, as it turns out, is not always a doctor or a lawyer.

To be continued...

P.S. The Alabama slot is still open if anybody wants it...they are as elephantine as ever. Ridiculous defense...

*Among the many accomplishments of Steve Spurrier one of the greatest was to finally provide Bear Bryant with something approaching a peer and to put Florida in a position to challenge the dominance of Alabama...which they have more than managed to do for 20 years now.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Week Two Heartbreaks (With Official Assignments Now...Adam)



Though we haven't done the official announcement South Carolina has been assigned for weeks...as have the Georgia Bulldogs.

ISbW ...you get South Carolina for a cuople of reasons. One their heritage with the conference is...well, non-linear. They are a seamless fit, and they were a member of the old Southern Conference but, their history includes stintsnas a member of the Atlantic Coast Conference and as an Independent.

Two, and mainly, with South Carolina you get the Brian Clough of the SEC, maybe all of American football, Stephen Orr Spurrier...Steve Superior, Darth Visor, The Old Ball Coach, The Greatest Gator of them All. That's right. Not only was he a legendary player at Florida...he came back as head coach and turned them from a mediocre squad of under achievers to a monster that dominated the SEC for a decade. "They can call us arrogant, call me a whiner...whatever. They aren't calling us losers anymore."

In 2001 he left for an I'll advised ego trip to coach in the NFL. Three years later he was back in the SEC...at South Carolina where they'd never won anything. Last year he took them to the SEC Championship game and they are a huge favorite in the West this year...they are beasts.

And they beat Adam's desperate Bulldogs this weekend so...let him have it.



Even more unofficial is the assignment of these two teams but, it's out there. This game ended on the two inch line. Heartbreaker.

Mississippi State belongs to Jennifer Q, The Sister (aka Insulting Anonymous Poster) and, Mazes. Mazes gets MSU because they love to play the guitar up there and they smoke a lot of weed...and Mazes is obviously high with some of the stuff he posts.

Dr Wommm has remaind quiet on this issue but he's got Auburn for reasons already stated.

Dr feel free to give Mazes the biness over his coaches atrocious play calling at the end of the game.



Obviously it was the music that put the Dores over the top.

Vandy is on a roll.

Just for fun.





I'll be in Oxford tonight...an appropriate location for making all assignments official and getting this party started in earnest. Full slate of SEC games this week.

Monday, September 5, 2011

An Off Day Off.

After a nightlong Tropical downpour, the powers been off, the cable and internet's been off, my stomach's off...mainly because I've been doing paper work all evening.

Big goings on this Saturday...Vanderbilt crushed it, The Gators have a football team again...Georgia does not. We have to talk about Auburn's shenanigans (Dr Womm should he choose to participate gets Auburn...youtube fans have the best taste in music, relatively speaking, and sharing the state with Alabama gives them a perpetually cranky edge)...and LSU,AL-LUH-BAAAMUH, ARKANSAS, ISBW's Gamecocks (we're gonna get to why...I promise) and Mazes baked Mississippi State Bulldogs all looked the part.

Ole Miss? Well...there's only one person that's gonna listen at this point...



Back to my paperwork...and the antacids.

P.S. Y'all did a fine job carrying the load last week...especially you Maze's. You did a great job of demonstrating how bored and sick and tired you are of the SEC.

Monday, August 29, 2011

You Tell Me

I talked with Mazes on the phone this weekend.

In between tales of incompetence on the golf course and a very sad story about how his own two year old son had runaway to live with his grandparents...he tells me all the SEC talk is boring. Keep in mind he called me to ask about two high school teams that were playing on ESPN. He loves and understands the game as well as anybody I know*...but Mazes is a mid-westerner. It would take more time than I'm willing to devote and expertise I don't possess to explain the psychological issues at work when it comes to our friends around the Great Lakes and The SEC.

Besides this post isn't going to be authored by me anyway. Mazes isn't the only "reader" with personal access to me that would rather express his opinions about the blog over the phone instead logging on to post a comment.

