or Cheap Brushes.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
Rotten Egg and Freckles - Part 2
Anyway...we had a great meal Saturday night and, for the first time in a very long time, we were able to enjoy just being the two of us. We didn't have to get the boy until noon the next day so we made plans for a leisurely breakfast at a place called Another Broken Egg.
It's a new restaurant in town. Its focus is breakfast, but not like Waffle House though...it's a restaurant with table cloths and all that. It's also a breakfast joint without any grits unless...and Allan will luuuv this....you want Grits and Blackberries as a breakfast appetizer. WT...?
They started on the Gulf Coast in North Florida but it was obviously designed for vacationing yankees. Corn Beef Hash??? If I've had it in an MRE...I'm not gonna pay for it.
Anyway, Martha got some Mexican eggs and I got three rubbery pancakes with enough butter to cover a postage stamp...barely.
That'll be forty dollars. FORTY DOLLARS!!! At today's exchange rate that's 24 pound 40 for our readers in the UK. Forty Bucks...24 quid...for a breakfasts withOUT GRITS!
Get &&*&*^%*^*&d!
Despite all that ( and despite the fact that we sat outside. I'm afraid I wasn't able to conceal my disappointment over that decision very well. It's not natural...sun glaring in your eyes, people sitting on top of you, not wanting to talk above a whisper, patio furniture...unless it's at the beach I'd rather be in the natural setting for a human being while eating...booth, dark, climate control, walled off from other eating humans...) we did manage to carry on the kinda meandering conversations we used to have over meals...before we were hired on as help for a two year old.
That's when the freckles came up. Martha's from good Scottish stock...lots of freckles and they reproduce like rabbits in April if you get a little sun on her. I love those freckles...who doesn't?
I wake up in a lot of hotel rooms always with the tv on and almost always with an infomercial playing...often for a cream that will hide a woman's freckles. Why on EARTH would a woman want to do something like that...same reason she wants to have the body of a 15 year old boy...because she doesn't care about attracting straight men...she just wants to make her female friends furious with envy. The best way to do that??? Become the ideal woman in form and skin tone as determined by gay fashion designers.
It would be a much different world if straight men ran the fashion and beauty industries. Yeah you might have to wear some blue eye-shadow, you'd probably be spending a lot more time in hot-pants, even your pajamas would be low cut but, the second that little pot belly started flattenin' out..."Better stock up on Twinkies"...."My bottom has lost that slight jiggle it had last summer. Better cut down on the exercise...have a honeybun."
I'm just sayin....
It's a new restaurant in town. Its focus is breakfast, but not like Waffle House though...it's a restaurant with table cloths and all that. It's also a breakfast joint without any grits unless...and Allan will luuuv this....you want Grits and Blackberries as a breakfast appetizer. WT...?
They started on the Gulf Coast in North Florida but it was obviously designed for vacationing yankees. Corn Beef Hash??? If I've had it in an MRE...I'm not gonna pay for it.
Anyway, Martha got some Mexican eggs and I got three rubbery pancakes with enough butter to cover a postage stamp...barely.
That'll be forty dollars. FORTY DOLLARS!!! At today's exchange rate that's 24 pound 40 for our readers in the UK. Forty Bucks...24 quid...for a breakfasts withOUT GRITS!
Get &&*&*^%*^*&d!
Despite all that ( and despite the fact that we sat outside. I'm afraid I wasn't able to conceal my disappointment over that decision very well. It's not natural...sun glaring in your eyes, people sitting on top of you, not wanting to talk above a whisper, patio furniture...unless it's at the beach I'd rather be in the natural setting for a human being while eating...booth, dark, climate control, walled off from other eating humans...) we did manage to carry on the kinda meandering conversations we used to have over meals...before we were hired on as help for a two year old.
That's when the freckles came up. Martha's from good Scottish stock...lots of freckles and they reproduce like rabbits in April if you get a little sun on her. I love those freckles...who doesn't?
I wake up in a lot of hotel rooms always with the tv on and almost always with an infomercial playing...often for a cream that will hide a woman's freckles. Why on EARTH would a woman want to do something like that...same reason she wants to have the body of a 15 year old boy...because she doesn't care about attracting straight men...she just wants to make her female friends furious with envy. The best way to do that??? Become the ideal woman in form and skin tone as determined by gay fashion designers.
It would be a much different world if straight men ran the fashion and beauty industries. Yeah you might have to wear some blue eye-shadow, you'd probably be spending a lot more time in hot-pants, even your pajamas would be low cut but, the second that little pot belly started flattenin' out..."Better stock up on Twinkies"...."My bottom has lost that slight jiggle it had last summer. Better cut down on the exercise...have a honeybun."
I'm just sayin....
Rotten Egg and Freckles
Me and Martha slipped off this weekend...about 5 miles down the road...to celebrate our 13th anniversary.
Initially we made plans to go down to Natchez but then it looked like it might flood so...we decided to stay somewhere in Jackson. The main thing was to separate Martha from the temptation to do chores..didn't really matter where it was.
