This is the boat landing where we used to live.
It's also where one of these...
tried to kill me.
You think I'm bein' dramatic? Take another look at that beedy-eyed devil. You think a second passes durin' the day that he's not focused on killin' somethin'?
It's a long story...made longer by the fact that I know nobody would believe it if told in it's entirety. All you need to know is that I was knee deep in the water...bein' a humanitarian...tryin' to massage a fish back to life.
I heard they did a study recently tryin' to prove that Cottonmouth's weren't aggressive (the point of which, even after it was explained, still escapes me). They dangled this mechanical arm out in the water tryin' to provoke these these vicious snakes...and got nothin'...crickets. I guarantee you if they had dangled a dead bream out there on that arm them moccasins woulda swarmed on it like hornets.
I've seen what happens to a human leg when one these gets hold of it too...poor fella was black, but his leg was the color of a school bus and big around as a ripe cantaloupe.
Anyway, I survived unscathed. I got outta the water like a ninja and he was more focused on the fish anyway.
I think the chances of me getting on a plane to America just got slimmer. There is probably some dumbass trying to preserve these things too.
ReplyDeleteYou could always limit your visit to the north. They don't have to fool with such things.
ReplyDeleteOf course, nine times out of ten, the people you find trying to preserve monsters like these are those that didn't have to dodge them growin' up.
Sadly though....no one is trying to save the Cottonmouth...he's doin just fine on his own. We live in a sub-tropical wilderness...and Mississippi alone is a little over 2/3 the size of the entire UK...with a population less than 3 million.
Rivers, swamps, bayous,...it's a varmints paradise...gators (though they really aren't all that aggressive), snakes, every kinda bug and spider. You should see the rattlers in North Florida... X( . The only one of these ghouls that'll actually come after you mad is a cotoonmouth moccasin.
I've only seen two tiny little snakes in our yard this year, but we an army of Tom cats that patrol the neighborhood and cut off their food source...but I saw one crossin' a road in Grand Gulf in the Spring...still gives me the Hebee Geebees...only 'bout three feet long but big around as a coffee cup...arghhhhhhhhhhh.
Sub-tropical wilderness sounds great. That creature? Not so great. No killer snakes like that in Lancashire, it's just Yorkshiremen we need to watch out for!!
ReplyDeleteUnlike Yorkshiremen...these beasts take about a 3 month nap every year.
ReplyDeleteHello Gregg, I'm from Storth, nr Milnthorpe, Imagine two folks from a few miles apart meeting on this jokers blog eh?
ReplyDeleteAdam
That's what I do...I bring people togeher.
ReplyDeleteMy existence is a service to the world...a true humanitarian.