So I'm turnin it over to y'all. You tell me what you want to talk about. You can offer your own subject for this post or file formal complaints or tell us what you'd like to hear more of...or just say what's ever on your mind. I'll copy and past your comments into the body of the post. I'm turning it over to y'all.



*Just don't ask him for his expert opinion on any games involving the big ten and The SEC.


Mazes27 said...
Why is all the bowl games played in the South or California. Sick of the sec having home games. Big Ten, has large stadiums also. I know your going to complain about the weather. Its football weather. I would like to see florida. Come to Michigan in January, to play in a bowl game.


natetin said...
When I see SEC I read "Securities and Exchange Commission". One couldn't imagine a more hideously de-fanged, gum-smacking bunch of chicken-s**t stooges dressed in Vulpes' suits (not to be confused with zoot suits, but close). Now that's the kind of description I'd like to hear on Fox News. But may be that's just me, Libra - "the scales".

natetin said...
I've been incredibly busy with this and that, but mainly that, with the occasional excursion into this. So what new from the Vander's locker room? I imagine them sitting around reading Scott Fitzgerald's "Gatsby" while Copland's "Fanfare for the Common Man" plays ominously over the PA system. I've no particular reason for imagining that, it just seems somehow fitting. Probably not this version though:

http://youtu.be/YkL0KGY-VIM

Speaking, at least in passing, of Fitzgerald, as I was, Hunter S Thompson was a big fan. He used type and type, over and over again, Gatsby, on an old ribbon job, as he held it to be the finest American novel. I mention this because Dr Thompson's first novel has been turned into a film and I, for one, am looking forward to it.

Trailer here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YUx36yLLug

Adam said...
OK heres a min rant for you. Check this Guardian article out, on spiders.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2011/aug/31/spider-season-home-arachnid-invasion%20-%20sent%20from%20my%20Android%20phone%20with%20Guardian%20Anywhere

and my response: I could, I stress COULD, write a bit rant on the fact that its a spider, but y'know, whatever right, ain't hurting anybody giving it a name and all that. However, what really bugs is, this is about where the Guardian is at these days, indeed all supposed credible papers in the UK. I'll just mind my own buisness and continue in ignorance cheers.

Man, sucks that you got robbed! Arseholes, kinda feel a bit violated after someone has been in your house. horrible. :-(

natetin said...
I love The Mail, it's like a comic book for adults with learning difficulties (no really, can't stop checking it out everyday without fail). And they love the Kardashians as if they were the main attraction at the circus freak show - sans the make up and designer get up, the Kardashians would look entirely at home in Fraggle Rock.

Well, I hope they catch your TV & gun rustlers, round em up, wire their eyes open like Malcolm McDowell's character in A Clockwork Orange, secure your Winchester so the barrel sits squarely facing their noggins - so they are able to reach the trigger - while the films of Adam Sandler play, on your flat screen TV pressed to their faces, on continuous loop till either their optic nerves pull their eyes balls back through their skulls or their fingers decides their head needs to kiss the bullet ... it doesn't need to be Sandler ... Kardashians ... Geraldo ... Ricki Lake ... Jersey Shore ... Who's The Boss? repeat. Pick your own bête noire to fulfil your revenge fantasy. I'm sticking with Adam Sandler, though, I know it may be controversial, but Jerry Seinfeld come a close second for me.

Adam said...
Whilst we are on tangents, they now have a new UK version of Jersey shore, called Geordie Shore. Much to the disgust of my northumbrian good lady. In a way, its a good thing we didn't renew our TV license this year, as not only have we found ourselves with more time to do stuff we enjoy more, and its has saved us £145 quid, we also get to miss the existence of this sort of shit, and the dull, pointless, hollow vessels that claw to get themselves on it, and push their own unique brand of feral morality, fed with turkey twixlers, scented with paco raban, dressed in designer fashions. Decadence and dreamy aftershave. I think I need to go write another song to get this off my chest :D

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Adam Between the Hedges

We are getting tantalizingly close to the opening day of the season...the first of twelve precious games. In the meantime we've got some business to sort out. Originally I had thought about lettin' y'all choose your own teams but, why fight against every tyrannical fiber in my being when I can just assign teams by fiat?