We dropped the boy off at The Sister's around 3 on Saturday and we were off...Freedom. We spent the first couple of hours lounging on the couch watching 88 Hours and talking about how we'd still be driving if we'd gone to Natchez.
Had a scrumptious meal that night at Mint. The world doesn't need a cokecola y'all...it needs some Duck Nachos from Mint.
To be continued...I was trying to save it and I hit the wrong *&((*&&* button.
Initially we made plans to go down to Natchez but then it looked like it might flood so...we decided to stay somewhere in Jackson. The main thing was to separate Martha from the temptation to do chores..didn't really matter where it was.
We dropped the boy off at The Sister's around 3 on Saturday and we were off...Freedom. We spent the first couple of hours lounging on the couch watching 88 Hours and talking about how we'd still be driving if we'd gone to Natchez.
Had a scrumptious meal that night at Mint. The world doesn't need a cokecola y'all...it needs some Duck Nachos from Mint.
To be continued...I was trying to save it and I hit the wrong *&((*&&* button.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Colonizing Egypt in Hattiesburg Mississippi
Dry Ice, Road Rage, Forms, and Post Colonialism...squares and coffee.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Squat
The Sister says she's done checking my blog because she's been checking it all week and I haven't "done squat."
Excuuuse me. It's been a busy week. Those happen when you have an actual job.
It got started early too. Sunday night I had to deal with this...
Then I spent most of the week in glamorous southeast Mississippi. That's right Bassfield, Columbia, McComb, and Picayune...where I bought a King Cake from Paul's Pastry to share with The Sister and her's on Thursday night. She couldn't be bothered though...canceled on us.
And one of y'all should probably keep the ASPCA and Child Protective Services on speed dial.
First of all...Mary-Cathcart. This cat thinks it's the funniest thing ever in the history of animal domestication to get up on the counter. It's like a game to her. She leaps up and scrambles behind the coffee pot or the blender...juts her head out, gives it a few jerky bobs...like a snake lookin' to strike. We holler at her, she scrambles to hide, we drag her out, toss her on the floor. She runs around the kitchen island and jumps on the other counter.
Sunday night me and Allan caught her loungin' on a kitchen towel where the boys sippy cups and plates had been stacked to dry...had been. She just looked at us like..."what...WHAT?". I love that cat...she's my cat but, I'mma kill her if she don't learn some manners.
Then there's The Boy. A couple of weeks ago he got the pneumonia. When I took him to the doctor he was fine except for the 103 temp. Then they gave him the steriods. It was like living with a midget wrestler for a week...a villainous one.
Roid Rage!
That passed but in the short amount of time that he was sick and we were a little more lenient...he picked up some habits. Like throwing at the first sign he's not getting his way.
Yesterday evening we had a great time..we went to Lemuria, we walked around Mirror Lake and saw the baby ducks...all very pleasant. Then we went to a store that had toys, Thomas Trains, and a big plastic riding tractor.
I guess he thought we were dropping him off to live there because when it was time to go he screamed Nooooo and ran. He was one of those children last night...I dragged his screamin' behind out of there and when we got to the car it was on. I spanked his butt (settle down...I didn't beat him...but I could have :) I didn't even hit his bare legs ), put him in his car seat and then we (meaning I talked he listened) had a discussion about his behavior lately (again...no screaming or cursing...just no nonsense.."we're done playing these games).
It was the first time I was genuinely aggravated with him*...he's too aware and smart not to know what he's doing. First time I really had to act like a Daddy...remind him that I wasn't just one of his buddies. I was doin' pretty good too 'til I asked him how he thought he could be in charge "when he couldn't even reach the sink?" I was thinkin' about how he couldn't even wash his own hands...you know.
That was a fail...Martha immediately covered her mouth and began to vibrate in her seat...all in a desperate attempt not to break out into that donkey laugh of her's. It was futile...all the stern credibility that I had built up since we left the store disappeared as her haws and guffaws filled the car.
It was time to let it go anyway...he had listened and stopped cryin' when I told him to. We had a good evenin' from then on out and that's how the week wrapped up.
* Meaning him as a person...there's been plenty of aggravation raisin' his stanky, loud a****** to this point.
Q if you don't understand something you could always ask in a comment...you know actually participate LURKER. Maybe somebody else has similar questions.
Excuuuse me. It's been a busy week. Those happen when you have an actual job.
It got started early too. Sunday night I had to deal with this...
Then I spent most of the week in glamorous southeast Mississippi. That's right Bassfield, Columbia, McComb, and Picayune...where I bought a King Cake from Paul's Pastry to share with The Sister and her's on Thursday night. She couldn't be bothered though...canceled on us.
And one of y'all should probably keep the ASPCA and Child Protective Services on speed dial.
