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Monday, June 11, 2012

With a Sidekick Like This....

who needs a Nemisis?

This is a story about a cokecola....

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but, it's more than that. It's a story about trust and the importance of being able to rely on the people in your life.

Them little bottles of cokecola are irresitable to me...just enough to finish off before it goes flat and they get so cold in that glass.

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Especially if you've got a cooler full of dry ice.

You have to be careful though. By some mysterious force...cokecola exapnds when it freezes and it will blow that bottle to atoms.

So, I texted my man..."Parsons...do be a good fellow and text me the word Coke when you get this."

I'm a busy man y'all...ooobviously...and I thought it was best, in order to avoid an explosion, if I had a reminder to get the cokecola outta the cooler before it blew. I figured it would take a minute or two for him to get around to responding...

Immediately there's a buzz and the word "Coke, Sir" appears on my screen. Since it was Tuesday...or Monday...or Thursday...I should have known he'd just be loafin' about. Listen now, and this is coming from a Southroner no less...this &%$#@& neeever works. Never. If he had it any better he'd have to be twins.

"Too soon Parsons. I've got a coke on the freeze and I need you to remind me to get it out before it explodes. Give it a minute or two."

Like I said, I'm busy...I'm out there hustlin'...tryin' to put food on the table...shoes on my boys feet. That's why I need somebody who's got my back...who'll keep an eye on my blind spot...a sidekick.


I could rely on Martha but, how many times can you be told..."I don't have time for this foolishness right now. I'm actually working"...before you have to relieve that person of their duties? What does that even mean..."I'm actually working"?

There's The Sister...right, the same Sister that accussed me of being possesed by a demon?

What about Allan? I couldn't even get hold of him the last time I had an entire day to kill in Lucedale.

That leaves Adamparsons...who, it turns out, is as unreliable as he is readily available.

Ten minutes pass...and without a word from Adam...it occures to me that I have a coke in the cooler that ought to be good and cold by now. I couldn't stop the truck fast enough. When I lifted the lid I could see, through the vapors of the dry ice, glimpses of the red lable and my mouth started to tingle with anticipation. Man was it cold...what I thought were little flakes of ice, had formed at the top of the bottle. Perfect.

I rushed back to the drivers seat...I could already feel it buring my throat. I dug my lighter under the cap....pulled...and...

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Once I recovered from the blast...I sent this picture to Adamparsons to shame him for falling down on the job but, all I got in response...ten minutes later...was the following text..

"You have no idea how hard I've been laughing."

With a support network like this...it's a wonder I'm still alive.


And just so we don't have to create a new tag...

20 comments:

  1. LOL, Damn watch out for the terrorist Coke bombers. You know with that same smart phone you are texting from and checking blogs, I believe there is a timer or alarm you could set. Just saying, been a nice little feature on phones since like 1994.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If I need somebody to make Martha laugh at me I call Mazes.

      Delete
    2. Dude, you know this joker, we're lucky he can use the texting function never mind set a timer. The only motivating force there is the drive to talk trash and read crap over comes technophobia, whereas clearly the desire to structure and organise ain't quite so hot.

      I'm a let you off with the nonsense Pumba, as its worth it to see that picture again. I'm at work today :-( can't run forever.
      Adam

      Delete
    3. Obviously I need to call a staff meeting.

      I expect, and can live with, a certain amount of cheek but this is getting out of hand.

      Delete
  2. A heard last week of a chap who entered The Fall's dressing room before a gig, to find Mark E Smith asleep on the table with his false teeth in a cup beside him. Maybe he got hit in the mouth by an exploding chunk of Coke?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What could be better with a potato chip sandwich than a frigid cokecola?

      I believe it.

      Delete
    2. http://i50.tinypic.com/2m4ezav.jpg
      What could be better with a frigid cokecola than a chocolate ricecrispy cake?

      Delete
  3. Well, you had been saying the inside of the car needed cleaning, hadn't you? :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Funny you should mention that...somehow a piece of some sorta seafood has gotten loose in the truck...it is ghastly in there right now.

      And the pina colada air freshner (I just told the clerk to grab whatever...more mistakes)...isn't really helping.

      Delete
  4. What a waste of cold coke... so were you licking it up off the interior of the car lol... yes I am laughing because it least it happens to someone else lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not to worry...I finished off what was left. Despite the damage...I had half a frozen coke...which, all things considered, is still better than a stick in the eye.

      Delete
  5. I've Had next to no Internet access since yesterday morning...but I had to get on here this morning make a quick observation.

    It's fascinating to me that I've given y'all real quality here lately...we plumbed the depths of the female psyche, I've taken y'all into the wounded heart of the South...and given you privileged access to the Subway Lounge....crickets...but the instant I make an ass of myself, y'all can't get over here fast enough to have a little fun at my expense.

    This is exactly what I'm talkin about...





    :).

    ReplyDelete
  6. Misery loves company, Its just nice to know dumb ass things happen to others also. I appreciate the music videos, and reading about the subway. But making an ass out of yourself, Hell yea I'm going to comment. Like the "banana slip" comes to mind.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Way to go Mazes...every time that banana peel is mentioned there's a chance that Parsons may fall into a laughing fit he can't stop.

      Like that little girl in Florida that had the hiccups for six years.

      Delete
  7. This has really tickled me! Very clever writing - I like it :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you ma'am..just returning the favor.

      Welcome and make yourself at home.

      Delete
  8. I'm with Adam on this - you have no idea how hard I was laughing!
    Though really, I am with Martha... we women have gotta be united in our hard take on "priorities"...
    Yeah - as usual the writing is up to scratch. I enjoyed e.f.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Mrs. Muj.

      It's the cokecola that keeps on giving.

      Maybe I can get my priorities straight today and actually post something.

      Hope things are well on your end.

      Delete