So, Adam you get Georgia...the Georgia (White English) Bulldogs.*


A little GunsnRoses to ease you into it. At the 2:50 mark...Sweeeet Caroline!

Their Southern credentials are untouchable. They got the money...they got the fans...they got the facilities...it's the Empire State of The South baybay! They've got Tradition... the hedges, Larry Munson...The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party and they're one half of The Deep South's Oldest Rivalry.

As a clincher, only at Ole Miss will you find more fashionable fans (ironically the worst dressed reader...I mean beyond bad...already has Ole Miss. He's got a graduate degree from the place...Dr. Allan). You can finally break those red chinos out of the closet Adam.

Only drawback is they have rarely lived up to their potential. Given the allocation of resources Georgia not Alabama** should be the Bell Cow of the SEC but for various and whatever reasons it has not been the case. The fact that they've only beaten the Gators, who they used to own with heartbreaking regularity, three times in the last 20 years has not helped.

Their oldest rival may be Auburn and they've got a heated one with Georgia Tech in Atlanta but, it's this game with the Gators that matters the most...matters more than anything else. Pitting me against you...we've been there before :).

Should you accept this dictate..you have to begin all posts concerning the SEC by stating that "Gators Wear Jean Shorts." It's a reference to the atrocious wardrobe of most Gator fans.***

http://www.gatortailgating.com/content/the-real-story-behind-gators-wear-jean-shorts

*This is all very tongue and cheek...obviously you don't have to participate but, why fight it when it's so much fun and there will be so many opportunities to talk trash...why would you pass that up? Plus there's going to be a lot of it here in the coming months..and I just want to give y'all a reason to still log on (that won't be all there is but, it'll show). And there will be give aways...for the person with the first and last team in each division and something special for the "fan" of the team that wins the conference. Probably an autographed screen shot of me flexing my muscles for the blog.

** Speaking of Alabama...do we have a reader from Yorkshire?

*** It's a universal taunt in the SEC now...I'll never forget walking to the car after a loss to Auburn, being harassed by a fella jumping up and down on the roof of his truck waving a pair of cutoffs around. This isn't the funniest taunt though...LSU Fans Smell Like Corndogs...takes that prize.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Hard at Work

IMGP5373

I meant to post Adam's Georgia Bulldog thread last night and I've got a compelling argument why ISBW should take South Carolina but....I was so busy and loaded down with work yesterday, obviously, that I was just too pooped when I got in last night. That's just how it is in The Delta.

Started in the lovely village of Satartia but spent most of the day in Rolling Fork...Home of this fella...



We'll get back to it...once I catch my breath.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Who's Winning?

The most vivid memories I have from childhood involve Gator football...SEC football. These aren't slide shows of partial images jumbled up with bits of conversation and thoughts that may not be congruous. Nothing is obscured behind embarrassment, lost to boredom or flattened by the years. Just pure...almost cinematic memory. For those games, I know where I was, the sequence of events, the emotional impact of those moments and how they lingered like it's happening now.

Still, there was one mystery about these games that confused me for years...a lot of times it was just me and the radio.

Where was my Daddy?

To be sure, the fondest of these memories are with him. There's a Saturday night in 1983, Florid v. LSU in Baton Rouge...me and him huddled in a corner of my parents bedroom because that's the only place the radio would pick up the game. We strained to hear the call between the static and the vibrating roar of the crowd. It was intense...like two souls in a suburban bunker during the Cuban Missile Crisis desperate for news.

As the game wore on what we could make out wasn't good. The Gators were winning but LSU led by quarterback Jeff Wickersham was driving the ball deep into Florida territory. I was already trying to convince myself that the Gators had enough time to score once they got the ball back when Wickersham dropped back for what was sure to be a touchdown pass...INTERCEPTION. Wilber Marshall, legendary Florida Linebacker and future NFL Hall-of-Famer, had miraculously snatched the ball out of the air.

It's the very last highlight of these clips. I'd never seen it before writing this.