First of all...Mary-Cathcart. This cat thinks it's the funniest thing ever in the history of animal domestication to get up on the counter. It's like a game to her. She leaps up and scrambles behind the coffee pot or the blender...juts her head out, gives it a few jerky bobs...like a snake lookin' to strike. We holler at her, she scrambles to hide, we drag her out, toss her on the floor. She runs around the kitchen island and jumps on the other counter.
Sunday night me and Allan caught her loungin' on a kitchen towel where the boys sippy cups and plates had been stacked to dry...had been. She just looked at us like..."what...WHAT?". I love that cat...she's my cat but, I'mma kill her if she don't learn some manners.
Then there's The Boy. A couple of weeks ago he got the pneumonia. When I took him to the doctor he was fine except for the 103 temp. Then they gave him the steriods. It was like living with a midget wrestler for a week...a villainous one.
Roid Rage!
That passed but in the short amount of time that he was sick and we were a little more lenient...he picked up some habits. Like throwing at the first sign he's not getting his way.
Yesterday evening we had a great time..we went to Lemuria, we walked around Mirror Lake and saw the baby ducks...all very pleasant. Then we went to a store that had toys, Thomas Trains, and a big plastic riding tractor.
I guess he thought we were dropping him off to live there because when it was time to go he screamed Nooooo and ran. He was one of those children last night...I dragged his screamin' behind out of there and when we got to the car it was on. I spanked his butt (settle down...I didn't beat him...but I could have :) I didn't even hit his bare legs ), put him in his car seat and then we (meaning I talked he listened) had a discussion about his behavior lately (again...no screaming or cursing...just no nonsense.."we're done playing these games).
It was the first time I was genuinely aggravated with him*...he's too aware and smart not to know what he's doing. First time I really had to act like a Daddy...remind him that I wasn't just one of his buddies. I was doin' pretty good too 'til I asked him how he thought he could be in charge "when he couldn't even reach the sink?" I was thinkin' about how he couldn't even wash his own hands...you know.
That was a fail...Martha immediately covered her mouth and began to vibrate in her seat...all in a desperate attempt not to break out into that donkey laugh of her's. It was futile...all the stern credibility that I had built up since we left the store disappeared as her haws and guffaws filled the car.
It was time to let it go anyway...he had listened and stopped cryin' when I told him to. We had a good evenin' from then on out and that's how the week wrapped up.
* Meaning him as a person...there's been plenty of aggravation raisin' his stanky, loud a****** to this point.
Q if you don't understand something you could always ask in a comment...you know actually participate LURKER. Maybe somebody else has similar questions.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Baton Rouge, L'uisiana
I had the gator.
The money was in Baton Rouge this week.
Our first exit in the Pelican State.
Britney Spears was born just up the road from Exit 61 in McComb, Mississippi but she was raised in Kentwood, Louisiana.
Aside from the Pumpkin Center/Baptist exit there's not much else along the interstate 'til you get to Baton Rouge and it's Live Oaks...
If left alone, the limbs'll get so long that they bow down and start to grow along the sandy ground. There are whole neighborhoods and roads canopied under these things draped with Spanish Moss...it's one of the most beautiful sites in The South.
Of course the most beautiful site in The South is one of these....
Tiger Stadium, Death Vally, where it never rains and where in 1988 the fans caused an earthquake to register at the geology center after a game winning touchdown against Auburn.
Baton Rouge is home to Louisiana State University...LSU, The Tigers, Bayou Bengals, founding member of the SEC. They're named after Wheat's Tigers. Recruited mostly from the waterfront in New Orleans they were a L'ousiana unit of zouaves in the Confederate army...so rowdy that they had to be dispersed after Wheat was killed. It's a legacy the LSU fans carry on with ridiculous enthusiasm.
Me and Martha went down for a game against Mississippi State a few years ago. The first thing we saw as we pulled onto campus was an actual gator hanging from the limb of a live oak. The president of the school regularly has to write letters of apology to visiting teams and their fans. While most schools in the SEC are known their sharp dressed fans (ties and cocktail dresses)...at LSU you'll find purple and gold pimps and Elvis impersonators.
First of all they're mostly Cajuns...it's just how they are. Secondly, it takes an act of congress or millions in tv loot to get 'em to play a game during the day. Saturday night in Death Valley is a brutal place to try and get a win...mainly because its 92,000 seats are mostly filled with Coonasses that have been drinking bourbon since before the sun came up.
Edit: I had to add this one...so perfectly over the top.
It's an unqualified blast.
The Money really was in Baton Rouge this week...or more specifically in Gonzalez. I love my job...that's all...and I found out just how satisfying it can be this week. I ride with sales reps. I bring new products and we talk to their customers about bringing them on. I spend a day or two with the reps and get to know them, their goals, about their families...and I get to help them make money. Wednesday, just a couple of hours after meeting a reps wife and daughters, he got a call from a customer we'd talked to that morning...they were going to buy.
He was so excited...jumpin' around, high fives..and then he thought about the money...got his calculator out, ran the numbers...2 grand in annual salary. That's what our morning turned out to be worth for him and his family.
Like I said I love my job.
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