Florida wide-out Ricky Nattiel said "all hell broke loose on the sidelines"...and on Cascade Dr. in Tallahassee. We made such a ruckus that it scared my Momma and she yelled at us from across the house. We didn't care. That moment is still one of the most joyous outburst I can remember.

Then there are moments like this one from 1984...Georgia.

The Bulldogs had moved the ball to the two yard line...first and goal. Setting up one of the most dramatic moments in football...the Goal Line stand. With four chances to move the ball a couple of yards...mentally you concede the touchdown.



I remember every moment of it...the jawing after the first play and how my heart fell when I thought they'd scored on second down...then elation as it looked like a fumble...and the crash back down when they recovered the ball. That was a cosmic sign. They were going to score...DROPPED FOR A LOSS. Fourth down!

I'd been laying on some pillows in front of the tv the whole time...squeezing the pillows, banging on the pillows, beating my head against the pillows. I can still remember the feeling of my coupled fist pressing against my forehead as I instinctively moved into a position of prayer...one more time. I could hear the lawnmower outside and I thought about trying to get Daddy but there wasn't enough time...please just one more stop.

Pillows flew...a moment only dampened by the absence of my Daddy.

I showed him the video the other day. He asked me..."When was that boy...when did that happen?" "Ha..it happened while you were cuttin' the grass."

It wasn't until I got a little older that I realized he just couldn't stand watching sometimes...he just couldn't take it. We bought him a brick at Florida Field a couple of years ago with the inscription..."Who's Winning?". Some of the greatest Gator moments of the 80's I listen to by myself...and as a consolation I got to deliver a lot of good news.

It wasn't always good though...and it's a cold night in the fall of 1982 that sticks out the most. I was sitting in a chair in our kitchen, lit only by a small fluorescent light above the sink..listening as the Gators lost to flippin' Vanderbilt. That was about as low as it could get.

Just one week before me and Daddy were ridin' high as Cheech and Chong. The Gators were ranked 4th in the nation and we were going to Florida Field for the first time to watch the Gators beat up on unranked LSU. It didn't go that way...an unknown LSU back named Dalton Hilliard left that game a superstar and we left broken hearted. Obviously the Gators were pretty tore up about it too...losin' to Vanderbilt the next weekend...flippin Vanderbilt.

BUT...It all helped set the scene for the next year, there's always next year...me and Daddy huddled in the corner around a radio desperate for revenge hearing the words INTERCEPTION..a moment me and him have never really stopped celebrating.

Next up...Adam and the Georgia Bulldogs.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Hottie Totties and Cold Couscous

In 31 days we'll push the screen door open and step out onto the front porch. Our former lives, which at that point will seem dull and dingy by comparison, will be transformed into a techinicolor world of singing, dancing, adventure and intrigue...High Drama.

It's a world that runs on bourbon, and the vapors of smoking hogs. Ladies it's time to go shopping for a new sun dress. Fellas you may need to get a new tie and if you're in Baton Rouge...you probably need to do both.

Half of y'all know exactly what I'm talking about...and the other half, by now, can probably guess....



For those of you who can only guess (Brits, minus Adam, and the odd...very odd yankee cough:mazesandgarylurker:cough), you are being invited...no you're being required...to participate in what is probably the greatest spectacle in all of sport* - The Southestern Conference football season. The S-E-C.

Over the next month were gonna talk about the game...try and deal with certain elements that are troubling to our overseas friends like pads, the stops and starts, the clock, etc. Talk about the history of college football and The SEC in particular. Give an overview of each team and what will be required of you once you've decided which team you'll be backing. That's right you gotta pick a team to follow so I can berate you every week when the Gators destroy them.

There's only one rule. For those of you who reflexively love the underdog...first one that picks Vanderbilt has 'em all to their self.

Go Gators, Roll Tide, War Eagle, Go State! Go State!, Call the Hawgs...it's time.

*I was in Germany when England and Germany played in the European Cup to penalty kicks...only thing that I've personally witnessed that compares. It makes sense...because these games are at least nominally played between states. The animosity and passion that attends these games is more like that between European and British Isle national teams than professional American sports. The NFL has it's passionate fans but the teams are not as wrapped up with identity as these College teams are.

The NFL Tennessee Titans play in a stadium that holds just under 69,000. The University of Tennessee Volunteers play in a stadium that holds over 100,000.

I know there's that world cup thing every four years...I know but, since our "overseas" readers are really English readers...well you know...

EDIT: Let me save Mazes the trouble...



Vid belongs to ESPN/ABC

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Writing Again.

I have a story due on Friday (cough:Sundayafternoonmaybefirstthingmondaymorning:cough).

I haven't talked to the first person I'm supposed to interview...well, that's not entirely true. I talked to one fella who was gonna text me a contact number for another person that would arrange for me to talk with the people I'm supposed to be interviewing.

It's not uncommon for folks to be under the mistaken impression that this is my job...that it pays that kinda bread. They'll invite me to "come on by Tuesdee mornin'...we'll talk."

"Are we gonna talk about you hiring me because the only way I can come see you on Tuesday morning is if I quit my actual job?"

Maybe it's flattering for people to think that the magazines bigger than it actually is. Don't get me wrong I love the magazine and I'm compensated fairly for my time but, it's not Sports Illustrated.

Never mind that while I can breath through my nose again...I still feel like I've got a horrible hangover...a screaming dehydration headache hangover...a Subway Lounge hangover.

5

Anyway...same as last time...7:05 pm (Central Time Zone), 0 words.

5:15pm (CTZ), 0 words.

What? I'm strugglin' a little bit. It's not like I just wasted the last 15 minutes watching Tanya Tucker videos on the youtube...



or whatever.

I've got a plan and I'm workin' it.

5:36pm (CTZ), 8 words.

And yes I did just follow a link to a site called the scientific psychic...they promised figures on annual sports injuries. What?

5:50pm (CTZ), 8 words.

There were more words in the text I just sent Martha demanding that she try the bread pudding I brought home today than there are in my article.

I love bread pudding...to an extent that would be embarrassing if I had the capacity to be embarrassed.

6:36pm (CTZ), 45 words.

The subject of the last sentence I wrote is a Martian...we'll see if it stays.

7:09 (CTZ), 51 words.

The fact that Freebird has become a kinda punchline in rocknroll is an injustice.

7:25 (CTZ), June 15, 86 words...

and 10 minutes wasted on Jay Z videos. Jigga WHAAAAT?

8:36 (CTZ), 89 words.

This is what I should be writing about anyway...



I hope our readers understand that there is a time coming in the near future, after a series of team previews, when you will have to choose an SEC team to root for in the Fall...it's mandatory.

9:25 (CTZ), June 16th, 95 words.

Watching the Open Championship online (I could be watching it on the couch if not for this blasted chore...could be playing at my own club too. That's right resolution watchers...you read right). The announcer just made a reference to Are-Kansas...and was quickly corrected by his colleague. Though I don't think that pronunciation is completely unheard of. Lucas Glover's a good'n by the way...he will dominate.

CSA! CSA! CSA!

9:32 (CTZ), 93 words.

Y'all need to watch out for Bubba too.

10:05 (CTZ), 95 words.

They've just discussed Ricky Fowler as a potential rival for Rory...unless it's a contest for the most ridiculous looking person in sports, I don't think Ricky ready for all that.

11:08 (CTZ), 210 words.

Progress but, there's a tv hanging on the wall in this coffee shop and it is now airing an old Tarzan movie. Turn out the lights..the parties over. This whole enterprise is doomed.

11:18 (CTZ, 245 words.

Now Seergay's [sic] here. This is hopeless. Seergay is a professor at a local university and he's from Russia. Great fella...friendly and cheerful. He's busy talking up the young lady behind the counter right now...so his distraction for me is not deliberate. It's his freakin outfit! I've gone cross-eyed. He's wearing a sweat stained orange T-shirt (heat index hasn't been below 100 for days), red and black plaid shorts, an elaborate fanny pack and argyle socks...d*** it MAN WHY?.....Why?

6:03 (CTZ), 314 words.

Took a break...who is it that could maintain this level of intense focus without a break?

6:46 (CTZ), 316 words.



How am I supposed to work when I've miraculously found a good Gator video on the youtube (great football team, awful youtube fans). I don't own the audio by the way ...but I'm interested if it's for sale.

9:16 (CTZ), June 17th, 435 words.

Moving along but with Phil moving up the leader board...it's touch and go at best.

Just heard the unmistakable non-accent accent of a midwesterner yelling..."IN THE HOLE." Cretin.

1:00 (CTZ), 688.

I guess the intensity of my struggles have proved to be too much for some readers...blog activity has come to a screeching halt.

Good for Clarke. Good dood.

7:48pm (CTZ), DONE.

It's out of my hands now. Thank cupcakes. That was the most tedious writing chore I've had since I took a Human Evolution course in my last semester at Millsaps.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Patriotism and Golf

I'm busy today at work...watching a live stream of the U.S. Open.

In the spirit of our bantering Fridays, I just hollered across the hall to ask my co-worker who was gonna win...

"Hopefully an American."

Sigh..."Yeah it's not lookin' too good for that right now."

"I know..Europeans are kickin' our butts."

Whoa...wait a minute now..."OUR" butts?

First of all, though I genuinely like my co-worker...he's a good fella...he and me are not a we. He's got family down here, been here for a while but unlike some who come down here to live, leaving behind their bad habits*, he's still got some that are decidedly northernish (and some that are just bizarre and hilarious).

Don't get me wrong. He's a buddy of mine but, I had good friends in Germany. Don't make me German. Flimsy Cups has more British readers than North Americans...don't make us British. When I finally get that lime-green with orange racing stripe, hard top MGB GT from my old neighbor...I won't be English. I will, thank God, still be the same Cracker I've always been.

Affinity does not equate to oneness.

UPDATE: He's now watching it too...and doing a mocking English accent whenever a non-American comes up on the screen...Lord have mercy. Is it dinner yet?

Secondly, is there really a place for patriotism in golf? I have no emotional or intellectual problem with patriotism...the gaudier the better. I just don't really feel it for the U.S. Should Dixie ever regain it's independence...I'll make you cross-eyed with Battle Flags around here. And if a Good'un like Bubba Watson get's close on Sunday I'll be all over it. Still, it's golf. It's the Form of individuality disguised as a sport. Aside from Bubba and Boo, I'm rootin' for Phil...and he's from California. I'd love for Rory to get the taste of Augusta out of his mouth or, for Luke Donald to live up to his ranking.

If Mazes ever finally qualifies...I'll be his biggest fan. Begging to be on the bag...and we all know where he's from. :)

That's why I can't stand the Davis Cup (should be Ryder Cup...that's how much I care) thing that's played between Europe and the US every year. There's just something smelly (almost reddish) about turning golf into a team sport. I'm supposed to root against one of my favorite golfers of all time like Nick Faldo just because he's playing against some fella from New Jersey? Kiss my grits!

Team sports are different...team sports and patriotism go hand and hand. A lot of our friends in "the rest of the country" are irritated and confused by, generally speaking,** our fanaticism for the SEC as a whole...not just our own teams. The SEC is a Southern Institution and it's one of the few outlets for Southern Patriotism.

If you want to USA USA during an international basketball tournament...I get that but, please leave it out of my Golf.


*Somewhat ironically...they are usually referred to as Damn Yankees. Yankees that come down and never go back...ironic because these are usually the ones that make themselves at home and blend right in.

**The Sister actually rooted for michigan state against Alabama this year...her hatred of the Crimson Tide has obviously caused some mental damage.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Regional Digression

Real quick...just want to share the miserable and excruciating longing I felt last night watching a CBS Sports Network replay of Arkansas/LSU at the sister's.



It won't matter to a lot of you but, many of our readers will spend the rest of the day grinding their teeth and weeping inside because it's only June.

Enjoy

P.S. If you stopped by hoping for some Southwest Conference talk....here you go.